Feeling Tired/Lost~ Anxiety, dissociation, depression

[Stargirl5]

I’ve been struggling with severe anxiety for a few years now that was fueled by a toxic friendship that left me with trauma. Things have gotten so much better with that friendship but now I’m just left with really bad anxiety, dissociation, and depression. I’ve been in a weird spiral where I’m just constantly bordering on panic attacks, so tense that my whole body hurts, and honestly feeling really disoriented as I’ve been feeling this way for a few years with only a few breaks from it. I’m on 40 mg of Cymbalta and just started taking 10 mgs of Hydroxocine for the anxiety specifically but am not seeing much change. I feel like I don’t know what to do. It’s affecting every part of my life and I just missed a test today due to it. I cant tell why Im feeling like this all of the time. Like is there something that my body is trying to tell me? Is there something that I could do to fix it? I’ve tried medication, excercise, meditation, etc and they help short term but whenever it gets actually bad I’m just stuck in it. Just feeling really tired of doing this over and over and hoping to hear that it does get better at some point?

[Ellamaye]

You are so young to have been struggling like this for years I'm so sorry you have had this to deal whith this at such a young age. Who is your support system? Do you still live at home with parents? I'm hoping you can ease your burden by sharing with those close to you.

[Stargirl5 in reply to Ellamaye]

I’m graduating highschool this year and was going to go to university but due to mental stuff am going to continue living at home/ going to community college. I’m super grateful to have a supportive family who know what’s going on. They’ve gotten exhausted of me tho and are tired of me not being my “normal” self so I’m trying to reach out to others that are having some similar stuff/ not make my family more tired of me. Thanks for listening and replying btw it means a lot.

[Ellamaye in reply to Stargirl5]

I really hope I didn't sound condescending in my reply to tell you to speak to family. I too joined HU to share with people who understand what I go through. Your actually right that people who love us get tired of hearing it mainly because they feel helpless and can't fix it for us I think x

[Stargirl5 in reply to Ellamaye]

You totally didn’t sound condescending at all, sorry if I came off that way either. I agree with you, absolutely though. It’s hard to watch ppl you care for have issues that you can’t do much for so I definitely empathize with that. I’m rlly grateful to have found this platform and for the kind words

[Beevee]

Hi Stargirl5. The more you try to get rid of anxiety/depression, the more it hangs around. It is only when you stop trying to feel better that the symptoms will gradually disappear.

It is your intense dislike of the symptoms that fuels the fire. If you learn to genuinely accept how you are feeling and let the symptoms be there without any resistance, recovery will follow.

[Stargirl5 in reply to Beevee]

This is exactly what i needed to hear, thank you. I think I definitely have had trouble accepting it and have kind of repressed it around everyone I know. But I will try and work on accepting it more and not trying to deny it bc I think ur rlly right. Thank you <3 I rlly appreciate ur advice and kind words.

[Beevee in reply to Stargirl5]

You're welcome.

I know that it is easier said than done but with practice in letting it all go [the scary thoughts and feelings], it does get easier.

Look at it this way. Those thoughts and feelings are trying to escape and how recovery works. The more you let that happen unhindered, the more you will recover. It won't happen overnight andcthere will be setbacks but accept it all willingly.

If you would like to learn more about why you are still feeling anxious and depressed after your stressful experience and how acceptance creates the time and space for recovery to take place, look up Dr Claire Weekes.

I recovered by following her teachings. You can too. ❤️

[Stargirl5 in reply to Beevee]

Thank you so much for this reply. I will for sure check out Claire Weekes and learn how to better accept this all. And just thank you, I rlly appreciate this message

[Disneyspaz]

My dr told me that if u suffer from anxiety for so long that it can literally damage nerves throughout ur body and that I takes years to reset. I started sleeping with a weighted blanket to help my nerves relax at night. I've heard gabapentin helps too. I haven't tried that yet. But it's in the plans. Talking to family always helps but it's sometimes hard. You feel like you are a burden to them. But in all reality we aren't. It's our brains telling us otherwise unfortunately. Do you have activities that you enjoy doing with friends or family. Maybe start doing that more.

[Stargirl5]

I didn’t know that, thank you it makes me feel less crazy for sure. I actually just got a weighted blanket and rlly love it. I rlly appreciate your advice, and I hope that gabapentine helps with your anxiety. I might be trying it too, so we got this 🫶 Thank you though, it’s nice to hear that there are other ppl who kind of get what’s going on in my head anxiety wise.

[Disneyspaz in reply to Stargirl5]

I hope the weighted blanket helps. Its helped me sleep at night until I get too got and throw it lol. We are all in the same boat with anxiety and im so glad we can all be here for eachother. It makes us feel just a little less crazy.

[Stargirl5 in reply to Disneyspaz]

Yesss- I like it when I’m awake and anxious for sure. I also love laying in the sun when I feel anxious or looking at clouds and just closing my eyes.

[Disneyspaz in reply to Stargirl5]

Yesssss... in the sun is the best calmer ever.

[Kinlay]

How long have you been on the Cymbalta? I have experienced dissociation as a side effect of antidepressants, so I can't help wondering if it could be causing this? And if it isn't causing it, it clearly isn't working for you, so I would ask your doctor about changing to a different med instead rather than simply adding on. My doctors kept trying to add meds that just made things worse, until I insisted on simply adjusting my primary medication. I still have some anxiety issues, but I am fully functional and have my depression under control, which is a win for me at this point.

[Stargirl5]

I’m so happy for you that you’ve been able to find something that gives you peace with depression. Ive been on Cymbalta since September, so around 7 months, and now that I’m saying that I’m realized wow, its been like half a year! I probably should consider making a change, i wasn’t sure if that was just how long it takes for everyone? Having the dissociation could for sure be a side effect or at least made worse by the med, I had no idea that they could do that. I’ve experienced it while on other antidepressants but also whilst I was off of them. And thanks so much for the reply