Feeling hopeless

[TheMeg]

I'm currently working on my masters and living with my parents to save money but it's killing me. Every day in fighting with one of them like I'm back in high school again. I have three years until I'm done and will start making enough money to buy a house but I just don't know if I can make it that long. I had a lot of bad times when I was in my undergrad but being back here puts me right back where I was as a teenager with no way out.

[Hidden]

Look at it this way... You're saving money, your parents don't have to let you lice there, three years is not a bug deal in the grand scheme of things..

[TheMeg in reply to Hidden]

Logically I know all of that. But emotionally it's so hard to keep that in mind when they make me feel so small and incompetent. Usually I look at houses to calm me down, think about what I'll be able to get eventually.

[hypercat54]

Refuse to fight with them. They can cause arguments but you haven't got fight back. Change the way you react. Try and let it all go over your head. x

[TheMeg in reply to hypercat54]

I really try but my dad tends to decide he needs to feel big and I'm the one that he can scream at so he just gets on me and yells and yells over the smallest things. Sometimes I'm able to push it off and not care but other times I just get so fed up with being treated like shit.

[hypercat54 in reply to TheMeg]

Difficult. Does humour work? x

[sweetiepye]

Your parents are probably so afraid of not being needed any longer. If they can find you incompetent then they are still vital. This is really about them and their needs. If you can let them have their say and then go about your business it might work out. Acknowledge their help and concern. I have been in this situation as the parent and as the child . You all want the same thing....to be loved and to be necessary and to be acknowledged as a competent person.Pam

[Hidden]

Hi, I missed your(current) reply , sorry.

Logic is one thing, reality is another.. One cliche` I've found to be true is "no one can 'make' you feel either good or bad" It's you who controls your feelings. Those feeling are "triggered" by old scripts we have in our heads about how to react and feel in any given situation.. We need to rewrite the bad bad ones . Is there a CoDA (Co Dependents Anonymous ) near you? I found they are very helpful.. A book titled "The Untethered Soul" by Michael A. Singer is a wonderful help at looking honestly at who we think we are and how we fit in . the world.. I'm suggesting those two as a way to look at yourself and hopefully realize that you are not alone in how you feel.. What you do about your feelings is up to you.

[Booklover0219]

What are they getting upset at you about? It sounds like there is something that is a big deal to them and not a big deal to you. This is pretty normal. Maybe you can have a talk with them about it to help each of you see the others point or view? If they are reasonable people they will appreciate that. If they are not reasonable people then hopefully you can move as soon as possible.

[TheMeg in reply to Booklover0219]

They're not reasonable lol. At the time of this postmy dad was mad because I was mad he took my dog out (who sleeps in my bed) after I specifically asked him not to because I was ready to go to bed but he did it anyway and screamed at me over it. I'm just trying to ger through it 😂

[Careyon]

Yep, I have 2 young adult kids 22 and 26 and when they come home we all revert back to them being 16 again. I still parent and annoy them like they’re 16 and to be honest they still act like they’re 16. I know they’ve been on their own in school and I see the maturity but, it’s something about coming back home to their teenage bedrooms and home that take us all back several years. Both you and your parents have to be intentional about respecting each other. You respecting their home and rules and them respecting you’re a young adult and can make your own decisions and deal with any consequences of your decisions. Hang in there it’s a curse and a blessing to be back home. Try to focus on the blessing and the option to save money. It’s actually a really big blessing. Maybe one of these articles will be helpful, bit.ly/2RuJoB9 keep looking at those homes and focusing on the future. This too shall pass.