Talking too much about anxiety and other issues?

[ilikebears]

Do you ever feel like you are a burden to other people, like you talk about your anxiety too much? Several months ago, my boyfriend asked me to try not to talk about my anxiety so much because it's hard for him to handle. So I've been trying, and I thought I was doing a lot better. I'm in therapy too, so that helps.

But tonight we had an argument because I brought up something that happened at work recently that made me feel bad, and he started saying that he feels like I've been coming to him with a lot of problems lately, and it's getting to be an issue. I honestly thought I was being better about this, and I actually can't remember coming to him with anything lately. This wasn't even about anxiety; it was about a specific work-related thing. And I feel like couples should be able to talk about what's going on in their lives.

He thinks that I'm depending on him all the time for support with things, and he doesn't believe me when I tell him that I'm not trying to do that. I seriously don't know what I'm doing wrong here. If this is something I keep doing, can anyone give me advice on how to be better? Thanks.

[Hidden]

Do you think tha you talk bout it to much, do you think I you didn't talk about it so much tha you would become less obsessed by it and maybe begin to feel better?

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I've been guilty of this

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I'm the opposite, I never ever spoke about mine when I had it, ever!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

But you can talk about it here

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I don't get it anymore, haven't for a couple of years now, but yea here is good if someone needs to talk about it.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I didn't come here initially to share /conversations. I wanted to post fragments/poetry --my version of the drive-by

It was a step towards playing music, writing songs; but I've been terrified of sharing my dark thoughts in songs but this site is helping me. The anonymity ! I love it.

[ilikebears in reply to Hidden]

I didn't think I was talking about it too much, honestly. I feel like in the past I have talked about it too much and now it has gotten to the point where if I mention anything a little bit negative in conversation, it's irritating to him. But I will pay attention to how much I talk about negative things and see if changing that helps. Thank you.

[Hidden in reply to ilikebears]

Maybe he needs to be more considerate?

[Tikirob]

I have severe ocd. My partner just told me I had to leave our apt recently because of my disorder. I am now bouncing on people’s couches so to speak. We are burdensome on people but that’s because we are mentally unwell. There are many supportive people who will love us despite this. It’s not your fault and if you could quit being anxious you would have done it long ago. It’s important to understand that what you struggle with is so much you as it is the thing that attacks you. Hopefully your boyfriend will learn the difference between you and your anxiety and will choose patience over anger.

[Tikirob in reply to Tikirob]

Is not so much you as it is the thing that attacks you

[ilikebears in reply to Tikirob]

Thank you. I appreciate this.

[Kat63]

Have you got a therapist, or anybody else you can talk to about this? It really helps to have somebody other than your bf to talk to.

[ilikebears in reply to Kat63]

Yes, I've been in therapy for a year, and it has been going well. I can only afford to go once a month, though, so that is a long time to go without anyone to confide in. Maybe that's part of the problem.

[Kat63 in reply to ilikebears]

I think so, too. Most of us don’t get nearly as much therapy as we need.

[Hidden]

Most of my troubles are shared with my therapist, in weekly sessions. She has helped me a great deal, I think. I also have started texting and a couple of IRL meetings with women from a depression program I went through, it is usually more lighthearted but seems to be helping as well.

I also,increasingly,have looked to this site as communication to get things off my chest by posting poetry fragments.

[Kat63 in reply to Hidden]

Yeah, this site is a big help to me, too.

[ilikebears in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for responding. I've been in therapy for about a year now, but I can only afford to go once a month. How did you find your depression program, if you don't mind me asking? I wouldn't mind joining an anxiety support group, but I'm not sure where to look for one.

[Hidden in reply to ilikebears]

I heard about it through a NAMI group I was attending. It is offered by one of the local hospitals here. After a particularly bad weekend, I asked my therapist if she would make a referral or do what was necessary so I could join.

I am pretty broke right now, so I qualified for Medicaid in my state. They also had a sliding scale for out of pocket payers.

It really helped me but not the silver bullet, of course. There is no silver bullet, right?