I’ve been debating on writing this because I just wanted to block it out and move on, plus it’s a long story and I’m scared I won’t get responses. I’ve been working at a place that helps people in need. I started back in April so I feel I got the lay of the land pretty well. Prior to this job, I was agoraphobic for 3+ years. I didn’t leave my house for weeks at a time, I rarely showered and hardly got off the couch. I have a strong background in my career and education so I figured this job would be good for me; a receptionist, light stress, helping people, part time, ect. Wow what a difference. After a little while, everyone in my life noticed the life come back in me. It felt good having structure and a schedule and of course PURPOSE. I was also going out more socially and taking care of myself health and beauty wise.
BUT, as the new person, people tend to treat you like an alien, like you’re not a human being. They get frustrated when you ask questions and you can feel them getting annoyed with you. Definitely raise your hand ✋🏼 if you understand what I’m talking about.
I learned very quickly though and once a week my supervisor would have a meeting with me on how I’m doing. She always expressed how well I’m doing and how quick I’m learning. But, I think it was intimidating or some sort of jealous stuff going on up front with a few elderly women who have been there for many years. And I get it!! But I wasn’t going to do a bad job to make them feel better. I also tend to be “overly” nice and bubbly to people because I want to be liked, I want them to trust me, I want them to know ME. I don’t know how to be mean! It’s been a huge issue my whole life. So this 73 year old woman that I worked mostly with, made work unbearable. She’d snap at me constantly; she would jump in the middle of me helping clients to add or correct my advice which was embarrassing and it was incredibly obvious that she wanted to be in control and do most of the work herself. Everyday, I came in with a smile, asked about her evening, tried doing small talk you know? Sometimes I’d bring in donuts, I even bought her this little get well bear when she got sick. I’d text her while she was out sick to see if she needed anything. I was pretty NICE! That’s just who I am!!
So, my wonderful fiancé booked a mini vacation for us since I was getting really upset after work about this hostile treatment. I come back all chippery and got called into the big bosses office where I honestly thought I was getting the job because I was still a temp but was terminated! Apparently she was told by another employee these lies about me! I was so blindsided. My boss literally said “you’re doing a really good job” before my trip. So one of the lies was that I go on my personal email and bank account at work. Who cares!! But I didn’t. I have my settings for most sites (even this one) where I literally cannot sign onto any other device besides my phone. If I were to try, I have it set up to lock me out and I’ll receive a phone call from the company. I asked for proof and tried explaining my accounts but the decision was final.
Obviously I know who told these wild stories and I’m so confused. I took a week to process everything because at first I wanted to file a grievance and hire a lawyer for wrongful termination, but I get tired easily and fall back easily so I gave my trust and faith into God. I feel like maybe my bad and good karma is finally evened out and I was given a stepping stone to see how I’d do. I believe there’s a better plan than this dinky job. Maybe I’m supposed to practice not being so nice right away. I just feel like this happened for a reason. I usually blame myself and feel I’m being punished but I did such a good job there. Clients would tell me how nice I am and how I help them so much. The other woman is SO cranky and unhappy. No matter how unhappy I am, I’d never treat someone like she treated me. And getting someone fired? I wouldn’t be able to live with myself! That’s awful.
You never know what someone is going through! And I trust karma will do its thing. I’m done being mad at everything that goes wrong and visualizing my revenge. I want to trust that bad things happen to teach us something and the next thing will be better.
I’m sorry this is so long. Any feedback or advice or EVEN comments on how wrong this is will help 💜 All my love you guys!
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LiveandLetLive42
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Thank you 😊 Sometimes we have to look deep within and see that we are above certain things like places, things and even people! We have mental illness but we’re not stupid. We can do great things too. And when something isn’t going well, it’s not always our fault. I’ve honestly never been this gentle on myself. I truly believe this happened for a reason
It helps to think it's just a job...its not your life and theres bigger and more important things. It helped me put it into perspective
Talk about a cranky mean old lady! This was obviously not your fault. I believe karma will do its business. Wasn't meant to be but maybe this can reach you that rewarding someone who is being nothing but rude and ungrateful with kindness is not always wise. Best wishes, Garfield ❤
The funny thing I have to share is when my Dad visited me at work. My Dad doesn’t have a mean bone in his body and he’s the nicest man. When I walked him out he said to me “That woman you work with seems very crabby.” Not only did it make me feel like I’m not exaggerating but that that karma will come to her. I may never know how or when, but I believe with 100% certainty that she will get it. And I normally try to play devils advocate or try to understand that maybe this person is just going through something. But, it was everyday and no one deserves that kind of treatment I endured. I’ll feel bad for people to a certain point.
