Depression sucks!!

[Trav4242]

Hi, I am new here and I have been sitting here for almost an hour trying to think of what to write. I hate feeling depressed almost everyday I worry about everything. I worry about mu aunt that has Parkinson's, I worry about my cousins that lost their son in a car accident almost a year ago, I worry about my parents because they are getting older, I worry about my brothers. I have always been like this but it has gotten worse since my health has gotten kind of bad. I have a bad spine and I have so many restrictions and I am in pain all of the time, I am in bed a lot. I lost my job, I had to sell my house, my truck and RV and move in with family. Everything I have worked for is pretty much gone in the blink of an eye. I am so tired of feeling down and hating myself that I don't want to feel like this any more. I am tired of it.

[Hidden]

First of all welcome. Second, we can all relate to that. If you need to talk we are all here

[Trav4242 in reply to Hidden]

Thank You

[Tashawillis17]

Yeah I worry bout children family and other things which are irrelevant that what got me in this state with all my problems and whenever something goes good I always look for something else I've had 3 breakdowns 2016 lucky to be here if it weren't for my children and stuff I'm at my lowest aswell now for last few months really can't cope myself it's hard but if you ever need chat

[Trav4242 in reply to Tashawillis17]

I am sorry to hear that. The same goes for you if you need to chat

[Tashawillis17]

Listen one day u will realise like I am starting to that worrying make u ill takes over your body like now I have ibs acid reflux might have an ulcer waiting on magic eye but who knows I'm worrying bout that loads making me ill but worrying bout silly things made me like this I am so gutted another thing I always help others. But can't help myself I wish I could go to sleep wake up care free Like most ppl I know maybe one day hey hahah

[Trav4242 in reply to Tashawillis17]

I also have acid reflux and had to get prescription meds to help with it. I know worrying about things you cant fix isnt worth worrying about and I try not too and I tell myself not too but I find myself doing it anyway. The thing I hate the most is how much I have change over the last 5 years because of this. I used to like to have people over to bbq, I was funny, I would talk to anyone, I was outgoing now I am the complete opposite. I dont want anything to do with anyone and I dont want to go anywhere. I think its getting worse.

[Tashawillis17 in reply to Trav4242]

So how long does a flair up last

[Ardraven]

Firstly as someone else who struggles with both mental health issues and spinal pain I empathise with your situation. There are days I'm sure I'd finally lose my mind if I didn't have my dog to keep me company but finding a few new people to talk to on here has helped a little and I hope it does for you too.

I liked the title of your post. There's an old Beavis and Butthead episode where the teacher tells them they can't say stuff sucks (so of course that's all they do for the rest of the class). Being depressed is a bit like that because you spend a lot of time thinking about how much stuff sucks but a lot of the time it can be difficult to talk to others about how much like that you feel. There's both a lack of understanding about how powerless to change the situation a deep depression can make you feel and a corresponding social pressure to play down just how bad you feel.

Sometimes it can be surprisingly helpful to get a bit of "Beavis and Butthead therapy " and just say stuff sucks! Or in other words have a vent and it's as a place to do that without being judged for it that this board excels amongst many others.

So welcome and I hope you feel at least a little better for the opportunity to say stuff sucks!

[Trav4242 in reply to Ardraven]

Thank you, It does make me a little better to know that I am not alone here

[Ardraven in reply to Trav4242]

You're welcome, glad to hear that since I know just how big a "little better " can be when you feel like this

[Tashawillis17 in reply to Ardraven]

Thanks x

[NWGal]

Remember 85% of worry is unfounded my friend. The only control you have is over you. With that said, I understand your back issue. I had my whole lower back replaced a couple of years ago and it changed my life. Sure I had to go through the insurance treatment game - 12 physical therapy visits, lose weight, quit smoking before having the surgery. I was on 3600 mg of Percocet a day and it still didn't help the pain. I was using a walker. It was so worth it! Depression makes it difficult to advocate for yourself - I get that. It comes down to whether depression has control over you or you over it.

[Tashawillis17 in reply to NWGal]

Yeah your right thank you x

[Tashawillis17]

Oh sorry to hear yeah tho you are all right bout wat your saying x

[pink318]

Hello,

Welcome to the forum! I’m very sorry to hear about your concerns.

I’m glad you reached out. You are not alone. We are here for each other. Continue to post and I hope it will help you to feel better as you share your feelings.

Praying for you for peace as you go through this tough time and you will get through this. Please keep us posted.

[Windyred]

Hey there! One thing that has worked for me is to set a small goal and achieve that. It might be texting a friend a funny meme to start a conversation. Or do the dishes. Or wash my clothes. Or connect on a group like this with other people. Accomplishing something, even something small helps me feel better about myself. And I would try not to look too much on the past. That’s a trap that I fall into sometimes which is dwelling on how I got somewhere instead of focusing on how to get out. Part of overcoming depression is taking captive our negative thoughts of helplessness and powerlessness. Those thoughts aren’t necessarily reality. Not sure any of this helps but it’s a few things that help me sometimes. Hope you feel better soon and this forum gives you some encouragement today!