giving up

[Aternumvale]

I want to give up. I want to believe that ill go back to being happy. Since my father passed I find it hard to be happy anymore. Its been 12 years and still I fall apart telling the story of what happened that night. then I get fired from my job, I mess up in school, everyone graduates while I'm stuck taking classes again. I feel nothing anymore, not even the urge to play my guitar or go to the gym or even go for a walk... I'm tired and all I can think of is where would a nice spot be to sit and bleed out? there is a nice spot out on our country that I picked out but I keep hanging on for the happiness.

[Hidden]

I’m so sorry you are feeling this way! You are entirely depressed. Have you seen a doctor or therapist? Medication can definitely help some of this. Grief counseling or a grief support group would really help you as well. Keep reaching out, this is a time of transformation

[omnia92]

May be I am not the best one to help as I am stuck myself in depression and suicidal thoughts, but I remind myself of possibility of more happy times, meeting people that would make waiting for them worth the struggle, just don’t give up

[Hidden]

Hi there hope you feel better soon, my father died about 25 years ago and I still feel sad as never got to sort any issues out. He remarried and went to live in France so did not see him again after that, he was abusive in many ways so perhaps that was for the best anyway, but regardless death of a parent can take its toll, hope something good comes your ways soon. I suffer anxiety and depression but find joy in my 2 sons and have a grandchild on the way, there will be something for you to look forward to soon I am sure of it, take care

[Hidden]

Sorry to hear you are so sad, hope school gets better and you gain some confidence soon.

[Arniestal]

12 years! That's such a long time to feel like that, I lost my mum 23 months ago and I feel very similar to you. I wonder if our brain gets stuck in that groove of feeling like that, that's probably where medication comes in to get your brain out of that deep rut you are in. All my motivation has gone, but Friday I'm going to gym don't know what will happen but I've taken first step to joining. You need to do something otherwise you will never get out of it. Best wishes.

[suzzze]

Hang in there

[Oneseedatatime]

There is a time for everything so I will say to you to please try not to worry about what others are doing or think. You need time to get into counseling and process the loss. Perhaps even learn, process, and accept the finite reality of life which is not easy. I think that to understand that we must understand what the purpose of life is to begin with.

I empathize with your loss and by the way your post reads I am going to assume he was such a good father. Can you think of how he felt about you? What he hoped and dreamed for you? How did he console you when you were upset? How would he console you if he were here now? What would he say to everything you have stated in your post?

That happiness you mention is available to you! Would you mind sharing what that happiness in your head would look like?