Alone and Confused

[Bray1567]

I never feel like I have anyone in my life that cares about me the way I do them. I don’t expect much of people but unfortunately whenever I get hope that someone actually cares they let me down. My boyfriend of 2 years told me last night dealing with me is becoming draining. I can say when I become depressed it really hits me hard and I can’t seem to find anyone patient enough to deal with me when I am like that. He gets angry or ignore me when I am like that. He said he just want to be friends now. I moved to another state so family and friends I have none here. I always feel so alone all the time. I’m confused about who I am and what I want for my life now. I can’t seem to exist without someone around. I don’t know how to live anymore. I thought I had two secured jobs but one let me go because they decided to just have me as temp and the other had a janky manager that got fired so all the people the manager hired including me was told we aren’t actually hired. So for three weeks I’ve been literally starving and walking to work because I have no money to feed myself and I have no money for bus fair. I thought my boyfriend would be sympathetic to me and help me in this time because it’s not like me to be this down on my luck but he just stayed away from me. Can someone be my friend or just a companion so I won’t be alone during this time in my life?

[Hidden]

I can be your friend. I listen very well

[Bray1567 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much, I’m literally crying my eyes out right now because I didn’t think anyone would read it and care but you came along and it makes me feel like I am being heard.

[Hidden in reply to Bray1567]

Trust me, I will always listen

[Hidden]

Hi! I am so sorry you feel alone, but I want you to know that you will never really be alone. I want you to know that God loves you so much and will always be there to hear you prayers. He will guide you through His path and put his hand on your shoulder. Remember that there are people who love and care for you. I hope you have an amazing day!

John 16:32

[Cunda]

[e-mail], let's link up and have fun

[Kona2020]

Hello. Coping with depression and anxiety, I feel like everyday is harder for me. The worst part is how people are quick to judge and share a negative thought- you're only being lazy, get up from that couch, work harder, it's only an idea in your head etc.. Believe me when I say that what hurts me the most is that people around me are so unsupportive and always saying things that bring me down. But I'm telling you what I really need others to tell me. It's OK to feel down. It's OK to have bad days. I keep attracting the same kind of shitty people around me. But deep in me I have hope that not everyone is like this. Just keep in mind that in order to move on you should say goodbye to all those "friends"/"family" that have convinced you that you're not strong enough. Because reaching out here for help means that you want to be helped and recognizing that, requires strength in itself.

[Bray1567 in reply to Kona2020]

Thank you, I really appreciate that.

[Kona2020 in reply to Bray1567]

I am very happy if I helped you even a little bit.

[emily200x]

I feel the same that I put in more effort and care about people and get nothing in return. Always here if you need to talk as there is no worse feeling than feeling like you have to do this on your own.

[KittenMittens22]

I too feel like I give more and no one truly understands me or loves me. All the people in life put their needs and themselves first.

How scary it must feel to be in a place alone with no friends or family around. Are you not able to move back closer to them?

I am here as well to be as helpful as I can. You can message me if you ever need to. At least here you know that we all understand and don’t think you are a burden or difficult.

[Seaside6]

Aw my heart goes out to you. He is not a good man if he treats you like this. He should be supporting you. My ex made my anxiety and depression worse because he was so nasty. I also feel alone and that nobody understands. I only have my dog. I hate having to go to work and leave her. I really hope that things get better for you. Will your family not help you with food?

[Storm74]

I have the same

Everytime i get close to someone they leave and act as if never existed

Its time to start doing things for me and if someone wants to join in the journey then there welcome

[Bread73baker]

(Hello to all. I'm new here, posted last night, have a bio, haven't had any replies, but wanted you all to know I've made a start on getting acquainted.) I was moved by how many replies to Bray said the same thing, about feeling we give more than we get from others. That's how I've felt for a long time, too. That's a topic for another conversation, though; right now I'd like to address Bray's distressing circumstances.

Bray, it does seem that you have a place to live and a small sum of money from a temporary job, right? So at least you're not out on the streets, and we here can rest easy about that. Are you in a town or a city with some social services, including rent support? Could you get food at a Food Pantry or something similar? Are there other job opportunities you can pursue?

As for social contacts: Are you inclined to join a church? If so, beyond attending Sunday services, are there small groups within the congregation that would welcome you? If church isn't for you, how about MeetUp groups in your area? From what I've seen of them online, there seems to be a group for just about anything that could interest a person. Walking or hiking groups offer a relaxing -- and cheap! -- way to get to know people.

Another way to meet like-minded people is to join a volunteer organization. I know that probably sounds counterproductive when you need income, but I've found that helping others does get me out of my head and makes me see what's GOOD about my own life. Consider, too, that volunteers in social service groups are usually very caring individuals. Not that you would immediately want to dump all your problems on them, but you might find that as you give a little care, you'll get back a lot of compassion. For me, it's still the case that I don't say much about my anxiety, my health condition, or other problems, so as not to drive people away, but I have met a few individuals who have shown enough compassion that I can keep going, not feeling that I'm totally alone.

I agree with Kona about its being OK to feel bad, and to have bad days. That's just the way it is for people like us. That's why I still have an old Teddy bear! He always understands me. But we still have to get out of bed in the morning and function in the outside world. It's hard, but we manage, some days better than others, some days not so well.