Giving up

[Tiredofitall1975]

So tired of this world. I dont have the strength to just end.. I want to but cant. Life is not fun and im alone most if the time which definitel doesnt help. Why cant i get cancer or just die in my sleep... I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist and will be seeing a therapist and all of it is just a money making scheme. They do not give a shit about you. I tried finding a support group but again everybody wants money. It’s not like the movies where you walk into a group and sit down and telling everyone about their problems. At least not here. It would definitely help I know it would but there is no where to go to

[kenster1]

hi im sorry for your lives struggles at the moment.it will end you just need to hang on in there and going forward.trust me you don't want cancer my dad had cancer and it was heartbreaking for him and us watching him fade away.keep at your doctor to get you support never give up.we all go through difficult times I guess that's what makes us stronger in the end.

[b1b1b1]

Kenster is right. You don't want cancer. Many people who have cancer would probably be happy to trade places with you. Psychiatrists and therapists are not a "money making scheme." Most choose that career because they want to help people. There are certainly many more lucrative careers. Keep in mind that it can take quite a while (months to years) for therapy to work and also that the patient must put in a great deal of effort in order to change.

[Tiredofitall1975]

I need to elaborate. I also come from a family of low mortality, cancer, and mental illness. I know cancer is horrible but at least making the decision to give up would be made for me as i would bot seek chemo or help. Also, to those who think im just in a rut.. well im not. My whole life has been a sham. I have kept my head up through most of it but now I have run out of steam, health, and supporting. Shit, if the Robin Williams and Bourdains of the world cant d it then who the hell am I

[bw333 in reply to Tiredofitall1975]

U r somebody special n we need U here!

[MariaLove123]

Honestly, I used to feel that way. I’d tell my sister how I wish I got cancer or something terminal. My very close friend committed suicide last year and I saw what it did to her family, so I didn’t want to do that to my family. And the reason I stopped wishing to die is because my cousins dad got cancer and it wasn’t supposed to be bad, but within a month he passed away. I was so sad for her and her mom. And I asked myself “if I really got sick wouldn’t I be so scared of actually dying?” My answer was yes. If it came down to it, I truly believe most people would wish it wasn’t going to happen. Life is hard but there’s so much to it. We have an illness. It’s challenging. But it doesn’t mean we have to hate life. We are worth it. We deserve to be happy like everyone else. I know you’ve had a tough time. But you definitely need to find help and you know that, which is a huge step. Try googling outpatient therapy. Most hospitals have them. Would you do inpatient? I did that and it was so good to be in a safe place getting the help I needed. Maybe call the hotline and see if they can find you a support group. Are you on medication? That can be playing into it too. I want to go on and on but I feel bad. I just don’t want you to wish death. I want you to get help. If you ever want to talk feel free to message me or talk on here! We love you. We are here for you ❤️

[Tiredofitall1975 in reply to MariaLove123]

Thanks Maria. Im not there yet and I have been trying. I dont want to give a cliche answer but I will give it a little more time. Besides, I dont have the courage to strangle myself or cut my wrists........yet

[MariaLove123 in reply to Tiredofitall1975]

Hey there I’m just checking in on you. How are you feeling? ❤️

[Tiredofitall1975]

So much gets lost in context. I was not copping an attitude it’s just the way I state things in writing. The The context was supposed to be more ho-hum than attitude. Another reason why I’d rather be dead is all this fucking technology. Now that is copping an attitude LOL but really no LOL

[rach1402 in reply to Tiredofitall1975]

I hear you about the technology, it makes our relationships less human, but it has it's uses. For example you wouldn't be able to reach out to all of us from around the globe (I'm in the UK) and hear so many points of view. We've all got our own issues here so that doesn't help with the misinterpretation. If you don't like what people have to say you don't have to acknowledge their response, that's another good thing about this kind of group, you wouldn't be able to just walk away mid conversation if someone was giving you advice you don't like face to face! If you put something like that out there you will get all kinds of responses from all kinds of people. When you use cancer as an example it's a very emotive issue and some people will react angrily or not understand. I'm not suggesting you shouldn't express how you feel but prepare yourself for some strongly worded replies if you say something like that, it's affected most people either directly or indirectly. I know what it's like to be suicidal, I was the same about 9 months ago but the thought of doing that to my kids stopped me and I'm so glad it did now. Life's hard and it's harder for some than others, especially those of us who went through a lot as children, but no matter what has happened in the past, we can change the course of the future, to some extent at least. I'm not qualified to tell you what will help you but sertraline works for my anxiety really well. Unfortunately not so much my depression but I find it easier to let things go and don't go over things in my head as much. My pets help me tremendously, I've got a lot of cute cuddly pets and they're such a comfort to me. Maybe that's worth a try or maybe try a few other things that you might enjoy, painting, baking, helping vulnerable people in your local community. These things may or may not help any one individual but try something that appeals to you, preferably outside of your comfort zone, with an open mind. You might surprise yourself. Good luck, I hope you find something that helps you x

