Does anyone else

Hi All, I'm just wondering does anyone else feel like me, I don't know if it's depression or normal.

I wake up in the morning n think what have I got to do today, I go out in my car and think what is everyone doing, where they all going.

I know it's normal society, but I think everyone has no time to worry like me, my heart is destroyed, lost my little girl threw social services, she now lives with her dad , I cannot accept it get over it, I am so lonely.

I know you will all think I'm a bad mom, but it's not like that, I'm thousands in debt because of court, I just can't believe what's happened, how do I get over it?

I never done anything wrong, just anonymous referrals ect ect. You are all proberley reading this like I was wrong, my daughter is my world.. Please tell me how u would deal with it xx finally I got 50/50 but I feel so down their is no help out their, I just want normality xx

[Vonnah]

I'm sorry you are going through that. Just try to focus on the things you can change. Then the other stuff will be handled in time.

What do you mean? You lost your child only because of debt? Like because you struggle with money? If so that's crazy and bot fair at all😕 i hope you get her back! 😔

Don't give up!!!!! For her!!!!!!💜💪

[Hidden in reply to Vonnah]

Hiya no I'm thousands in debt because of family court. Like last time I went it cost £1200 for the day for a barrister. Thank you for answering so quickly, it means a lot, it just so hard, I'm so lonely.. It's not not like I'm ill and get over it, it shouldn't of happened. I swear on my life, children services make mistakes .

It's destroyed me they have destroyed my daughter's life and mine

People tell me to join self help groups but it ain't possible, I see people with kids that shouldn't be, it is so wrong

[Vonnah in reply to Hidden]

You should try to report what they did. Maybe try getting some kinda help. Do you have other family members who can agree with your side of the story and maybe help get your daughter back? Did they give you visitation? They really messed up did her father falsely report you or lie?

[jrcnpg]

To get the pessimistic narrative out of the way, there must have been a decision made first by the social services team and second by the Judge to remove your daughter to the care of her father. Now for the positive bit, I was in a similar situation myself when my now ex-wife petitioned for divorce which was a mutual agreement. She had been conducting an extra-martial affair and we both made a claim for the Residency of our three children, three boys. Although the divorce was mutual and therefore very quick, the Residency case took three years to come to the Court's List yet when it actually did come before a Judge it took twenty minutes of him listening to my barrister question the validity of the Court Welfare Officer's testimony before he began to question her comprehensively himself something my barrister remarked to me that in the whole of his time as a practicing barrister he had never known that to be the case. The Judge ordered a twenty minutes recess saying that once reconvened 'common sense' would prevail. At the time I was crippled with anxiety yet the Judge dismissed that as inadmissible and he found in my favour. My ex-wife's entire defence rested on the fact that my mental health issues prevented me from looking after the children in an appropriate manner, that in light of the fact that she spent fifteen weeks away from the former marital home with her boyfriend with no contact whatsoever with the children. Obviously, the Judge's decision was influenced by that revelation and accordingly awarded Residence to me with 'reasonable access' to the Mother. On a visitation, she took the children to Australia and I have not seen them since. There would be time and room for an appeal and I would go for that were I now in the situation I was in. Love is strong, love is final and love is unconditional when children are involved. Despite the cost, although I do understand that those costs are crippling, I would be there like a shot. I understand your misgivings but children are children. I wish you well, my friend.

[Hidden in reply to jrcnpg]

Hi so how long is it since you saw your children. ?

Why didn't you act on what the mother did, how old a your children.

Yes social services were all for the father, he has one other daughter who's mother is a S.W the judge chose to listen to cafcass recomendations

I tried everything, you seem quite harsh on me, you said for the positive bit, but said nothing positive.

So how do you deal with it? Have you moved on?

I want to move on but it's so hard,

I would die for my daughter , your response is so typical, a bad mom.