Obviously you are better than that job and she was intimidated by you. You deserve and will find something better than working with small minded people
Thanks That was very sweet of you to say. I will never understand people who are mean all the time. Being nice is not hard and actually can bring yourself some happiness.
You have my sympathy . I think that it will benefit you more to look at your own behavior than at your older co workers . I get the impression that you may have overwhelmed her with attention and the gifts and so on. As I am her age I would wonder why and probably wouldn't appreciate it. As you didn't really like her and were trying to get on her good side she probably felt justified in getting you dismissed. Older people, because they have so many years of experience, are sometimes very good at reading people and their intentions. Chalk it up to a lesson learned. I'm sure you will go on to bigger things. Pam
Liveandletlive it's awful what has happened to you and you have my sympathy, but I would work on yourself as you are clearly an extreme people pleaser. This is not a criticism but an observation. You can't 'make' people like you and being really sugary nice to them is counter productive and can make them wonder what you are up to.
I know if someone treated me like this I would avoid them as much as possible and be very polite but distant. If they were a problem at work the better way is to go over their heads and have a word with her manager. Stuff being nice to the old bat!
Move on and learn your lessons. And yes I believe in karma too and have seen it in action...... x
To you and Hypercat I honestly am speechless. How your comments were supposed to make me feel better is baffling. And these comments are absolutely criticizing. As much as I want to explain myself that I wasn’t doing it because I didn’t like her; that’s just who I am; I’m very good at reading people and I could tell she was unhappy. Maybe I didn’t like her snapping at me, but I’m not the kind of person to brush it off and not do anything. I thought showing her I am nice and caring, maybe she’d trust me and working so close together, we could become friends. Anyway, Hypercat I like you. I really do but this is not the first time you’ve been a little harsh to me. Maybe you guys should check yourselves on how you treat younger people. I was taught to respect my elders and that’s what I did.
don't take it personally....some people don't know you like I do and I know your a very kind person by nature. You had been there for me through thick and thin and never deserted me when I needed support. That to me shows a lot of charactor and a true friend. Your very intellegent and kind, but your not a sugary sweet door mat by any means..you can stand your groud when you need to, your just diplomatic and try the softer way. But some don't deserve it, and those are the ones you soon learn to avoid, bypass, and give them a wide birth. A leapord doesn't change their spots.
Talk to this supervisor in writing and let them know your also sending a copy of letter to the labor board for wrongful termination and seeking legal aid. And you would like a copy of your letter of termination for them.
Omg Faux your words warmed my heart so much. I feel like I never have to prove anything to you or explain myself. You just get me. And I had to laugh about me not being a sugary sweet doormat. I can definitely put my foot down and speak my mind. You also know the whole situation from the day I started to the day I got fired. You’ve been there for me so much and we’ve grown this pretty amazing friendship. We agree on a lot of things and we both know that kindness goes a long way. I look forward to our emails everyday. I appreciate how much you understand why this termination is so wrong for so many reasons. You’re so special to me. I will always be here for you. I love when you call me kiddo or use your life mottos to cheer me up. Thank you for this response. All my love ❤️
Over nice or not that is not an acceptable way to treat someone never mind get them sacked. There is no excuse for that old woman's behaviour she should know better and clearly has issues with dealing with people. As a professional I would of taken you to one side and given you constructive feedback rather than just continuing to be unprofessional and nasty if I had a problem.
A good lesson from this moving forward would be if you come across such a person again, ask them for a chat to try and resolve the issue (makes you the bigger person) or at least get the issues out on the table. If this didn't help then speak to your manager, that's what they are there for to deal with these type of issues.
It’s a lesson learned. I’ll never let a coworker treat me that way again and I’ll report any hostility to my supervisor immediately. And I couldn’t agree more with you, that there is no excuse for it. And to go the length of getting someone fired is evil. It’s sad to think she did that willingly and has no idea the rep ructions this causes me. You never know what someone is going through and if someone is being nice to you, just be nice back!
