Depression... a term, a word which when used normally people have a reaction like Hey everyone has depression, you are not alone some even don't hesitate to say for what you are depressed you have an easy life... no burden of earning no stress of future just sitting at home... yes it can be true to some extent.... ... but Is this the reality?? NO, not at all......
I'm depressed, I'm anxious... ... so much that I really really afraid of waking up in the morning fear in mind don't know when will the low feeling hit me hit me so hard that... that I feel like ending myself want to pause everything, everything means everything like my chaotic mind, feeling, emotions... - just want to numb my brain no it won't send any feeling any emotions. this low feeling is like I'm drowning drowning deep deep in a dark tunnel, a tunnel which is so dark, so scary , so very scary no light even at the end of tunnel.... feeling like suffocation oh so much suffocation... ... can't bear it, feel like heart is sinking, sinking so deep... but it doesn't stop it keeps on beating, beating is dull, very slow but it beats. Wish it stops just STOP. Everything will come to end, this pain, this feeling of being hopeless, useless, worthless Trust me this is the worst thing of life~ Can I end it??NO....why??Am i coward?NO....then what's stopping me.....this feeling engulfs me n the biggest question is WHY I AM DEPRESSED, Why I am feeling so low ...... Why just why?? If I think about it I get no answer I mean no answer that can give profound answer to my question. I am Chronic Pain Patient, in constant pain since almost 8-9 years, constant Pain but you don't look sick...... depression, anxiety is also a part of my this sickness if I think this way I am just clinically depressed n this should be treated clinically. But depression aggravates the pain too, and because of pain depression increases so it's a vicious circle, things are overlapping each other and I just not able to figure it out....... I am trying to come out of this I am really trying hard to come out of all this but no success, and it's natural that efforts are being appreciated only if those leads to success otherwise who cares and who has time to appreciate your efforts, encourage you that it's Okay if you're not succeeding atleast you're trying......
I think it will definitely give boost to the sufferer....
So sorry Praty for all this you're going through. Sincerely you've said everything and I was touched because right now I'm in similar situation of hopelessness. The future bothers me so much. How will I look after family, how will I keep at home when the wife goes to work yet we have so many things to do ahead of us and am the head. Having no official job and feeling like I can't manage working with people because I think my social life is hard to others. I'm a person who gave his life to the Lord Jesus Christ and having no hope for the future is like am not trusting my Lord so it feels to me like the Lord won't be happy about me but am sorry this is what's on my head at the moment. Again am sorry because am supposed to be writing encouraging message here but instead am saying out my problems.
Thats perfectly alright..... i guess we all r sailing in same boat....but we have to keep faith on HIM.... 🙏🏻🙏🏻
I don't know how old you are but, you do seem young. For me, my depression was triggered at a very young age. I’m in my early 40’s now. My depression, from an age we can remember things until now, has always had its ups & downs. It really all depended on the current moment of time, the very second. (If you’d like, take some time, a lot of time, & read my story on my profile. It will give you an idea of what I’ve been through up to this very moment in my time). Like right now, in this very moment, I am depressed, I’m always depressed, but, it’s not bad enough that I cannot focus on something or do anything. Also, right now, I’m feeling so freaking frustrated & pissed off because I cannot seem to get this damned migraine of mine under control. I live with chronic pain too. Have for roughly 4-5 years now. Lately, it seems, every day I have a migraine that won’t go away no matter what I try to get rid of it. So, when you mention chronic pain in this post, I get that as well. It may be the exact type you’re going through but, I still get it. Depression is different for each person. Your depression is different from my depression. You cope/manage/fight your depression the best way you know how as I fight my depression the best way that I know how. With me, when one way stops working, I find another way, and when that way stops, I find another, and so on. I’ve also had moments with my depression where I felt the strong desire to commit suicide. I believe a lot of here have felt that urge at some point. We all also most likely also thought, who would care, who would miss me, it’s not like they’ve been there for me anyway, and, who will miss me. If you stop & think about it, as many of us who have thought about killing ourselves, there is at least one special person in our lives that do mean the world to us, that will feel like the wind just got knocked right out of them if we left. It could be that one really close friend of ours. It could our child. It could be our husband or wife. I think you get my point. There’s always at least someone out there that will have their world completely turned inside out if we killed ourselves. My husband has overheard me say that I wanted to kill myself once. He told me straight out that it’s one of the most selfish things to ever do. Do you know something? He’s right. It is. Suicide is a selfish act. We all may think that in the heat of the moment or when our depression is at it’s darkest but, he’s right. It’s the most selfish act ever. Aside from hurting ourselves & killing ourselves, we’re also hurting so many other people regardless if we think they don’t. That’s what depression does to us all. When we are at our darkest moment, it’s like there’s this little demon voice in our heads telling us that there’s no one out there that cares, no one there that loves us, and on one out there that will miss us, so, go ahead and do it & it just keeps nagging at us over & over again & some of are too weak & we give in. We have to be the ones that are stronger than that & tell it to STFU & go away. I do not know what type of outlets you have, for when you have moments that arise where you’re really at your lowest but, some of the things that have helped me so far are; reading, drawing, writing, listenings to music, binging some tv shows, talking a walk to a lake & just sitting there, and I created my own blog to write all my shit down to see if it can help anyone else. Oh, I also played a shit load of games. I also have children & a dog so, I played with them too. That helped me. I know I blabbed a lot. I always do this. I always have so much to write. I just love to write. Sorry for doing so much of it here on your post. I just hope that you’re able to take something from this.
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Hi....im also in my early 40's....will def. Read ur story n get back to u.....thankyou for sharing ur experience
I can relate to everything you’re feeling. Have chronic pain, depression, anxiety. It’s changed my life, isolated me. I hope you have some kind of support person you can speak to.
Hi.....yes,luckily i have friends whom i can count on....but most of times even talking to them wont help....but i guess we have to keep going with hope that one day we ll come out of all this🙏🏻🙏🏻
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I'm done. I'm too much of a coward to kill myself, but aside from that, I hope death takes me tonight. I have nothing and no one.
I am sorry 
Barely hanging on 
Anxiety is a bad companion today
