My story

[Khamoshi]

I had a daughter 3 years ago! I loved her so much but I could never keep up with her because my family didn't supported me and I was in post mortem depression as well. Nobody understood me, what I was going through at that time

When I had my cesarean operation, I used to have suicidal thoughts, I used to feel like giving up my life by hanging from the fan, I looked at the fan day and night, morning and evening, I used to think, give up my life, I did not like it at all, I had this massive cut on stomach, I couldn't walk, couldn't plow, couldn't turn at that time, I felt helpless.

No one was there to take care of me, no one understood me, my mother used to take care of me but what underground water is running inside me she didn't know about that.

After few days only (20-25 days) they took my daughter away from me because of my health conditions because nobody had the time for me. They said you are not in that condition after the cesarean operation to take care of your daughter alone and we can't stay here with you (My mother-in-law words) so they had to leave me there alone.

After I recovered I thought now I will hire a maid and will live with my daughter and family but nobody came, nobody supported me, my husband asked me to give my daughter to my in-laws and I felt like living corpse after that I tried many ways by hiring maid and other ways but nothing helped my daughter was not able to speak if she need any help and I had to choose between a job and my daughter because I have to repay the loan and my husband was not supporting me financially. Without my daughter my life seemed to end and one day my husband left me mid way without telling me where exactly he is going for another job. I was heart broken.

Now I am giving him divorce and my daughter is with them since these 3 years, I have no other choice because my daughter is used to that atmosphere and family. I don't know if she knows that her mom is alive and I l love her with all my heart. She is my life.

Now I am here in new city but here also I feel suffocated. It is difficult to get one sail. It seems as if there is no hope left in life.

I don't understand anything now I don't want to live, I have no hope of living I don't think anyone will understand me. Will my death make any difference to anyone? I feel sad thinking about my daughter, I am divorcing my husband but my daughter's life is ruined!

I'm weak in front of the world. Don't know how will I deal with things? If I will be alive, I would like to tell her that I love her very much. I just couldn't live with you my daughter. Please don't believe if people speak bad about me!

Your mother will always love you forever!

[kenster1]

sorry to hear your story are you in contact with the people she lives with maybe they can at the very least send you pictures you might not be living with her as her mother but you and only you will be her mother never give up hope of reconnecting you just never know. my story is different but similar in the fact that I was kept away from my first son. never give up hope.

[Khamoshi in reply to kenster1]

They are my in-laws and the divorce is under process already it is impossible for me to connect with her at the moment now. I feel helpless. My husband ruined my life and I feel like why I don't deserve love like other people around me.

[kenster1 in reply to Khamoshi]

I think best to connect via a mediator or a lawyer but you need to be strong not just for your daughter but for yourself you being and remaining strong will go against everything the in laws say about you.

[Starrlight]

I’m listening and you have my support. ❤️

[Hidden]

That’s a sad situation to be in. My heart goes out to you. 💖

[rillo1472]

You are suffering from depression it may have started with your pregnancy or just after but it clearly has not been resolved. You need to concentrate on getting yourself well and mentally stable before thinking about looking after your daughter as when your depression is not resolved and she is raised as a child in that environment of poor mental health it will certainly have an impact on her development and mental health as children are very perceptive no matter how much you might think she is not aware. You cannot control the things that your ex-husband and in-laws say to her but if they are decent people we hope they would not say anything false about you to her. Only when you are stable mentally can you be strong enough to fight for the right to see your daughter. If you are talking of ending your life and don't seem rational then your husband and his family are unlikely to want your daughter to be around that kind of thinking even if you are her mother and love her. Do your best to get the help to stabilise your depression with medication and get some counselling and once you are feeling better there will be solutions to seeing more of your daughter and building a happy life for yourself. Everyone deserves happiness including you some just have a harder time achieving it because of depression.

[catsrock]

I'm very sorry - sounds incredibly difficult.

[Arymretep]

That’s such a sad story, my heart goes out to you, take carex

[b1b1b1]

Consider hiring a lawyer and pursuing visitation rights for now. In the future it is possible the visitation could expand into something more. Your child has been stolen from you. xx

[ShouldaWouldaCoulda]

I'm so terribly sad that you've been going through such an ordeal. Given where you live and who's around you I don't know if this would work for you but: - make sure to listen to where your daughter is located, where your in laws are located and where your ex husband lives. Any names you hear start writing them down. You may have to wait until your daughter is a legal adult but she has a long life in front of her! And so do you. You owe it to attempt to contact her when she can make up her own mind. You sound like a beautiful soul and I urge you not to give up.....wait as patiently as you can.