not a good day

[hlangdon]

UGH why is it that someone I talk to who has anxiety, depression and ptsd looking for me to help get them out of the depression on set that is coming on. I have my own anxiety and depression. I got her to come out of her shell by not staying in their room all the time but now wants me to do more. Sorry I cant do that. They wanted to do something else besides sitting around and talk like a walk but i walked almost a mile yesterday to do their food shopping and go back and get something for myself and also get a pack of cigs for someone else.

[Agora1]

hlangdon, your post is a good example in when we do something good for someone

but then it is not reciprocated. I remember you telling me about this lady and how

happy you were that there was someone you could share your journey with. Sounds

like now you are on the journey by yourself. I know you are a good person but don't

be taken advantage of. It will only bring back your anxiety 10 fold. First we must be

good to ourselves. We know where we have to draw the line if we start feeling

uncomfortable. Wish you well xx

[hlangdon in reply to Agora1]

thank you Agora. it just sucks that this keeps happening to me. I just don't want to be stuck by myself and stay away from people.

[Agora1 in reply to hlangdon]

I hear you hlangdon. xx

[Hidden]

I wouldn’t give up on helping her. Just do what you can. I found stepping out helping others helped lift my depression.

[BecR1025 in reply to Hidden]

Same. I enjoy helping others, unfortunately I cannot help myself. It's a vicious cycle. I can help get others out of the anxiety funk or panic attacks, but I cannot seem to get myself out of my own!

[Hidden in reply to BecR1025]

I found exposure works best for me. It’s how I overcame being agoraphobic for ten years. It took me ten years to learn that. So don’t get discouraged. You have to keep trying so you can learn what will work for you. Everyone is different. Be patient and kind with yourself.

[hypercat54]

I think this is the fear behind many peoples seemingly 'uncaring attitudes'. The worry that the sufferer will latch on to them as their only friend and end up being their sole support. Also some people take out their pain and anger on innocent people. x

[LiveandLetLive42]

Honestly, I know that’s such a pain in the ass, but sometimes helping someone does actually help yourself. Yes, your friend might be acting selfish (we all know how selfish this illness can be) but maybe use it to your advantage. You can still be honest with her though; especially about going for walks. Why does everyone want us to do that? I hate walks. I’ve never liked going for walks. So why would it help me now? Between my sister and dad always asking me, I’m like “that is not my thing!”

You’re a good friend for doing all of that support for her. Be proud of that. You can balance how much you do for each other. But remember, you helped someone when you were struggling yourself and that’s very hard to do. You sound like a good person 💜

[Sabio77]

hlangdon, I'm sorry that you are going thru such a difficult time. I can see how it would be hard to carry another person with depression and anxiety when you are experiencing it yourself. Have you or the person/people you are speaking of ever talked to a trained professional or trusted family member about your experience? You are not alone. many people go thru depression and anxiety. I have and overcome it. have you tried telling your friend(s) how you feel?