Giving up

[huskymom24]

Here lately I have fallen back into my depression really hard. I keep having this feeling that I just give up and don't want to be here anymore. But I'm not "suicidal". I don't think of harming myself or trying to die, but I just don't want to be here. I don't want to go anywhere, be home, or be around. I've never experienced this in my depression before and I'm not sure how to stop having this "give up" mentality.

[Templar73]

That is it..I lost interest in everything.. No desire to do or be with anyone. Have you tried looking back over earlier memories?

[huskymom24 in reply to Templar73]

Yes. I look at older pics of when I was happy or things that bring happiness and good memories but it seems to make me feel a little worse because im not sure what happened to make me feel so different about life.

[Caseopia]

Wow I say this out loud daily. And I always have to follow with “not suicidal” to make myself clear. I just don’t want to exist. I’m glad I’m not alone tho I wish you didn’t have to feel this way. It’s scary and painful emotionally.

[huskymom24 in reply to Caseopia]

It is scary. It's good to not feel alone as well. Sadly no one seems to understand it. If I try to explain, they instantly think I'm suicidal but I'm not. I have no plans on leaving this earth but I just wish I wasn't here at times

[Caseopia in reply to huskymom24]

Exactly. No one understands except those of us who have experienced it. My family automatically wants to admit me to another psychiatric hospital if I verbalize how I feel so I hold all of my feelings in most of the time which can be even more detrimental

[huskymom24 in reply to Caseopia]

I'm sorry you have to go through that. I can't even talk to my family because my family never shares problems so I'm too scared to try and talk about it.

[Pakboong in reply to Caseopia]

Please count me in... I don't want to exist...

[Shutterbug65]

Oh man I know how you feel. The feeling of just not wanting to fight it anymore. I know it’s tuff, that’s what depression does it feeds us with so many lies, makes us feel worthless and alone. But you are not beholden to your depression, this is not who you are. Just take small steps today, do something that you enjoy, anything.

Reaching out here is a great start. You are a worthy person, you matter. Eventually you’ll get through this.

[huskymom24 in reply to Shutterbug65]

Thank you! I'm happy that I found this app and can have a support group and people to talk to.

[Kainan]

No, don't give up. You are still here. Your being is still very much alive and here among your loved ones, and that is what matters. Depression is all bark, and none of the bite; it may try to get your attention by tricking you and feeding you all those lies, but you can choose to rise above. They are not you; they don't define you in any way. They are illusions. You are much deeper than that; your being is so much brighter

[huskymom24 in reply to Kainan]

Thank you!!

[Hidden]

Hi Husky,

I've been there. I think it's just tired of being tired. Tired of feeling you have to live up to whatever some other person tells you, and them not accepting when you think, say or do otherwise. I recently admitted to myself that depression is just a part of me and I'm going to be down in the damn dumps for a bit. It could be a day a week, and in all honesty sometimes more (that was in the past). I think the key is to start being brave and completely transparent with yourself first and foremost. My kids were worried for me when I started being honest with them, but when I told them it was like the phases of the moon, they kind of got it. The freakin moon doesn't empty and fill overnight. Give it a minute for crying out loud. That thought of how my depression works helped me too. Maybe that visual might help you as well. Hang in there Huskygirl you got back up here (btw we are a four husky household 0_0) lol With Love Always...AU

[huskymom24 in reply to Hidden]

I like that comparison. I never thought of the moon like that. Thank you!! My husky has been through so much this year and I think now that he is finally healing, it's all hitting me of everything else going on in my life. I finally have time to think about myself instead of my pup

[Hidden in reply to huskymom24]

Oh, I'm sorry your pup hasn't been well. I'm glad that it's finally leveling off for you. I totally understand having to care for the ailing. I'm also glad that you know to use this lul to care for little huskymom lol I have to give myself the opportunity to see myself as a little kid so I treat myself with a little more tenderness. I hope you do the same. You sound like a caring person. I send you positive vibes mama! Please know you have support here WLA...AU

[huskymom24 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you

[pink318]

Hello huskymom,

I’m very sorry that you are dealing with these emotions. You are not alone, we are here for you. I’m glad you found this group. I hope you will stay and you will find the support you need to stay well.

Please don’t give up. Praying for you for peace and you will get through this difficulty. God bless.

[huskymom24 in reply to pink318]

Thank you. I'm glad I found this group as well