I recently left a job I loved because I injured my back. I was agoraphobic for ten years. It was only my second job I had at age 40. I am now depressed and starting to have panic attacks. I haven’t had them in years. I miss working and feeling like I fit in. I even learned to drive. I don’t know where to go from here. I just don’t know man.
I absolutely understand. And that’s my fear now. And in no way is it easy pushing yourself to look for a job and than actually going; but the outcome is so worth it. I loved having that sense of purpose and doing my job the best I could. I pray that you get through this 💕
Thank you 🌺 That means a lot to me for saying that. I certainly don’t think I’m this amazing person, but I am loving and caring. I genuinely love people because I know we’re all battling something. I do go overboard with my niceness but that’s who I am. And like I said I’m going to practice to not go so much out of my way. I am pushing myself everyday to move forward and not fall apart. I just want to find a job where I don’t feel like such an outcast. But I believe God sees the truth behind everything and I know he sees my truth. Thanks again 💜
Thank you ALL for such loving responses. I am just reading them now. I must have REALLY needed sleep because I fell asleep last night after posting this; woke up at 10am for roughly 20 minutes and slept 8 straight hours today. Woe right? I sincerely apologize and I’m looking forward to reading and responding to you all tonight ❤️
I remember in college another student was complaining that the deck was stacked against him and the school was out to get him. The instructor pointed out that he could fail many times and still graduate. The system allows for that.
It was a temp job. You completed your assignment successfully and are ready to go back to the temp office for another assignment.
It it were me, I woul tell them the positive things they said about me, and get another assignment. If for any reason they do not have another immediate assignment I liked, I would just wait for a good one. While waiting, there are usually other temp places. I would try them too.
I am proud of you. You did well and delt admerablly with adversity. I was in my own business for many years, and would of given anything to have a kind loyal and caring person like you.
That was such an uplift 😃 Thank you dear! I’m ready for the next step. I know I did a good job and maybe it was time to move on. You’re so fun thanks for the joke😂 Laughing is literally my favorite thing in the world! It’s the best feeling! 💜💜💜💜
I know you outside of this group and you have been a long time friend. I know from our frequent contact about the crap you have had to put up with from these grabby old hags, , (I'm in my mid sixties so I can say that if I want to),.and I believe you should file a case with the labor board for being fired when these gals in the office have done nothing but fail thier duties at being rude and dismissive to countless clients and employees. A total lack of professionalism and just plain old common manners and respect to a fellow employee. Try to put together a log, dates, and what was said and what was going on. Be honest about anything you feel you need to be accountable for, but the main thing is your were fired on here say and B.S....that's wrongful termination. If you have any previous grievences filed against these women..be sure you request copies of them. Speak to the labor board and seek legal aid if needed to file any forms with the court.
Even if you don't want your job back....at least you can demand your files be expunged of the negativity about your work performance and your charactor defimation.
Then screw those guys...you tried....they lied....not a healthy place to be.
I know and the process you adviced me to do in one of our emails has been circling around my mind. But remember what I told you about how hard it is in my country to file anything! And my family is scared if I put my energy into that, I’ll be drained out when I apply for jobs. I haven’t heard back yet from the messages I told you that I left. I did start with filing for unemployment under wrongful termination today! I am researching everyday on file grievances. I wrote down every incident I could recall. Great minds think alike 😉 And thank you for another inspiring and thoughtful message. I found a picture today with a nice quote. I wish I could upload it to my comment but I’ll try it a different way 💕
you know....some battles are worth fighting....but knowing what battles to pick and which ones are just not worth pursuing is a hard choice. I think more than anything at this point I would focus on calm and cool damage control. Clear your record with the unemployment office as far as the wrongful termination and leave it at that. There is no need to have to deal with those people at that job ever again...they are dysfunctional and a dead end at this point....and count your blessings your out of there girl.....
I went through something similar, got sacked after 2 years for unfair reasons. I was heartbroken, I grieved, cried, was sick, felt like it was the worst thing ever, I was so embarrassed. But now 3 months on, I'm at a better company, at a better job, i got a promotion and I'm actually making a difference. I dont believe in god or anything but what ever it was forced me to be in a position to get a better job. I was sticking around for some of the people, i was comfortable but wasnt happy...I was scared of interviewing for another job never mind starting a new job with new people and what if I didn't like it?! But then I was in a position where I HAD to and it's really what I needed. People told me this has happened for a reason and you will be thankful for it. I knew they were right but I couldn't imagine myself getting there. But I did and it really was for the best.
