I don’t know what to do

[Merciful93]

I have just recently started a new relationship and already we have fought multiple times. It started out ya being happy and getting to know each other better and I even opened up about how bad my anxiety and depression can be and has been. He is my sister and brother in laws close friend and they set us up. I started to trust him and even thought I was falling for him and that he could be the right guy for me but things started to change. I said something and he went crazy. He started to rant and rave about how clueless and stupid I was and on and on about how bad of a person I was and how I lie all the time and manipulate him. Then he brought my sister into it about how she’s just as bad as I am. We talked it out and wanted to try again but now it seems like anytime I express myself he looses his mind or if I don’t give him every bit of my attention even though I am clearly busy he tells me how horrible I am. Then suddenly he wants to be with me and tries to tell me how much I mean to him and how losing me would be terrible. Now it seems even his compliments are back handed compliments and things just keep getting worse and spiraling out of control. I’m not happy and I don’t think I ever will be with him, but I honestly don’t know if it’s as bad as I think or if it’s just my anxiety and trust issues creeping up in the back of my mind. I’m so confused and I’ve been alone for so long that I don’t know who to talk to or what to say.

[guynfl2chat]

Sounds like he is a bit self centered. Be careful! You want someone in your life to be supportive and not manipulative.

[Merciful93 in reply to guynfl2chat]

Thank you for the advice. I will definitely keep it in mind.

[hypercat54]

Hi I am going to be blunt here - ditch him and run a mile as fast as you can. If he is behaving like this towards you at the beginning of your relationship then it is not going to get better, only worse.

Cut your losses, get out, and find someone who treats you with the love and respect you deserve. You don't need a foul mouthed player in your life. Don't rent room in your head to toxic people. x

[Merciful93 in reply to hypercat54]

Thank you

[Hidden in reply to hypercat54]

My sentiments exactly. Oh and WTH?

[b1b1b1 in reply to hypercat54]

Agree completely. Lucky you found all this out early on.

[AZ1970]

Trust your instincts. He is abusive and manipulative. He pushes you away. Then he pulls you back in when it meets his needs. Get away quick. This kind of relationship will make things worse.

[cruin]

I am married to someone who has anger issues and who's been abusive to me and our children for a long time. Get rid of him now before things get worse. He's not healthy. It's abusive for someone to call you names and belittle you when they are angry. Walk away now before things become complicated like marriage or children. You deserve better! My anxiety and depression started because of him . My self esteem is so bad I didn't even realize he was being abusive until he threatened to kill our daughter. It was right then and there I realized how bad it was. I had to get an order of protection to get him out of the house. We were separate for two years. During that time he went to counseling for his anger. He's back in the house, things are better but he's still not were he needs to be.