I am not ok

[Starrlight]

I am barely here. My mind is becoming very hard to use. I’m scared. I am going off four things at s time and it’s making me feel a bit crazy. I feel like I’m dying. I called my doctor asking if I can go back to 20 mg Zyprexa if that might help? Waiting on his call. I cant get out I can’t drive I feel like I’m barely functioning. This is brining back memories of the past troubles, I seemed always troubled. Now here I am. I’m not well. I reach out. I try. I hope I can keep up with life.

[Florida1959]

Sweetheart can I do anything, sending you healing vibes right now xxxx

[Starrlight in reply to Florida1959]

Just you being here and being kind bearing healthy vibes is perfect.

[Florida1959 in reply to Starrlight]

Love you, you

are one of the reasons I stay on here, xxxxx

[Starrlight in reply to Florida1959]

Thank you 🙏 😊 ❤️ love backatchya

[Florida1959 in reply to Starrlight]

Hugs 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

[Starrlight in reply to Florida1959]

Thanks

[Tealribbon]

Starlight, sometimes getting off of medication too quickly can cause those side effects. And it is a scary feeling. It's probably a good idea to not drive for a bit. U r not crazy and yes u r trying hard. It will pay off.

[Starrlight in reply to Tealribbon]

Thanks very helpful.

[Starrlight in reply to Tealribbon]

I am on 15 mg now so if I go back to 20 I wonder if I will feel better. I just drank a beer, feeling guilty but I just can’t take all of this you know? I just wish I knew when ... what if I never improve? What if this is it?

[Tealribbon in reply to Starrlight]

U mentioned u were getting off of 4 different meds so it would be hard to know which one caused it. Or it could be a combination of all at once.

Try to remember that anxiety is a liar. Your anxiety is high right now so the "what if" box is wide open. U r not crazy. U r hurting. This won't fix anything but being hydrated is soooo important. I know that sounds silly when u want to jump out of your skin

[Starrlight in reply to Tealribbon]

Yup. Thanks.

[Starrlight in reply to Tealribbon]

I’m just going to do what I need to do. I’ll plough through this mess shinning at the end of the difficulty

[Tealribbon in reply to Starrlight]

Thus your name starrlight....

I wish the emotional muscles we build could show like body muscles!!

[Starrlight in reply to Tealribbon]

God I hope all it is is me having to get back on 20 mg of Zyprexa I feel paranoid and I can’t think straight, forgetting a lot scared feelings

[Tealribbon in reply to Starrlight]

Just checking in with you. Have things calmed Down any?

[Starrlight in reply to Tealribbon]

Hey I slept through the night and I feel so-so. Things are pointing in the right direction.

[Tealribbon in reply to Starrlight]

Sleeping through the night is a great thing. I know yesterday was hard. I thought about you first thing this morning. Have you ever read about Passion flower?

[Starrlight in reply to Tealribbon]

Oh wow thank you for thinking of me. I am actually taking passionflower and kava I’m not sure since not approved by the FDA but seems to work for me but I’ve been taking a lot I need to be careful I think. You take passionflower? You feel it working right away, right?

[Tealribbon in reply to Starrlight]

I just started taking it for anxiety and sleep. And like you I am cautious because it's not FDA approved. But I so needed something. It does work for me. I took Benadryl for a few months but that's not a good idea. I wake with high anxiety in the mornings so I keep one by the bed to take immediately. I noticed on a post on your link folks talking about "Calm" so I ordered it.

I just HATE not thinking clearly because of anxiety

[Hidden]

I'm coming off medication too. The anxiety is so bad constantly I think I'm crawling out of my skin and dying. Crazy thoughts are running through my head and I can't trust my own mind. I can't work, drive, or even go out right now. Coming of anxiety medication sucks lol. But I'm right here with you.

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

(((((((((Someone5673))))))))))) I’m sorry you are going through it. But nice that you replied and I feel less alone in it, thank you. It will get easier. How long have you been off? What medication?

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

about a week, off abilify and effexor and weaning off xanax.

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Well how are you feeling now, I hope even just at least a little better than yesterday? What made you decide to go off of them? For me the benzos are not good and the Zyprexa since I have been on it since 2012 I wasn’t sure what it was doing or not doing but it was a mistake.

[katherineo64]

Coming off meds would make you feel like this. Withdrawals. Hope you feel better soon. 💕Take Care

[Starrlight in reply to katherineo64]

Thank you.

[Dolphin14]

Must be such an awful feeling. I've come off meds but one at a time. Are you doing multiple meds at once? Or do you mean generally speaking you are weaning off a few but one at a time?

You will get through this. Just hang tight. Keep reaching out to the community for support.

Are you eating and drinking plenty of water?

You have the strength in you to get through this. Sometimes it's hard to believe that. But, you can do this.