So this has happened to teach you, you can deal with this, it will pass and you will be better for it. If you got that job then you can get another, even better job with nicer people.
These unfair things happen in life and some times it's just best to accept and move on. No point being mad or whatever.
I hope you have found some comfort in peoples responses. I know I did.
My similar situation reminds me of a Seinfeld episode. Kramer has been working as an executive type at this company. He just wandered in the door one day and started working, and everyone thought he just got hired. He slaves away, day after day, and finally hands in his reports. The boss calls him into his office and says, "I'm sorry, but your paperwork is terrible. These reports are incomprehensible. It's almost as if you have no idea what you're doing. I'm going to have to let you go." Kramer says, "Well, uh, I don't really work here." And the boss says, "And that's what makes this so difficult."
I appologize for this public display on your post over a missunderstanding, it came out of the blue, I had no idea about this, and I am sorry your post got hijacked.....you have my email ....I'm not responding anymore here as it's inappropriate and not the right forum.
You don’t need to apologize. You’ve been nothing but there for me. I posted this to get support and some love because I’ve been feeling pretty awful. You know my story and how much working was changing my life. I didn’t do anything wrong. Women can be so mean and I’ll never understand it. Maybe I am overly nice and do nice things because of my insecurities but I’d rather be that way than a rude, cranky, bully who thrives on getting someone fired! That’s so low. And I’m sorry you got some odd comments. Let’s just talk on email because right now I feel like I’m going to completely break. And I feel so bad for you.
No problem, l just got two PMS saying they only today got my PMS ...one from a month ago and two from two months ago and now my profile isn't showing up. So admin may have done something with my account, I don't know why.
Many years ago I had this terrible anger problem. I’d jump to conclusions a lot. It took a long time but I’ve learned that if I’m mad at one of my friends, I just ask them. And usually it’s something so stupid and than everything is fine. Wait...I just thought of something. You know how we only talk on email? Did you get my PM yesterday? I said “Can you read my post and see if what I wrote sounds good?” You emailed me later on,
so I figured you saw my pm but now I’m thinking maybe you didn’t get it. I just checked my messages and it’s not there! I don’t have any messages between us. They’re just gone! I swear to God and on everything that this just occurred to me! Definitely talk to Admin. Omg!!
I just got another member telling me my profile isn't showing up still, and they are not getting pms.....I'll have to contact admin.....I wondered why I wasn't getting very many responses when I pm'd people...figured they were just busy....
This is just very disappointing. I haven’t posted in months because of how hurt I was by another member. It took me a week to summon the courage to share what I’m going through. I wanted to trust that things changed and we all learned a lesson from what that member did. I just don’t get why women have to be so cruel to each other. That’s why I hold onto you so tight. You’re the one woman who hasn’t let me down; you email me everyday, you are always honest and kind with your words; you’re a very important person in my life. I feel terrible that this happened. I feel like I’m cursed with this site. The drama is endless. I felt pretty bad after reading some of the comments after I first posted and now I just feel hopeless about this site.
I couldn't understand what was going on. No one was answering my PM's.
I just got this message from HU...they stopped my PM's without notice over 2 months ago:
Hello Fauxartist,
Thanks so much for contacting us.
As a way to protect the members of HealthUnlocked communities from scammers and spammers, we had to put in place alarms and automatic actions to stop them. Unfortunately, your account was caught by our spam detector for sending 19 very similar private messages in a very short period of time. I have now lifted the restriction and you will be able to send and receive private message.
I apologize for the inconvenience this might have caused. You're restriction happened while we were implementing the new process, and it seems that we didn't double-check your restriction. We have now a more robust set of alerts and checks to avoid this type of situations while maintaining private message as safe as possible.
let me be honest here I delete my messages on here regular only keeping ones ive sent new users.i pmd you a couple of months ago but I clearly never got the message till I sent you a message tonight.i spent days at that time wondering if I had upset you but I let it go.now the message I sent you isn't showing up on my message board so maybe somethings not right with the system rather than it being users.
