Happy 4th of July to everyone out there. I hope we all are doing something to keep us busy. Me however is just hanging in there nothing going on with me. I still don’t feel the support from my family especially my father. I am finding out piece by piece that I feel I am expendable to him and not the kind of person he wanted me to be. Him and my mother divorced when I was only 5 years old and both views from them have affected me here in the present. I feel that I have to call him since he never calls me at all. I just feel that I am going to catch him in a bad mood and that bad vibe will bring me down too. So I do wish he would show better support to me and show me the good side of him that would make me feel at ease.
So even on a holiday I do struggle since there really isn’t nothing to do or even anyone to celebrate with. All I could do is focus on me today and this day ain’t going to last forever so remember I could do my own thing tomorrow no matter what everybody thinks. So once again happy birthday America and hope you all have fun.
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Sabbath_Star
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Happy 4 th to you also. We are home, not doing anything special. Just buried my husbands brother yesterday so not in the mood for being around people. Sounds like you need to find a supportive friend or two to lean on. Sometimes friends are closer than family. It is hard to wish a relationship is more than it is. You need to find people who are good for you, ones that leave you with a smile on your face.
Hoski: sorry for the loss that you experienced. Right now I am indeed challenge myself to do my own tradition here and be safe at the same time. I believe that I will make it and I indeed got this. So happy 4th to you once again and you hang in there
Agora1: great thing back in Chi town that you’ll see the fireworks at the Navy Pier. I am challenging myself to start something new and will indeed make it here until tomorrow. I am glad for the both of us we shall see and let freedom ring!!! Happy 4th to you!!!
Family dynamics can be hard and I think the holidays make it even harder.
The only kind of person you should be is the person you want to be. Don’t let your Dad get you down! I hope you can find some space to do something for yourself today or tomorrow. Be well!
RockAndHardPlace: indeed. I know holidays are hard for most of us but I am challenging myself to start something new for me. I know I will make it and I shall do something for me tomorrow. I hope you have a happy 4th and let freedom ring!!!
Hi Sabbath star. Can relate to this offhand attitude of your dad. Guess you think it is too painful to give him a ring and will feel worse if you get the brush up. My dad remarried and my stepmother used to turn up the TV volume when I made my weekly call to my dad. However he was still my dad so made the effort even if he was self centred or grouchy. Think you will feel better if you have spoken to him today stressing you are too busy to talk but just want to wish him a happy independence day. If you can say how much you appreciate him and that today would just not be the same if you did not say hi to him he might break his Stony reserve. Don't forget to phone mum either as you will always be in her life . The longer the gaps are between contact the harder it is to reconnect. Wishing u a great day from the UK.
Birmanblue: I extend my greetings to you in the UK. I believe that people like my father should not affect my flow to function and that back here in America that I should have my own tradition and feel great at the same time. I wish you a great day Cheerio and Cheers to you!!!
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Question: Is feeling numb part of PTSD and Anxiety?
I don’t know what to do! 
The loneliness continues 
A message from my ex
I despise my family ***(sorry for the language) ***
