Metaphors

[Magicdreamer]

I'm currently staying with my Dad and step Mom and remember through my teenage years that all the expensive and really nutritional food was hidden away so my brother and I had no access to it.... I've been denying this ever since pretending that I come from a loveable home where all my needs were met but the truth is, I've been denying it. I've been trying to change them, trying to get them to acknowledge me in whichever way or form but the truth remains, it is and never has been about me. These are the bloody beliefs I've adopted through my childhood that I'm not worthy of the quality things in life because of someone else's belief system. So, tonight I sit down to have dinner and notice that the omega 3 oil is not on the table so immediately get defensive and mumble under my breath that because they've seen me using it the other night that it's now been kept away.... I then wash my dish and start another conversation saying, hold on, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions and maybe it's finished ( I'm a vegetarian so healthy oils is essential). We've never eaten together as a family and I eat alone and then my dad and step Mom eat after me (major dysfunctional)..... Anyway, on my way outside I see the oil on the table there for my dad to use. The metaphor is, I've never been worthy enough in their eyes because they believe I'm not important which is actually their own messed up belief system from when they grew up which I adopted thinking it was me when all the time, it's never been about me! So, now I get to let go of that constant need for their attention and live my life according to how I truly want to. Thank you for reading.

[hypercat54]

Yes I have been there too. I had to accept that my parents especially my mother couldn't give me the love and approval I needed as it just wasn't in her. I eventually gave up and sought it from friends and bf's elsewhere. You can't get blood out of a stone.

Well done on your decision. x

[Magicdreamer in reply to hypercat54]

Thank you for helping me see that as I like that analogy. Xc