Depression seems to always return to me.

[baritonesaxophone]

Who is an only child? Me.

What have you lost in life? My mom, she was the only person I truly loved. I also lost people as I grew older. My mom was the reason I had friends and relatives in the first place. She was encouraging, supportive, and gave me a reason to dream.

What do you have left? My dad, someone who can't empathize with me. From Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, I have the basic needs but no psychological needs or self-fulfillment needs.

How lonely are you? very socially isolated . I go to community college but it's tough to make friends. I make acquaintances, but never anyone permanent. I can't connect with anyone.

What obstacles block you? For one, I got a rare skin disease 5 years ago. It's called prurigo nodularis and it ruined my life in the past. It made my entire skin itch and caused me to bleed. I solved this problem, just 4 months ago when i went to a clinical trial to get a non-FDA approved experimental drug. It worked well with me but left me with visible scars on my body.

I feel socially isolated. It's not that I am alone, but I can't make friends because i seem to be depressed. Depression hasn't stopped me from going to school but it is ruining me as a person. I'm trying to get antidepressants by myself to maybe cope with it..

[Daisymom]

Hello saxophone! Many people here have felt the same way you do… This is a long list of things you don’t have… What do you have that you’re grateful for? Often that is the key

[Rick1on1 in reply to Daisymom]

I would also add that having a goal and taking steps towards achieving it can help with leading a more fulfilled life

[dontknow26]

You are not alone! So many of us feel just like you. I promise 💕

[IloveMary]

I know how you feel but I still have my mom but I don't have my dad and I miss him so much.I don't want to tell you what to do but some times it helps to take some time for your self and what I mean is do something nice for your self some times I find my self that I need to go by my self and do something alone that I would have done if my dad was here with him so maybe you can do that for your self...I hope the best for you and always take care of number 1 and that is you your self because you are important ....

[20Voices]

I agree with the comments you have already had.

What are you grateful for.

Having goals to work to does help.

I keep a journal as I found that helps. I always write 3 things that I am grateful for at the end of each entry.

I also changed my outlook on life so that I remember the good times and even some of the bad times because they have made me who I am. I've spent time learning to let go of events that have hurt me and to look forward to tomorrow. I now view my life as a journey and any anxiety or depressive states I go through are now a detour on that journey. If they affect the goals I have set then I just adjust the goal or the timing.

I didn't wait for help to come to me I went looking for it. I've read a lot, tried a lot of techniques all on a very tight budget and although I hate it I am still taking my antidepressant although I am now just on one tablet now and have that at a lowish dosage as well.

When I was your age I hadn't had many friends and was quite shy. I worried about not having friends and the lack of boyfriends I had had compared to my younger outing sister and my friends. When I decided to just enjoy myself, my work and my hobbies that was when I made friends and started dating.

I have learnt from my recent breakdown that just being yourself and learning who you are helps you to build you confidence and you will make friends.

Look after yourself and take care.

[Ollyvie]

Hello baritonesaxophon, you are a true survivor and you sure do got what it takes to push though your challenges in life. Am sorry to hear of all that you have been through and what you have to overcome in life. I like the statement that “Depression hasn't stopped me from going to school” you see the overcomer you are? I know that sometimes it doesn’t feel like it when we are overwhelmed but give up hope. On the brighter side that the skin disease has been solved. It may take a while, but you will get use to it. I also have scars that remind me every day of what I have been through. I know one can lose their confidence through that, but you are not defined by your scars. Who you are is this strong and precious person. For me I will rather wait for people who want to be friends with me for what the see within me rather than my appearance. Sometimes we also have to open up for people to reach us too. Its may be difficult to start but you can also give it a try. I have also lost both parents and feel alone sometimes but than God my faith has helped me a lot. When I feel alone, I call for the loving arms of God to wrap around my neck and the love of God has always given me comfort in my lonely moment. You are not alone dear. Keep hope alive. Sending you love and hugs. Have a blessed week. You can reach out when you want to chat. Check this out and I think you might find it helpful bit.ly/2MSyxA0 . Sending hugs and love your way.