Does this ever go away??

[Freedom31]

It's been months, don't even recall when was the last time I was at peace with myself. I feel like nobody can see or hear me. I look myself in the mirror and look completely lost. Many negative and positive thoughts constantly attacking my head, I fight for each breath and pray for it all to stop. I look at my partner and feel so disconnected from him, The one thing that use to keep me together and motivate me is gone....he says he loves me but doesn't show any affection, love, care NOTHING. It's almost like he has nothing to say, we relate to nothing anymore. I cry when I want his attention, I ask him all I need is a little support. Just a text or a call "how r u today" But Anxiety has taken over me....

[Hidden]

Maybe you need a break from him to find your self again. We have to take care of ourselves before anyone else.

[hunter4ransom]

It’s especially hard on our partners when we are suffering from something they don’t quite understand and can’t see.

It’s not like we were in car accident and covered in cuts and bruises with broken bones so others know we are hurting (even though our insides certainly feel that way.). We tend to look physically fine and have mastered looking and acting as normal as possible while at work, the grocery store, chatting with neighbors, etc... But when we get home (our safe place) we can no longer hide our intense fears, unbearable pain, flood of negative thoughts and what if’s, unrealistic expectations of ourselves, and a strong need for comfort from our partners/family members from the pain the monsters that have us in their physical grip have caused us. Yes, the physical symptoms of anxiety/depression are just as debilitating as the mental/emotional pain.

Our loved ones want to help, but feel useless when they watch us suffer and don’t know how to “fix” us so we are well again. Sometimes they even blame themselves and then get angry when they can’t make us feel better and detach from the situation. Of course this devastates us as we feel rejected and even more alone.

My boyfriend and I have been through this for the several months. I’m in therapy and on medication for anxiety. I’ve learned to let him know that I understand my illness is hard on him too and that I love and appreciate him even he doesn’t always know how to help me or what to say. I told him it’s okay to not have answers. He needed to know that I’m working on myself and he is not responsible for my illness or being held accountable for my healing. All I need from him is a hand to hold when the storm hits and a safe person to be by my side so I know I’m not alone until it passes. He doesn’t have to jump into action or know all the right things to do or say. He is doing great being his usual caring self and doing the best he can. I don’t always get all my needs met and like every couple, we can butt heads, but by not putting pressure or expectations on him he has become such a loving support.

I know every relationship is unique and we all have different life situations, but wanted to share mine with you in hopes it helps. If you and your partner have a strong relationship, you will be fine. Try to find support in others such as family, friends, therapy, online (like here 😊), and let your partner know you are working on you and appreciate them for being caring and patient as you find your way back to where you both want you to be.

Take care and know you aren’t alone in how you feel and what you are going thru.

❤️Eileen

[Hidden in reply to hunter4ransom]

I agree with you 100%!!! Love, joy, peace & hugs!!!

[Hidden in reply to hunter4ransom]

I couldn’t have said it any better. You’re an incredible woman, Ms Eileen. <3 Hugs to you & Anxiety from me!!!! Let’s conquer the world today!!! xoxo

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I'm all in sweetie pie! love, peace, joy & hugs!!!

[Freedom31 in reply to hunter4ransom]

🙏❤️❤️❤️

[Eggsandbacon]

I’m not quiet sure if it goes away, but it’s manageable.

Somedays we just have too much in our plate and is okay to ask for help.

Personally I used to like to think that I could fix it on my own. I too feel distant with my partner, but I realized that is my own internal struggle that is what intimidated him; making it hard to address so it easier for him to pretend everything is ok.

Don’t take it out on them, unless if things become abusive and out of hand, then that is bad.

I suppose what I am trying to say is that perhaps you should give yourself some time for you. Counseling helped me to let out all my concerns and views of others. Talking about things and through scenarios helped me view certain behaviors I was picking up.

I finally decided to start medication after 2 years, and so far it kinda helps with the thoughts in the head.

I have decided that in order for me to be a better partner for my boyfriend, sister or daughter that I have to first take care of myself and figure out how to be good for me.

Is still a works in progress, but at least I no longer feel like I’m alone.

Stay strong you got this👍🏼

Talking about it definitely helps.

[Freedom31 in reply to Eggsandbacon]

🙏❤️❤️❤️

[Hidden]

In my own experience, it comes & goes. Some days I am perfectly fine & I feel like I can conquer the world, & other times I look at myself in the mirror & wonder where that strong, confident, capable woman that I used to be has gone.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m also sorry that you’re partner doesn’t give you the love & attention that you’re craving.

I think that when we are in our own heads, we expect our partners to react in a way that they may not be able to. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love or you care about you, it just means that you have to stop expecting him to do the things you need him to do.

My advice is to find a point where you can love yourself. I’m not saying you have to break things off with him if you’re not ready, but stop relying on him so much to give you the love you crave so badly. You should be able to do that for yourself. Take care of yourself & focus on yourself first. Then the rest will follow.

I’m always here if you ever need to chat. I wish you all the best. Keep fighting the good fight. We are all fighting with you.

Stay strong. xoxo

[Freedom31 in reply to Hidden]

🙏❤️❤️❤️

[whydowesufferso]

I wish I had a partner!

[Want2BHappy3]

Sorry to hear about what's going on with you, and you may not want to hear this?... but how long? I've had it off and on for about 36 years 😖. You didn't mention counciling or medication? You might look into that? You're boyfriend is another story. This is hard for them too, family and friends don't know how to deal with us? My own kids have chosen to isolate measure a way to deal with this. Friends think just sending me positive quotes, this should fix it?

So i pretend everything is ok when I'm around people. They don't want to hear anything about my anxiety, that I'm over reacting when I speak? So try not to read too much into your boyfriends behavior, and look into counciling. Ask about Mitazapine if the doctor wants to put you on medication? I've tried different meds and doctors, so don't be afraid to change either if something's not working. Good luck

[Freedom31 in reply to Want2BHappy3]

36 years is a long time.....I was seeing a therapist and took medication but seen no improvements. I am self-medicating with cannabis as needed but sometimes makes me more anxious. Yes, my boyfriend is another story, I have to put him aside for the moment. His a clinician and I feel has made my situation worse by keeping his distance from me giving me "space" He's drain and overwhelmed and we both agree to stay away from negative energy LOL Thanks for reaching out to me, this has really helped me get through very difficult days!!