Horrible day

[Kevin160]

Havent been sleeping well these past few days , having dreams about A level results, stressed since they are in a few days

Tried to get over a fear i had ..but i stayed anxious thinking all day about it

I slipped carrying a water tank and injured my neck and arm

My family have been fighting all day which was extremely stressful and just made me angry

I visited a friend who suddenly got sick after i went to her house after her trip from africa , which worried me cuz i thought i might get sick too , even though it turns out she was just having severe stomach pains from her period ,and after a doctor visit she started feeling better but i still panic about it even though its nothing apparently but my life consists of irrational thoughts now i think im gonna die , whats wrong withme

I hate that everything in my life sucks , and everything bad happens all at once , i always thing like im cursed , i hate that the worst people in life like my father for example , and people who i know that are my age who spend their days doing everything wrong and just being the wirst people ever and having everything good in their oife, travel and health physically and mentally , great looks , and i know people will say that i cant say that because no one really knows what others go through they might also be suffering but trust me i know , i have friends with better families , money, doing everything they want without any care and are heakthy , unlike me doing nothing just oanicking, breaking up my family fights everyday, hating myself and my friends ...i keep saying i want to get away from this and study abroad then i get scared because if i that fucking weak and i cant handle a day like today without getting nauseous and feeling anxious and angry , how can i be independant and face life alone in a foreign country ..idk what to do .l.im just so angry with myself and everyone ..im just furious and just want to not be superstitious thinking my weird thoughts will come true, i dont want my life to stay like this

[argh52]

The first step to getting better is wanting to get better. The second step is asking for help. Welcome. Be kind to yourself.

[Kevin160 in reply to argh52]

I’ve been here since january , im not new, and what you said doesnt really make sense, i want to get better , but just my life isnt really helping i got too much going on and i have no help m but i appreciate the advice , thanks though❤️

[argh52 in reply to Kevin160]

Hahahahahahahaha

[syre]

My advice is, if you are old enough, try to study abroad, but make a good plan so you dont end up homeless, maybe go somewhere where a former friend or friend is, or will be. I kinda get the family thing, my situation is similar, and yeah, i have friends that have it alot easier, which i too have confirmed, and sometimes i ignore them for days because i get so jealous of their life while mine never seems to improve. I also am paranoid that i am going to die.....what im saying is, I get you.

[Kevin160 in reply to syre]

Thank you for understanding , im really not a brat who just wants to complain but this year has been the worst , and my life hasnt been easy at all ever since childhood , and its really starting to affect me mentally, between panic attacks , health anxiety , and constant fear ..the slightest tick triggers fear ..and i really want to do more with my life but i get scared the second i feel better , and i always say i want to get away from my family because they are terrible people mostly , theyre manipulative and they take advantage of people, but then i change my mind out of fear and thinking thhey have changed but they dont ..im sick of this and i want change

[clivevsmith in reply to Kevin160]

I have just read "Self Help For Your Nerves" by Dr Claire Weekes. Some excellent advice for people who have the same issues as you do and how to sort it all out. I would recommend getting a copy. I read it in a day, so it's not a long book.

You can get through this - you just need some guidance. I think the book could help.

[Kevin160 in reply to clivevsmith]

I heared many of her podcasts , it was one of the first things i was told to learn about when i joined 8 months ago , and it was a life changer , because i used to panic for silly reasons and let my irrational thoughts control me , but then i realized if i didnt resist it and just accelted it it went away much faster, my anxiety is much more mild now and its based on actual fears like my family fights and my graduation exams results and stuff like that ..and im much calmer than before , but it just sucks a bit that i have no support system and im responsible for alot that i shouldnt be and it was just so difficult handling this year and all its terrible days