Hi, My name is Patty. I'm 60 years old, and I just can't get used to the sound of that number!! Anyway, I have been married for 29 years to a great guy and we have 2 grown sons. Sounds like I'm happy and I am,I just wish I could FEEL the happiness. Can anyone relate to that feeling of being numb? I have fought major depression and anxiety since I was 21. I've been hospitalized many times and attempted suicide several times. I've tried every psychotropic med there is I think and have had ECT treatments twice. I married at 31, had 2 beautiful sons and managed to escape any major episodes for well over 25 years. Then in 2012 after several very stressful years WHAM, I had an episode that put me back in the hospital and another course of ECT. I was devastated! Why after so many good years did this have to happen again?Well. it took me a long time to really admit that I have a mental illness and that I can choose to deal with it by continuing to get help or I can give up!
Honestly sometimes I do want to give up but I have always maintained a hope. Maybe things can get better,just maybe a new treatment will become available that will help more than the previous treatment. I just have this hope, that with God's help something might change, so I will never give up. Maybe someday I can really FEEL happy! Thanks for listening