Same here!! The PM I sent to Faux yesterday is not showing up. That sucks because this whole time she hasn’t been receiving messages and vise versa. And obviously it’s not her fault. No one should be mad. This was a system error. We ALL know Faux would never purposely ignore someone. That’s ludicrous. Well I’m exhausted. Faux and Kenny I love you two so much and I hope you guys know I’m always here for you!
HU stopped my PM's over 2 months ago because I wrote so much they thought I was spamming....they never gave me notice that they did that....so for over 2 months no one has gotten my responses ....I got theirs...but they would not get mine.....nice job HU.....on a mental health site...a little heads up would have been nice.
Lisa, what the hell is going on? Grow up and just tell Faux in private what’s wrong. This is ridiculous. I almost feel like someone hyjacked your account because this is SO not like you Lisa. You’re usually so warm and caring. You never play games. And it’s obvious that Faux has no idea what she did wrong. We are all struggling our own demons so if we do something wrong, it’s not always easy to see. This shit is exactly what happened at work. Women battling against each other when we should be uplifting each other. And Lisa, you know VERY well that Faux is and always has been an amazing friend to all of us. Stop playing guessing games and just talk it out. No one wants to feel like the bad guy. It’s an awful feeling wondering what you did wrong to someone. And of all people, I highly doubt Faux did anything wrong. She’s always been honest and caring and I know she cares about you very much!
I really really needed support because I’m taking this getting fired extremely hard. I’m so sick of everyone fighting and making each other feel bad. Everywhere! Not just here. The world is hard enough. This disease is hard enough!!
Live and let live , I’m so sorry for your struggles with these people you really don’t deserve that..and I’m sending gentle hugs 🤗 your way
Hey there. Temping is just that and you will find the niche what about a dental practice or medical temping or in a legal office. Older edgy people may resent you and if they are telling lies this is defamatory. You are better off finding another temping job as you are liked but had the misfortune to find unpleasant people. If you are too pretty this can be a bit annoying so wearing reading spectacles even with non prescription lenses may help the usual jealous cats. It is their loss. Perhaps you could temp in a garage or vetinary surgery? If you upgrade your skills with a class this might help your confidence. It's their loss. Just remember not to lay yourself open to using any other than your personal e mails when at work during your lunch break.
The rumor was that the woman I worked with has been there for 30 years and is afraid someone younger is going to come in and take her job. I’m not that young. I’m almost 40 and they absolutely need someone else up front. I don’t believe they would get rid of her considering every time I talked to my boss, she made it clear that she knows what she’s doing and to just listen to her. The weird thing too, was when she’s not snapping at me or others, she’s actually funny and talkative. I wanted to prove to her that I am a good person and would never take her job. I tried too hard and that’s my issue. If I was making stuff up about her or being mean, yeah, I could understand her reasoning. I hate temping. It’s always some odd job where you never feel accepted or comfortable knowing you could be let go at anytime for no reason. But this was a hard job and so much training goes into it. The past few girls they tried out only lasted a month. They couldn’t handle it. So here I am showing up everyday for 4 months pretty much trained on everything so why let me go and train someone else all over again? She must have really pushed hard to get me fired because my immediate boss really liked me and always said how good I was doing. The temp agency does their usual check ins with the company and she said I was learning a lot quicker than expected and I was really good with the clients. It’s just a shame because I can’t use them as a reference. And in my post I explained the email thing. I absolutely cannot sign onto it from anywhere other than my phone. So it was an actual lie. But I have a plan to go after something better. This situation was just very upsetting.
So pleased the knock back ended up with you finding another avenue.. It was a misunderstanding as you could not log into your account any way. This person over seventy did not want to retire. Hope the new avenue works out. Found a postgraduate personal assistant course helpful with secretarial studies in the computer Pitman and a speed shorthand audio typing accountancy, and legal stuff. How agendas and proposals and vote of thanks are conducted.Mature people can apply for training. Had lots of temporary jobs including working for a vet who thought I was good with animals and could be a nurse. It did help throughout my life and at forty it was a challenge.
