New here

[djpeeling]

I’m new to this group. I’ve suffered from anxiety and depression for about twelve years. About a year ago I checked myself into a hospital. I was doing so much better afterwards. My boyfriend and I had our second daughter who is now nine months old and then three weeks ago he decided he “couldn’t carry my grief anymore” years just flushed down the toilet. I had to move myself and our four year old and nine month old in with my family. My oldest is devastated, she doesn’t get why we had to move out of our home. We worked at the same place so I’m looking for a new job, a new place for me and my kids. Im so damn lost but have to hold it together for my kids. I’m 27 years old and haven’t lived at home since I was 18. I miss my ex so much but know this is for the best. If he couldn’t handle me because of my depression and was willing to give up on me and destroy our family than there’s no use trying to get him back. I’m just struggling. I have thoughts I shouldn’t still, especially late at night. I know I can’t give into them, my girls need me. I just hate feeling like this, hate that I have to start over. I guess I just wanted to rant. I’m in counseling still. I just thought this might help too.

[mer_bear]

I am terribly sorry about your situation but its like you said, If he was willing to give up then you need to move on and know that there will be someone better who CAN and WANTS to be there for you for who you are. During the GOOD and the BAD! Lord knows I put my husband through a roller coaster lately. My anxiety has bubbled up over the last year again, was under control for a good but of 5 years but something must have triggered it. My doctor helped me with my chemical unbalance but I still have SO much to work on when it comes to myself and my self worth. I have always been scared to go to counseling but maybe its time to take that step too.. for me and for my loved ones. Anyways, I am new here too and was hoping chatting with some like minded ladies would really help me break out of my shell. I have the same "thoughts" you are talking about but that's all you can let them be. Someone once told me "If you talk about your fears, the fear wont be so strong" Good luck girl, and its good to know I'm not the only one!

[djpeeling in reply to mer_bear]

Thank you for the kind words! I have a lot of work to do when it comes to my self esteem. I know now I need to focus on some self care and love and do my best for my kids. I need to get back on my meds it’s just been such a struggle to find something that is effective for me.

[mer_bear in reply to djpeeling]

I’ve been a year strong working on the right Med combo!! My doctor has been so patient with me, lol.. but I’m finally starting to feel better. It’s a struggle but once you find the right combo of meds and whatever else it takes, things will look up.

[djpeeling]

I’ve been on Zoloft for years, prazosin to help with ptsd nightmares, and Xanax for panic attacks

[Want2BHappy3]

I'm not surprised, men want to fix things and want it done Now. I read that 80% of men leave relationships when things get bad. You have a tough road ahead. Seek some counseling.

I had to quit my job n retire it got that bad. Becarful your kids can inherit your anxiety as my daughter has pointed out to me. That she has Chosen to isolate me because she can't stand it. Wants to move out.