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[Sad-mom]

I am hoping that this will help me vent since I don't have any friends to turn too. I will start by telling you about me . I am 57 years old I've been divorce twice.I have a lot of health issues.. One of the biggest one is I don't like to leave my house. I am very poor and the place I live is falling apart. I have 3 kids. My kids are over 21 and out on their own. My two oldest one was with my first marriage. The young one is by my second husband . I raised my youngest daughter on my own her dad left me when she was six . When I called him to come see her, he told me that he has a new family ( He got married the day our divorce was final. )and doesn't have time for her. My oldest one is a son and the only one that treats me like a mom. He live out of state so it hard to see him. Yes I use to call him and vent to him but I don't want to get him involved with my problems he has his own. My two girls treat me like poop. They love to back stab me. The older daughter would tell my youngest one how bad of a mother I am and to my face act like she loves me. Now my youngest daughter use to be like my best friend till she started collage. Her first year we would call each other every day crying because we missed each other, Now she acts like a little brat that like to mouth back to me. She is getting married next year and even thou I told her to wait till she is done with collage. She said no and told me that I have to help pay for the shower. Which I said I would help pay for it. I know it my fault that I let the girls treat me like dirt and don't fight back. I know if I get them mad I will lose them. So I let them walk all over me and cry myself to sleep. I have 2 brothers and two sisters. They don't talk to me because i am beneath them. My one brother has past. He committed suicide after his wife died.I feel all alone. Which I am seeing a doctor to try and help with my depression. Now you know a little bit about me and some of why I am very depressed. Thank you for reading this.

[Agora1]

Hi Sad-mom, I'm sorry for all you are experiencing. Having children isn't always a

guarantee that our future will be filled with love and happiness. Sometimes it ends

up being a very lonely place. Confrontations and worries if you don't do what they

want and expect then you may lose them. Which has put you in this sad overwhelming

spot right now.

I'm glad you are seeing a doctor for your depression. You do need that professional

guidance right now. I'm also glad that you reached out to a support group where you

will hear from others going through the same issues. We share our journey in life and

learn so much more through our virtual family members on this site. It is a place you

can come to feel some solace, to not feel judged or looked down upon.

I'm glad you are here. Welcome to this amazing support group. We will get through this xx

[Sad-mom in reply to Agora1]

Thank you. I am glad to be here to have a place to vent and have someone that knows how it feels.

[Agora1 in reply to Sad-mom]

I'm happy to hear that Sad-mom. It's a great group that you have found. xx

[Tinkabeller]

Hi I am sorry to hear u are having a rough time of it. I'm not in the same situation but my mum is, my older sister was so horrible she had a son who my mum basically brought up for her until my sister met a new man he liked his alcohol so my mum would voice her opinion etc my sister up and moved away and told her son he didn't have a gran. I've moved as I met my fella leaving my mum with my younger sister and two younger brothers now my sister has two boys who my mum does everything for my mum has a lot of health problems but she won't say no to my sister as she says she will leave with my nephews and my mum won't ever get to see them again. This breaks my mums heart. I keep telling my mum she needs to put her foot down but she's to scared to. I know it's easier said then done but you are going to have to be craw to be kind and she will need you sooner or later and come home with her tail between her legs. I'm sorry I rambled on but I thought u should no ur not on ur own. And well done for reaching out u will find the help and support u need from her and doctors. Think of it like this if ur at the bottom there's only one way to go and that's up x

[Sad-mom in reply to Tinkabeller]

Thank you and i'm sorry for your mom. It's just to hard to say no. Most kids now day just don't care anymore. I am so glad I found this site.

[Tinkabeller in reply to Sad-mom]

I know it's like they are growing up with no respect. I have two myself and I have done my hardest to make them respectful and polite but it's hard. Is mums have to stick together. We got this and always here if you need to chat/vent or anything x

[Gina_64]

I am new here too and I just wanted to tell you that you are worthy of so much more in life. Sadness and loneliness is part of what I go through also, for different reasons, but it still hurts. It's good you are reaching out to a doctor and to others. Hopefully this will help and knowing others are not only here for you but share the same feelings.

[Dolphin14]

Sad-mom

Sorry for all your pain and struggles. Welcome to a very supportive site.

I have a daughter that "trapped me" for many years. I always gave into her and chased her down to avoid conflict with her. She is the mother of my only grandchild. I was panicked I would lose contact with my granddaughter.

I'm in healing stages of my own mental health issues. I built up the strength to finally confront her behavior. I told her what she does is unacceptable in our family... she had been ignoring all of us.

I told her to change her attitude as it would no longer go on and she would suffer the consequences of losing her family. She pushed my buttons for awhile, thought I would cave in from fear. I held my ground. In the back of my mind was my granddaughter, thinking I would lose her. I won, she finally realized I was serious and not backing down.

You have to do what you think is best. I don't know your family dynamics.

But I just wanted to share with you that you deserve better treatment.

[Sad-mom in reply to Dolphin14]

Thank you for sharing. I wish I was that strong. Maybe now that I am on this site hearing people's stories it will help. I am so glad it worked for you I'm just still to afraid of losing them.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Sad-mom]

I totally understand. Took me a long time to reach that point.

[SheWrote]

Hi There. I am so sorry for all that you are going through. It sounds as though it has been many years in the making and it has continued to build up over time and now you almost feel as if you are suffocating and no one cares... I understand, dear one. I was there once. Different circumstances, but fully consumed and controlled by my depression, anxiety and fear. I am now free. But, I had to work hard to get here. I had to realize that my neither my last or my circumstances define me. That I am a uniquely created human being who is here for a reason. But, until I learned and believed in my worth and loved myself, no one else could fully love me. Not only that, I needed to get up and go out and be part of a community with people who I could call on. You say you have no one right now? Maybe you are looking in the wrong places. Please believe in yourself... you will find others will too. You can get through this, you deserve love and a life full of happiness. Go and get it!!! Oh by the way, going to a doctor is probably a good decision too. I did counseling and was even on meds for a bit to help me get a grasp on what was going on inside me. Good for you!!!!

[artistinresidence]

life is hard. In our society today our young adult children feel entitled, and often their strong opinions and expectations of us put us in a position of pleasing them before pleasing ourself. Its not easy to do what is best for us. We don't want to estrange ourselves from our children but we also need to not lose all of who we are in the process. A tough one. There is a program , a 12 step recovery program I belonged to (and plan to return to). Its program is for ANYONE with a HURT, HABIT or HANGUP. That's everyone! Its' called Celebrate Recovery.

Seeing a doctor is great. Being in a support group/12 step recovery program is great as well. Here you will be "home" with respect of others that too are seeking health in all ways. It's not for addictions only...it offers the best of the best for us hurting souls.

If you can, love yourself for one minute...embrace who you are...that girl that was created uniquely you. Then the next time, love yourself for 2 mins...etc etc. Keep track in a journal of the way your feeling and write about it.

May you have a blessed day.

Artistinresidence