[hypercat54]

Sorry but using foul language isn't allowed on here so can you please edit it out. Thank you.

[rach1402 in reply to hypercat54]

Yes someone might take offence and you could get into trouble, which would leave you without the valuable support that people are trying to help you with.

[bw333]

Try to be kind n supportive. A lot of us r not in a good place. U want to help not hurt.

[bw333]

Try to be kind n supportive. A lot of us r not in a good place.

[Georgia333]

Dear Tired,I am 53.I first got depressed when I was 22.I have been hospitolalized about 10 times since then.I have been through so many days months years where it took a huge effort to make it through the day.Hopelessness,self hatred,extreme dysfunction.3 suicide attempts.One thing that helped me get through it was going to Al -Anon meetings.I even would go to A.A. meetings even though I've never been a drinker,but I wouldn't talk there.It was very comforting to be around other real live people who were struggling too.Now that I am older I am way happier,something that I never saw coming.I really believe that depression has a purpose-maybe to help you keep trying for a better life.Karla Maclaren writes a lot about the "gifts of depression".Maybe you could look her up.I do yoga most days and meditate and I think that has helped.Meditation I see as helping to teach you to really appreciate being in the moment,not the past or future where things suck.I hope I'm not preaching these are just some things that have helped me.I watch videos by Ekhart Tolle,Byron Katie and Rupert Spira(he's a little hard to understand but I keep at it).Would you ever go to an A.A. meeting?They are free.If they are designated Open ,like most of them are it means anyone can go.Ive found lots of people at al-anon meetings don't have anybody in their lives who is a drinker,they are just attracted to the community and the lessons of positivity.Unfortunately there is like 1 al-anon meeting for every 200 A.A. meetings.Ive read A lot lately about how people get happier as they get older and so far that definitely seems to be happening to me.So stick around,we need you.

[IChoose]

First of all, how are you, and are you feeling any better today? Sometimes it just feels great to know that you were heard and taken seriously in the pain you are in.

Did you know that the will to live within people is most powerful. You have it, and it is part of what is keeping you going right now.

Depression can have a component called anhedonia where we lose all sense of joy in things we used to enjoy. I was diagnosed with anhedonia last year as well as depression.

I got an amazing job that took me completely out of my rut for a little while and my depression vanished - I'm totally serious. If you feel your life is in a miserable rut going nowhere, try to experience safe new things - like music, the park, an exercise program, etc. Even 20 minutes of very brisk power walking will get those feel good endorphins going. Add music with earphones and you're in a different place.

Really, I agree a lot of shrinks don't do us much good or seem to care, but they do tell us that what we're feeling now isn't our normal state, or our best self.

I promise you, you can come to love life so much, quite as suddenly as your depression happened, you'll start eating healthier so be sure you stick around.

Keep us posted on how things are going with you. Much love and hugs to you!!

[Tiredofitall1975 in reply to IChoose]

Thank you IChoose

[Ironj]

I have depression and anxiety it sucks but what sucks worse then that is my Cancer diagnosis 5 months ago. I wish you the best and hope you get the right therapist and maybe medication to cope. Best wishes

[Jimdubu]

I am sorry you are going through this. depression and anxiety can wreak havoc on us. Do you have any friends or siblings you can talk to? If you don't have anyone yo talk to and find yourself in crisis you can use the crisis Text Line at 741741 and a professional will text you back. If you feel like harming yourself please call 911 or National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255, If you need someone to talk to here is a number for some caring people that can give you free counselling advise and can even refer you to counselors in your area FOTF Counseling Line 1-855-382-5433. Just remember they"re are people out there that care about you. God created you and you are special, and don"t let anyone tell you any different, including yourself. I ill be praying for you.