Barely hanging on

This is my first time on a discussion group but I thought it might be helpful. Lately I feel like I am barely hanging on, like I'm drowning in my own thoughts. Everything seems like an effort that I just don't have the energy or desire to do. My husband asked me today to name one thing that brings me joy and I couldn't come up with an answer and for that I feel ashamed or like a failure. I mean there are people out there that have major life problems and they manage to still be happy. I don't understand why I can't just be happy or grateful for what I have. I feel like I am broken and I don't know how to fix it. I hate all these negative feelings but I feel like I can't make them stop.

[Falling_apart]

I have been this way a lot lately too. It’s like I’m stuck and nothing I do matters. If I try to talk about it to my husband he gets defensive and shuts me out. I feel alone .i used to be super positive and now I don’t know how to get back to that. In truth, I’m terrified that no one really cares at all.

[Hidden in reply to Falling_apart]

I know that there are some people out there who care but there are a lot of people who don't understand what it's like to live with depression. Even when we are surrounded by people we feel alone and vulnerable to opening up and sharing our struggles because of the fear of judgment and labeling

[Hidden]

I'm feeling exactly the same with finding joy, nothing brings me any joy anymore, it's a terrible feeling and then you feel guilty and ashamed on top of that, wish I could offer you words of wisdom but just know you are not alone in your feelings

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your understanding

[Hidden]

youtu.be/GZNjBEPT62U(Not working as expected?)

This post reminded me of this song.

[nanhaus]

Hey guys, I understand depression and anxiety very well. I know what it's like personally, but it can get better. What I can say is that depression as well as anxiety is just on big mental construct. We know that we are caught in our thoughts, as you guys have acknowledged about yourselves, and it sometimes feels like we can't escape it.

Our brain is just used to hearing that. It's THAT same brain that heals you. There are two things that will be the first two steps in getting better....One is that you need to BELIEVE it's possible and two, you need to BELIEVE it's possible for YOU. You are not lost in your thoughts or feelings or falling apart. You are just innocently believing that you are...just caught up in the thoughts in the moment. That's really where all of life happens, moment by moment. In our thoughts. The minute you see that, is the moment you can also see the power in it.

[Hidden in reply to nanhaus]

Some days are definitely better than others and I cling to those good days to keep me moving forward. I'm not giving up, I want to get better. I appreciate your advice and support.

[KMarti19]

Yep I know. Everyday waking up is soooo hard just want to sleep away time. I wish I had the real good feelings.... we have to FIND this again.... maybe music maybe talking to ourselves maybe a vacation..... I am widowed and alone. It is pretty hard, but we all have to keep going!!!!!! It is Friday so that’s good right?

[mom109]

Per both my therapist and psychiatrist, a lot of people are feeling this way -- more than usual. Also, people who look "happy" aren't always happy - just better at presenting a happy face in public. Find someone to talk with (outside of husband) - I am lucky that mine is pretty supportive, although he doesn't really understand the feelings of despair that can be crippling. If you don't have insurance or can't get therapy covered, look online for close by walk in mental health resources. People care. I care.

[Bostonian]

Don't try and force it, you have to let happiness come to you. Just know that some days will be better than others and your family loves you.

I often how stop and meditate, slowing the crazy tempo of life, so that I can focus on the things that matter.