Verbally and sexually Abused

[FarmLady1967]

When I was growing up my mother verbally abused me through out my childhood years. She told me I was fat and ugly and no man would ever want me. She said I was a mistake, I was the only girl out of 3 brothers and my mom and dad didn't want a girl. My mom and dad both called me the "B" word almost every day. My mom also told me I was the devil and when bad things happened it was my fault because I was evil. When I was 15 years old, my father asked me to perform sexual acts for him. All of these things have stuck with me even now as I am 57 years old and those painful words still are forever fresh in my mind. Now I don't feel worthy of a man's love, I feel to fat and ugly just like my mom used to say. I've been divorced for 19 years and haven't been in a relationship since then. I'm starting to feel like I'm going to spend the rest of my life alone because like my mom would say, no man will ever want me.

[So_It_Goes]

you are beautiful, you are worthy, you deserve to be happy.

I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through- I can’t even begin to imagine how it would affect the way someone would look at themselves and the world.

But know- you are an amazing individual worthy of unconditional love, respect, and happiness!

Always here if you need support ❤️

[FarmLady1967 in reply to So_It_Goes]

Thank You, your kindness means a lot!!

[So_It_Goes in reply to FarmLady1967]

Always here if you need any support

[FarmLady1967 in reply to So_It_Goes]

The song "Perfectly Loved" by Rachael Lampa says it all

[So_It_Goes in reply to FarmLady1967]

Never heard it before now- added to the playlist

[Arymretep]

Im so sorry for all you went through, no child should have to endure such things, have you ever talked to anyone about this , it might help you , we are all here for you x

[Vonus5591]

Your parents were the worst. But you are so much more than them. Concentrate on yourself and not them. Self care and your happiness and health. Focus mostly on your mental health

You are brave, beautiful and intelligent person

[Starrlight]

(((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))

[hypercat54]

Hi this is Childhood Emotional Abuse (CEN). Please have a look at the link

bing.com/search?pglt=43&q=c...

As well as sexual abuse too. I didn't get that but did the CEN so can relate to what you are saying.

The good news is that you can largely heal from it through therapy. It doesn't involve forgetting or forgiving but you need to move on past it for your own sake.

I hope this has helped a bit.

[FarmLady1967]

Thank all of you for your kindness 💕

[RoseyViolet]

You are loved, you are wanted, you are worthy. Please replace all the negative comments with truth. I too experienced CSA in my family of origin background and I understand toxic words being spoken over you. However, you CAN "flip the script" when those ugly, untrue words creep into your mind..I listen to Joyce Meyer a lot. She was abused sexually by her Dad and had a Mother who stood by doing nothing about it. She has a podcast called, Enjoying Everyday Life. She wrote a fantastic book called, The Battlefield of the Mind, in it she speaks on exactly what you are struggling with. She calls it, Stinkin' Thinkin'. She gives tool and tricks to reversing the script that other spoke over you and how to overcome them. It really helped me a ton.

Just because your beginning didn't start like you had wanted or needed it to, doesn't mean your ending has to follow and you deal with what others placed upon you. You really CAN have victory!! I pray you begin to see that you are highly valuable and you are worth every effort and live a life of love and positivity towards yourself.

[FarmLady1967 in reply to RoseyViolet]

Thank you RoseyViolet... I do listen to Joyce Meyers, she is very inspiring. I have also read some of her books. Thank you for your kindness 🙏 I know with God's help, I can heal and overcome the trauma from my past. Life is a journey and healing takes time, but I am on my way to Brighter Days! God bless you 🙏