Suicidal Thoughts

[Enn3]

Hi. I've been dealing with reacuring depression for 5-6 years now. I'm a 24 year old female. I've been doing really well for the past year only having small depressive episodes at a time and they were very managable. But for the past 3 months it's been getting more frequent as more events wede occuring such as a breakup then a new job with huge responsibilies and family drama etc.. yesterday i found myself on bed contemplating ending my life and sleeping comfortably to that thought which hasn't happened in over 2 years now. I don't know what to do especially that i live in a conservative country and its really hard to get professional help.

[hacker1]

Do you talk with a psychiatrist

[Enn3 in reply to hacker1]

No. Its not easy in my area.

[JtimmyT]

I think you could do with someone to help talk about your problems,I can see how all these problems piling up on you are making you ill.

You could try asking Samaritans and Papyrus if they are willing to do email with someone abroad.

What country are you from if you mind me asking? If you go to a doctor / GP and ask if you can see a psychologist or therapist to help with your problem, they might know of someone. You could also try online therapy, but unsure about costs etc.

I'm sorry I'm little help.

But don't suffer alone, there are people out there who can do their best help you, something suicide won't help you.

Try to break your problems into smaller chunks with the biggest and go down from there.

You can get advice online or look if you can get a therapist to talk to.

[Enn3 in reply to JtimmyT]

Thank you for replying. I am from Saudi Arabia. I studied university abroad and went to therapy for my depression not that it helped much honestly but at least i was talking to someone professional. There are psychiatrists here but its a big hastle and all my family would have to know which would overwhlem me even more because they are one of the biggest triggers for my depression and i just dont feel like anything but wanting to die. Thats all. I really dont know how to help myself and every logical solution does not make sense to my brain if that makes sense?

[JtimmyT in reply to Enn3]

Ok, well first of all, this is your life, if you end it, there's no turning back.

You have choices in life, you could travel, move abroad working or studying or volunteering, move away from your parents if you want to. They can't control you. Only you can. Their opinions should not impact you. So you'll need to train your mind to not give in. Don't let all these things inside your mind bottle you up.

Do you think it is possible to move away? Do they have to know everything you do and where you go?

I think you could do with a fresh start.

[fauxartist in reply to Enn3]

I completely understand what your saying about having everything piling up and overwheming you. And I'm sorry your so depressed that you don't see these problems ending....but if I may suggest....can you try to de-stress your situation in anyway...less hours at work....try to put space between you and family drama somehow...always have something you have to be doing when you know you might be caught up in it, etc. I'm glad your sharing here, hopefully that will help some for you.

[pink83737]

Hi, Enn3 you can text this hotline to help rather than calling if it makes you more comfortable, the number is 741-741. Please remember this "The rain doesn't last forever, soon the sun will shine." Hang in there, things are gonna get better again please stick around to see that. Please please don't end your life, don't let an illness like this make you. Anxiety is an awful things and it sucks so much, but if i can get through it so can you and its okay to reach out for help, I had to do it all the time and it has helped me get the help i needed.