Who can I trust when I am depressed?

[Mrspjsmom]

Not sure if I can put this into words in a way that describes it right but will try. Just curious if anyone else has issues with who they can trust when they are having a rough time with depression and anxiety. I often find myself not talking to people when I'm down about anything. Don't trust them or myself. As a result I keep my thoughts and feelings to myself and my migraines and fibromyalgia pain get much worse. Is this common? If so any suggestions to deal with it would be appreciated.

[All_alone]

I tend not to trust much when I'm not depressed, however depression and anxiety makes trusting even harder for me. Depression and the way it twists my thinking stinks!!!

[Mrspjsmom in reply to All_alone]

I am careful who I trust too. I have been hurt and ridiculed too many times. Right now my support system has fallen apart because of serious health issues so I am lost. But I have to believe it will get better. A bit of hope goes a long way. Thanks for replying. HUGS!

[BonnieSue]

I'm sorry that you're having so much difficulty. I understand about the depression & anxiety and isolating more when it's worse. It seems logical to me because you aren't up to being social and conversing nearly as much as when you feel much better. Sick people tend to stay home more, cancel appointments more, and generally keep a low profile more so than healthy people. And you're sick when your disorders and diseases are flaring...nevermind that they are called "depression & anxiety"...they're illnesses as serious as any other and a lot more serious than most.

I also have had fibromyalgia and migraine pain so my heart goes out to you. Is it possible for you to get a deep neuromuscular massage when the fibro is bad? Actually, it helps to get that massage regularly and that means maintaining your good health when your pain is less, going regularly for that massage so you aren't keeping muscles and tendons tied up in knots for months on end. One thing is necessary: on the day of massage, try not to do a lot of demanding or stressful activities because you'll just undo the work of the masseuse. You'll tighten up in the patterns your body has accustomed itself to.

A free alternative: I use things in my home to massage against to ease the worst of my pain until I can get to a massage. Doorway frames and some furniture arms and bed bolsters are handy for this. I am not unique, other people are known for doing this, also. But you must know something about how muscles are structured and the right moves and places to put pressure if you're doing it yourself at home. You want relief, not further injury. I learned what to do by paying attention and asking questions of my masseuse. Buying mechanical massage assisters never seemed much good to me.

I hope you get relief somehow. Take care...

Hugs, Love, and Blessings...

[BonnieSue]

Hi, I forgot something...when I'm writing a lot and at the computer for other reasons in addition, I find I tighten up and get pain from this. You might observe yourself and see if your writing is adding to your pain. Then you could cut back when needed. And I also don't trust all people to know WHY I'm not feeling well, I can't tell just anybody that it's my depression or anxiety flaring or dragging me down. I'm careful who I say what to. Take care...

[Mrspjsmom in reply to BonnieSue]

Thank you for all the helpful suggestions. I have a lot of massages "banked". Joined a club where they do an auto withdrawal every month for a 50 minute massage. I save money that way but have a terrible habit of banking my sessions and trading them in for gift certificates especially during the holiday season. I already get BOTOX injections for my migraines but it hasn't stopped them entirely. Later today I think I will make a massage appointment for a double session. I can start with that and hope for the best. HUGS!

[BonnieSue in reply to Mrspjsmom]

Fantastic! A double session sounds wonderful! ...and just right. I hope you enjoy it, or, at least enjoy the results of it.

[Dolphin14]

I have a few people I will share my feelings with. I don't open up to everyone. Some people I protect from my feelings ( my family), some people just have absolutely no clue and would prefer to talk about themselves.

I have a few " go to " friends. They know my story and offer good advice. They are also honest. They don't pamper me if the situation warrants " tough love". I appreciate their honesty and support.

I also have a few friends who have " walked this walk" so they understand completely. I rely on their knowledge to get me through.

When I'm going through something I know exactly who I need to reach out to. That's the good part. I know when I need " warm fuzzy" and I know when I need a reality slap.

[Mrspjsmom in reply to Dolphin14]

Thanks for responding. I have few people I can open up to but unfortunately one has been in the hospital since July and the other has isolated themself after a triple heart bypass and a series of related problems. My son is helpful but works two jobs and isn't available a lot. My husband and daughter are hit and miss. Sometimes they listen and are helpful and supportive, other times they go into nurse mode and ask me if I'm suicidal over the smallest thing. So I am very careful what I say. Feel like they aren't listening.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Mrspjsmom]

You are kind of stuck

A sick friend, a cardiac friend ( depression very common ) and your family who doesn't understand how we " got here"

Any support groups in your area. I was in a depression support group for a year. It really helped me in the beginning.

[Mrspjsmom in reply to Dolphin14]

Unfortunately none that I qualify for. Insurance issues, not depressed enough, haven't completed the right program and on and on. We have some very good mental health services here but just not enough for the people who need it.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Mrspjsmom]

That's too bad. So many budget cuts in the mental health system. This is not helping any of us.

[Mrspjsmom]

Thanks. I hope the calls come when you need them. HUGS!

[fauxartist]

for me ....not trusting everyone was more of an issue I was left with because of abuse....I learned at an early age not to trust people blindly.....but then I had to un-learn that and at least give people the benefit of the doubt, and get to know them first, and then decide whether I felt safe enough to open up to them a bit more. If you want to express yourself....this is an anonymous platform to do so.....you can talk about what you want to regarding your trust issues and not have to worry about it.

[Booklover0219]

I’m going through this exact same thing. I’ve been having a really hard time these past few months and I don’t trust other people or myself either at this point in time. I trust my H and I did finally find a counselor I trust and that’s it. I’m hoping that if I can work through my issues in counseling maybe I can reach a point that I trust myself. Maybe we have to trust ourselves first? Anxiety and depression really messes with our sense of reality.

[Mrspjsmom in reply to Booklover0219]

Working on trusting myself but sometimes I don't know if I will ever get there. Keep hoping though.

[JM1064]

I understand the feeling. Sometimes, the safest place I feel is in a professional counseling setting. I used to think this was offensive to my friends and family, but sometimes talking to a stranger that wants to help and is legally bound to keep your information private reigns the top best idea. And that is ok. I also rest assured that counselors have chosen their career field because they WANT to listen and they WANT to help. My dad has been a mental health counselor his entire life and reminds me of this daily. And until you seek counseling, remember that you have all of us. It feels safe for me knowing I can privately post at any time on here and people respond simply because they understand and care.

[Mrspjsmom in reply to JM1064]

I have wonderful therapist so I feel very lucky.

[Sabio77]

mrspjsmom, you are not alone. it is hard to open up when experiencing a difficult moment of anxiety and depression. I too have it and try to find positive things to think about and do to counter it. have you tried to share with a therapist. they can give you great insight. now the migraines and fibromyalgia naturally will have increased pain since you said you tend to keep it inside. I understand that vicious cycle. try to find a way to vent to a trained professional. and you can talk to us here. hugs of encouragement.