For about 2 months now I've been struggling with suicidal thoughts and also going through bipolar depression. It's like I'm losing everyday, when I think I'm getting depression just comes back again. I think about killing myself everyday and I fight these thoughts all the time. I don't get a lot of support from my family and that makes things very hard. I feel so alone....
#MentalillnessIsReal
Written by
Joy28
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Hi Joy. I've dealt with these thoughts as well. Ask yourself this: do you want to not be here anymore, or do you just want relief from pain? I found that the latter was always the case for me, once I took time to really look at it.
I have been there. Trust me. I totally understand. But knowing that what you really want is to end the pain and that this is different from giving up on the rest of your life is important. There will come a time where this acute pain will be in your past and you will have a life that you enjoy living. We're just in a dark tunnel at the moment. All tunnels end, so you don't need to. Of course, if you start feeling like you might hurt yourself, go for help immediately. I did, and I needed to.
I hope things will get better soon. I'm in South Africa and mental illness is not taken seriously here. I'll be seeing my psychiatrist next week l, I hope I'll be able to survive till then.
You can totally survive. Keep in touch with us here as much as you need to.
Thank you for being so honest with the way you are feeling. You are not alone!! I struggle with similar thoughts. When I get really deep into depression I get out a daily calendar. I try and list out at least one thing on every day that I can look forward to. Even if it’s something small like a tv show. That has really helped me to look forward to things.
Please feel free to message me anytime if you want to talk!! 💜💜
Rose I feel so alone. I pretend to be okay everyday because my family doesn't believe in mental illness. I overdose with sleeping tablets so that I can just sleep and not feel the pain
Do you have anyone who you feel WILL support you? It can be so comforting sometimes just to have someone to be with you when you're feeling like that. I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Please seek help (Suicide Hotline is a great source!) if you feel like the suicidal thoughts are becoming powerful.
I to have those thoughts from time to time. I stop and look st my blessings. Things could be so much worse for me. I have days I struggle to get out of bed. My kids don’t understand. They are grown. Just try to look at your blessings. And know things will get better.
You know I had a good day. A blessing. I seen two of my grandsons. And my oldest son who I have not seen in a year. That is what keeps me going. That hug from my son. Omg!! I can’t explain the love. I hope your day today is better!!! We have to count on those blessings to get us out of our slumps.
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