But I'm not, I can't change the outcome, just want to be able to move on,

to the Swcom

[jrcnpg]

I'm sorry if you thought I was demeaning you in any way. For the negative side, I simply wished to give you the worst case scenario. I definitely understand your current position because, as I said, I went through the same, or similar, process. It is your love for your daughter which will be your best defence. Love for your children is paramount. Court is a very dark and forbidding experience and your barrister should be aware of that and fight tooth and nail for you not be called to the witness box. I last saw my children when the oldest one was ten. I have three boys, Sebastian, 35, Tobias 29, and Joshua 22. I didn't do anything about her taking them to Australia at the time because I was absolutely crippled with anxiety which turned into a very, very long trip down into depression. That was the worst time of my life. I was sectioned then and spent three months in a psychiatric unit. I haven't moved on because I simply cannot. I sent birthday cards, Christmas cards and letters to my children but I had a very terse note from their Mother which said 'They are my children. Please, do not try to get in touch with them. They are none of your business'. You are not a bad mother from what I can tell and I'm sorry, very, very sorry if you thought I was suggesting that. I, too, would die for my children if that would contribute to their lives. I thought I did offer you some positive advice. Please let me know how you go on.

[Hidden in reply to jrcnpg]

Thank you for your reply, it is appreciated.

Court is finally over, I have my daughter 3 nights one week and 4 nights another.

It's hard because as mother, I want to be able to do normel things, however as father has residence he gets all the money, but it is me buying everything and struggling, I am trying to get back to work,

But difficult as I need it to work around the days I have contact, which is tues, we'd, Friday one week,

And Tues,we'd sat and sun to school mon on week two. School holidays is 75% with me, 25 with him.

I do all the driving 300 miles a month, as he dosent drive, he has such a easy life, a free council house,

I have a mortgage . I could go on for ever, he know I'm struggling out of work, his attitude is you wanted to see more of her, I even take my daughter to gymnastics every Monday which isn't my day.

My daughters wish was to live with, when asked by a S.W however this got twisted by S.W and judge chose to ignore it.

If I go back to work, he will struggle with school holidays, as he basically doesn't have her during them. But I'm thinking I got to work to pay bills, and provide for my daughter,

The way it's been settled is a mess, with my poor daughter stuck in the middle.

Every time she is with me, she wants to see her maternal grandparents as she misses them, and cousins etc.

Im sick of crying, and need to rebuild my life.

I'm over sensitive at moment, and need to get back to society.

[jrcnpg]

I feel for you, I really do. Having to rearrange your life in order to satisfy the judgement of the Court is not nice at all. In one sense I was lucky because my ex-wife was not in the country to be recalled to Court for the Judge to explain to her that she had no legal right to take the children on holiday without my permission let alone a foreign country to live. I could now drag her back to Court on a legal technicality because theoretically, she is still in contempt of court but too much has happened for me to be so bitter. It would not be fair to the children as you mentioned. I looked after the children from birth because with the first child, Sebastian, she had post-natal depression and we hardly saw her. With the other two she couldn't wait to get back to work. It was only later that I was told she had begun an affair with a work colleague just after the last boy was born. I had no idea. She said in her affidavits that she did not intend to re-marry, re-locate but she was married very shortly after that (only to be rid of my surname) and she upsticks first to somewhere in Cheshire before deciding to go to Australia. I had to be told about that by my ex-next-door-neighbour. You will probably be able to look after your daughter better than your ex and the only advice I can give you about that is to carry on the way you are for maybe six months and then re-apply for full Residency of your daughter. That way you will be able to let the Judge know that you are more than capable of meeting the needs of your daughter. My sister recently died but when she was living I used to go on the bus every Sunday to visit her (I don't drive) and every Sunday I used to see a young lad with his son and two carrier bags, one full of clothes, the other filled with toys and I used to think that I could never be in such a situation. It doesn't take into account the children at all. Emotions do not count in Court, only hard grizzly facts and they have nothing whatsoever to do with the well being of the children. I wish you well, my friend.

[Hidden in reply to jrcnpg]

Hi you too have had it hard, I wish you well my friend, and appreciate what you have shared with me, and your words of encouragement. Thank you

[jrcnpg]

My pleasure. Take care, my friend. I'll be thinking of you.

John