If anyone reads this additional comment that I need advice on please respond: I know this is absolute bonkers but I really like my boss. We got along and I always joked that we should hang out because she’s close to my age and she’s so funny. She’d joke around back that it would be fun but she’d need a strong drink. We used to sit in her office and talk about anything and we’d just laugh a lot. We seemed to genuinely like each other. I don’t hold anything against her. It wasn’t her decision. The director was told these lies and made the decision. I think my boss was kind of blindsided. So now it’s weird because we’ve been Facebook friends since a few months ago and we still like each other’s posts, even today she liked a post of mine. I kind of miss her! It would be ludicrous to text her just to say hello right?
Hi LiveandLetLive42 Why would i be ludicrous She may well be feeling abused by he same person, i would make sure any contact was strictly private between you, spiteful people are spiteful, saying hello to someone you like were is the crime.
Hi LiveandLetLive Yea why not contact someone you like, but be aware that the spiteful person that did the number on you may take action against the person you like so keep any contact private to be safe
Love and peace Max XX
• in reply to
And the fact she had to act in a way she may not of wanted to because of the actions of this other person is abusing her as well as you
Thanks for clarifying Max. I appreciate it. I actually thought about it more and I decided not to contact her. I kind of just want to move on from that whole place. My very close friend on here gave me some good advice too. I need to move on and I have an interview on Thursday! I'm very much looking forward to it. X
Hi Thanks I felt a bit shy about clicking that, as this really is the first time i have ever done online socializing! interaction! not even sure what to call it. It is very strange, but i can nearly use two fingers to type now, How dangerous do you like your jokes. Did you get the bit i put in somewhere about only just finding out, the lumber vertebrata count down not up, Think 3rd would be in the right place i never did understand how the hips joined at the 5th, that,s just truth, really silly. When i think of all the Dr, Nurses, Physios, i have seen over the years, they often looked confused.
Not sure if you meant that, So as i know i can be confusing, In short the 5th lumber vertebra is at the bottom of the lumber spine i thought it was at the top and the hips are attached at the 5th, clear as mud now then, I would of been amazed if you were a guy, we don,t worry as much about hygiene.
Hear a thought how many emotions do we have.
Peace and Harmoney Max XX
Hi LiveandLetLive42 Visualizing vengeance I get that thought, I think it can be most helpful even if you just tell yourself that its beneath you to act on it
Hi!! I am sorry about ur job but that 73 yr old im sorry to say but is a complete bitch! Im sorry i said that but its true!!but we know that when people get they become choldren! This 73 yrs old grandma has become spoiled brat who want attntion and control seeker but u dont worry..karma will do gud..u will do grt...just wait for the right oppurtunity and grab as asoon as possible and when we u are well settled and find a job that willl be soon.
Even they lied but wht u have written u are very nice girl who wants to help people if ur boss wasnt able to see what is lies or not then if wouldnt lost gem like you.
Awww thanks! And no worries about calling her a bitch. I couldn't agree more. I got taken advantage of very much, but I also learned a valuable lesson. Never go out of your way for people like that and don't be a people pleaser. I honestly just wanted to be friendly since we literally worked all day together. Not being friendly is so awkward! But, she's miserable and apparently the two people before me left after a month; so the cycle is never going to end. The people in charge don't seem to care or are too blind to see what's going on. I just felt helpless when the director told me "someone" said I was doing these things and I wasn't. How do you prove hearsay? That's what really got to me; is that I couldn't do anything about it. Of course I said they are lies, but unfortunately they chose to believe them. Thank you for making me feel better. Sometimes it's nice when people get mad for you, you know? Oh and I am a girl XO
Lesson that u learnt is very imp one as i am still learning that lesson starting to implement it! Am im sorry that i wrote guy!😂
hi Livenandletlive, i read your post and find it absolutely horrible that you would get fired over checking your personal email. who doesn't do that at work!? ppl are always checking their phones, doing online shopping, surfing the web, at least where i work. I'm sorry you had to go through this. getting back stabbed is so infuriating.
Yeah it was weird little lies that I absolutely thought the same thing; everyone does these things, but I honestly didn’t. I was busy all the time. I didn’t have time! I missed lunch a lot of days because it was so busy! But yeah pretty messed up right? I’m trying to move on but it’s hard.
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I hope you can put it behind you and move on to better things.
That was very sweet of you to say. I will never understand people who are mean all the time. Being nice is not hard and actually can bring yourself some happiness. 
XO 
I despise my family ***(sorry for the language) ***
I need help, my emotions are getting the better of me
Almost went through with it 
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