[JEG325 in reply to Dolphin14]

Thank you for 'liking' a lot of my replies lately. I appreciate that. I usually keep late hours and I have a hard time finding anyone to chat with at this time of night. So if you ever do want to talk overnight EST time, I am usually around, especially between 4am EST & 7am EST. I've noted all the nice, thoughtful replies you give out here on H/U too. Rest assured we/I appreciate this. Have a blessed night!

[Dolphin14 in reply to JEG325]

Thank you so much for your kind words.

I keep strange night hours. Sleeping has been a problem for years.

I'm going to pop back into bed.

But it's good to know you are awake at night. We will have to message each other.

I hope you get some sleep

[JEG325 in reply to Dolphin14]

Thank you! Sleep well!

[Starrlight in reply to Dolphin14]

So I’m stopping two as needed anxiety meds, benzos, and Zyprexa. And was trying to cut out alcohol too. Too much at once. Back on Zyprexa. Every little thing seems like a big deal. My head feels full, pressured.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Starrlight]

I'm so sorry. It's sounds like a lot at once.

Mayb too much?

Please take care of yourself.

[Starrlight in reply to Dolphin14]

Yeah it is a lot at once so I am only going off two now.

[JEG325]

S, it's hard for me to keep up with all of these posts but, I'm trying just for you.....Look, as much as it pains me to say this you need a doctor's help in getting off this stuff. I recommend a progressive doctor, one who specializes in supplements and medicine. They are uniquely qualified to help you. Short of my being there by your side to help you, it's the best I can offer. But, coming off 4 meds simultaneously is dangerous. Basically you have to treat yourself as if you were addicted to them and only wean yourself off slowly. For 4 drugs it could take several months to do this safely. I implore you to take it slow and carefully! Please? I am awfully worried about you, my extra awesome friend....

[Starrlight in reply to JEG325]

Oh I have my psychiatrist along with me. Don’t worry. Thanks for being here.

[cortisolqueen]

Every single thing you are feeling and every single thought you are having, I have felt and thought. You are NOT going crazy. This is just anxiety. It is very difficult to believe when you are at the point you are right now. I promise you can and will get through this. I just passed the 4 year mark on this journey. I am so much better now and you will get better also. I know how scared you are and the feeling that this will never end, that you will be like this forever. That is just anxiety lying to you. I would never believe anyone when they told me it was anxiety and I could get better, but they were right. Praying for you my friend.

[Starrlight in reply to cortisolqueen]

Thank you for the prayers. I also have bipolar so I’m scared that this will take me during a difficult time. I used to believe we were not given more than we could take. I think I’ve taken enough and I need to feel better. You know?

[cortisolqueen in reply to Starrlight]

absolutely! I have felt this way many many times during the last 4 years. My husband had to drive me every where when this all started. I wake up every morning with the fear and negative thoughts already running wild in my mind. I have such a compassion for anyone who is going through the same thing. I am here for you and I do truly understand what you are going through.

[Starrlight in reply to cortisolqueen]

I am on my way through it and each day I get closer to being more free. What helped you the most during those rough times?

[Megs64]

Can I help hun. Iv been down this rd myself ✝️❤️❤️

[Starrlight in reply to Megs64]

I’m just trying to feel like my head is straight. Feeling out of it. I can tell with each day things are getting better but I just need to keep in mind that I’m ok just going through this messiness with medication. I think I will need my husband for the driving for now.

[Believeinyourself123]

Sending you love sweet friend. Try to hold on. Hope is what helps me alrhough i cant see it its still there. Pm me if you need to chat or vent. Xo

[Starrlight in reply to Believeinyourself123]

Yes feeling the hope.

[Starrlight]

Yes holding on. Thanks I will pm you.

[Megs64 in reply to Starrlight]

Have u thought of going out for a little while in this lovely sunshine,iv been out today it lifts ur spirits,really, why not try, if only a walk around the block

[Starrlight in reply to Megs64]

Yeah I’m taking a walk soon, thanks

[Megs64]

One day at a time love, sending you the biggest of hugs xx❤️❤️

[Starrlight in reply to Megs64]

Thank you Megs

[Hidden]

This breaks my heart to read. I am so sorry you're dealing with this awful feeling. I haven't been on medication in a long time, but if you feel a higher dose may help, by all means take whatever it is that helps. In the meantime, we are all here for you. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. You're always welcome to message me. *hugs*

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

It is getting better. Day by day.

[Megs64]

It will get better but love. I felt crap yest.had loads of pain and tearful. But today iv been out and in my garden. Just try hun. If only for 10 minutes minutes

[Starrlight in reply to Megs64]

I will get out for a walk this afternoon. And I will make myself eat I’ve only had a very small portion of food each day since the med change. I must be loosing some weight.

[Megs64 in reply to Starrlight]

Keep up ur fluids too hun, it really is lovely today,my worst time is wintertime when it never gets light during the day,those days I do struggle, have u any hobbies things u enjoy doing?

[Starrlight in reply to Megs64]

I don’t really enjoy much these days but I do sometimes write. I also started a project to redo our garden area. It seems overwhelming right now though. I just did some meditating and it was good.