Talking to doc about anxiety meds.. How have you broached this subject?

[panicmachine]

So I have been experiencing an incredibly difficult period in my life and would like to get on a med I was previously on, with excellent results. The problem is, it can be dangerous if taken carelessly with another essential med I take. I have been trying for nearly four years to find a replacement, and previously I had been somewhat stable on other meds, but after the suicide of my ex I have been struggling desperately to find a degree of stability that will allow me to heal. I have tried all medications commonly prescribed for anxiety and even some less common ones, have been attending and engaging fully in therapy twice a week, committed myself to the hospital for nine days and am considering another round, developed a support team of my closest friends and partners, channeled my feelings into various art projects and done as much research as I can on ways to handle these overwhelming dark feelings I live with. I recognize fully that this struggle will make me stronger eventually as long as I keep trying, but between the events that led to this breakdown-unresolved trauma from the relationship with my ex as well as my parents (my father died three years and two days before my ex), and being destitute with no money, few possessions, no job and no ability to keep one, no car in a rural area with unreliable public transportation, and increasingly distressing physical effects of constant uncontrolled anxiety-i am not doing well. I fear this seemingly endless insecurity in my life is going to negatively affect my ability to recover from a decade of loss, trauma, and desperation. I want to get back on the medication that helped carry me thru my dad's death, and I believe I've shown myself to be more than capable of understanding my needs and responsibly and safely handling what many doctors now consider a dangerous medication combination and dedication to recovering my mental health, but my doctor, who has not seen me for very long, has stated he is firmly against the treatment I'm seeking. I believe this is partly because he doesn't trust me to make these decisions no matter how capable I am of the self-awareness and drive to recover. I am still a poor and mentally ill person and thus a high-risk patient to him even tho he has not seen my resilience and dedication firsthand. My therapist and case manager do, however, believe I can integrate this med into my treatment with good results, and have suggested that if he isn't willing to work with me I should seek another opinion. But I am TERRIFIED. I'm afraid of being labeled simply a drug seeker, I am so, so afraid of challenging a medical professional in the name of self-advocacy. I see my doc at the end of next week and will be accompanied by my case manager while I discuss this matter with him. Ideally he will listen and understand, but in the event that he denies me again after I present my case and I have to seek med management elsewhere (I will still see my regular therapist, whom I have been with for about three years), I have no idea where to go from there. I hate seeing new doctors and having to explain my situation again and again and I'm afraid that nobody who takes medicaid will be willing to take me seriously. Because I have been to several facilities for treatment over the past 15 years, my medical records appear to be disorganized, and a period of being uninsured left a gap in my records (I was on another, similar med for four years before losing my insurance, also without negative effects), and this also seems to factor into the skepticism I face from doctors. I wish they could trust me enough to take me seriously, but the recent panic over anxiety medications seems to take precedence over my personal understanding of my mental illnesses and what I need to stabilize myself. It's been nearly a year since his suicide and I want to get better, and I understand it will be a long journey that medication alone cannot facilitate, but I am in a desperate state.

Does anyone have any experience with speaking to essentially random doctors about sensitive and individualized issues like this? I have written down the points I want to make because in the moment I am not able to say what I want to say, I freeze up and just start laughing and crying out of panic and am unable to articulate myself. Having my case manager with me to verify my statements will be helpful but I want to know if there's anything else I can do, and how to approach the situation with a totally new doctor in the event that he refuses me again. Any advice in that area I will appreciate deeply.

[BlueSky125]

what is the medication that you are trying to get. It’s ok if you don’t want to say. Would this be something you would take everyday or just as needed.

[Dolphin14]

There are some meds that mds are prescribing less and less. I'm not sure if this is what you are looking for?

MD have different thoughts about using certain meds. This may not be about " you" but about how they feel regarding certain med groups.

My approach would be coming out and saying I'm still not doing well. I feel like I may need more medication. Personally I wouldn't ask for one in particular. I would make the statement and see what they have to say. After the conversation starts drug names will be tossed around then I would ask " what about...."

Is this MD helping you in other ways?Is your only complaint about the meds?

Everyone has a right to a second opinion. So that is always an option.

Good luck with the meeting. It's good you have someone going with you.