Depressed and in menopause

[Sigh_42]

I have been through several depressive phases in my life. But lately a new wave has hit me. I seem to be irritated all the time, have lost my purpose in life, feel unappreciated and unloved. I am unhappy with my current professional situation and struggling in my marriage. I am constantly tired, and every task to do seems like too much. I don’t feel like I have any place anymore. I am usually someone who gets up and tries to change what bothers me. But now I simply don’t have the strength. I want to sleep all the time.

After my mother died five years ago, I went to a difficult phase too, but not as bad as this. A year ago it seemed like I was getting better. I could even be happy again at times. But a couple of months back it all started dwindling downwards again.

I don’t feel I can talk to friends, as they are busy with their lives too. My husband can’t understand as he’s had much more difficulties in his life than me, and he always pulls himself together again. But it’s significant, because I feel I have no moral support in my life at this time. I am 53 and in my menopause. I wonder if this could be related, and if anyone else is experiencing this? Thank you for taking the time to read and to share your experiences/thoughts.

[Mary-intussuception]

The Menopause, on top of everything, won't help. I bled heavily for 7 days every 2 weeks. So half of the time I was heavily losing. Plus pre-menstrual problems. & with no moral support.

That was more than ten years ago - glad it's in the past.

Had late diagnosis of Hashimoto's Autoimmune Thyroiditis and Hypothyroidism five years later at age 58. So this was underlying everything.

Have you ever had Thyroid Function blood tests or any Thyroid Antibodies tested? To rule out Thyroid problem?

Ask for some blood tests to check some nutrients levels also - especially Vitamin D, Calcium, Vitamin B12, Folate and Ferritin. You could have some deficiencies / Anemias and need prescribed supplements.

You will get through this - try get as much rest as you can. Drink lots of water, eat well. Try not to expect too much of yourself, or others, just now.

Be extra kind to yourself - you deserve some kindness.

Sending Love

♡

xXx

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

[Sigh_42 in reply to Mary-intussuception]

Thank you for your kind answer, very helpful indeed. I did get my nutrition levels checked, they seem to be ok. But not expecting too much of myself is probably a very sound advice. I need to be more gentle towards myself. It’s a never ending theme in my life. Thank you Mary-intussuception 🙏

[hypercat54]

Hi I remember being in my 30's and we had health checks at work. I was a bit worried about how the menopause could affect me in the future as my mother had a very hard time. The nurse said that it doesn't cause more problems but it can make existing ones worse. I have never forgotten that and found it to be true later.

I started mine early at 42 and found I became very emotional with my feelings really up and down. I also got killer hot flushes. I did eventually go on HRT and the difference was amazing, so I recommend that.

I am now well past that and life is much better. I am much less moody, less depressed, and the freedom of not haing to worry about it or getting pregnant is fantastic. I feel more like I did as a child, carefree and more myself.

So seek help to get you through it. x

[Sigh_42 in reply to hypercat54]

Thank you so much, sounds like that health nurse is right. I get killer hot flashes too, and feel that I’ve been thrown back into my teenage years, with mood swings and weight gain. The weight gain I could manage by changing my diet. But it is true the sensitive and melancholy side of is getting the better of me. I do not want to take hormones. But maybe seeking help is good advice. Thank you very much👍

[hypercat54 in reply to Sigh_42]

It's only like taking ny med that could help. HRT helps especially if you are working and have to present a face to work. x

[Sigh_42 in reply to hypercat54]

I can imagine! I have that problem too...

[hypercat54 in reply to Sigh_42]

Me too! It got to the stage where I burst into tears in the office coz I got a phone call and couldn't deal with it. I resisted it for 4 years and told the doctor I was getting bad flushes and night sweats. He said 'Anxiety and depression too?' I said omg yes! I too found it just like being a teenager again with raging hormones which was dreadful. All taking HRT will do is even out your moods again so you can cope better. They won't do you any harm.

After all if you had a headache you would take paracetomal wouldn't you? If you hurt yourself you would take painkillers or would you try and tough it out? If you don't want HRT though that is up to you of course, but if it helps then why not? x

[fauxartist]

Yes...if I were you....I would get a blood work up and it will check your hormone levels. For women...we are blessed with this additional hell in life...menopause....when I started with my symptoms.....I was always tired, lost my drive, my hair started thinning, I was irritable, cried for no reason, my already existing depression got worse, weight gain, either sleeping too much and eventually not being able to sleep at all.....the list is endless and different for every women. My additional gift was the onset of cluster migraines which my mother also developed at menopause....I never had them before in my life...Some have no symptoms during the change, and others have everything and a complete personality change.....

You can take hormone replacement therapy, and I went to my doctor who prescribed a natural hormone replacement therapy and my pharmacist made the compound. It worked just great....but some women use the synthetic patch or pill....but if you have any family history of cancer....don't take it....go with the natural. My sister had breast cancer so I had to be careful. Eventually the majority and severity of the symptoms over the years will lesson for some, they did for me.....but it still always is an issue.

You can survive this though....just do what ever you need to, knowledge is power sista....

[Sigh_42 in reply to fauxartist]

Oh sounds exactly like me!!! Glad to hear that I am not the only one going through this hell. I have heard about natural hormones, and I do have a history of cancer in my family. So I might look into this, thank you 🙏

[fauxartist in reply to Sigh_42]

Many people buy the supplements at the health food store, but they are not regulated dosages, and if your lucky enough to be in a city where they have pharmacists that do make up the compound correctly for you, it can make a huge difference. But you can find some relief with some of the over the counter stuff, you just have to be consistent.

Another thing to address is if you already have a pre-existing condition of depression, if you do, you need to treat that as well.... some of us take SSRI's and others are resistant or try alternative methods. They are not a cure....but for me....they do make a difference.

[Sigh_42 in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you! We have good pharmacists here, will ask around.

[2017runner]

I can relate to what you are saying. I am 49 this year and I am a mess. I have suffered from depression during my life but over the past few years my life has completely unravelled. I am stuck in a boring low responsibility job because I can’t cope with anything else at the moment. My children are growing up and I have completely lost my purpose in life. I know I should try and live in the moment and be grateful for my family but I feel lost, useless and a burden.

Sending you love and hoping you can find someone to talk to x

[Sigh_42 in reply to 2017runner]

Thank you 2017runner, I can totally emphasize! But there seems to be some good advice in the answers I got above. Maybe these could help you too? Sending you lots of good thoughts! 🤗

[Mary-intussuception in reply to 2017runner]

🌹♡🌹

xXx

[Sigh_42 in reply to Mary-intussuception]

❤️

[Destiny8277 in reply to 2017runner]

I to feel what is my purpose. My children grown. Hate bothering them. They have their own lives to live. Divorced now 3 years after a 24 year marriage. ( he changed when our daughter passed 5 years ago. Not for the good) I got fired from

My job. I just can’t seem to get up and go. I didn’t even care I was fired. Been there a long time. Not that my boss didn’t try to understand my issues. Poor guy. I just want to sleep. I’m on meds for depression. I see a therapist. I want to feel normal again. I try to look at my blessings. Things could be so much worse. But my depression. Takes over. I’m 53. Just stay to myself. After our daughter died. Life just changed and is so hard.

I wish you the best. Your not alone.

[Sigh_42 in reply to Destiny8277]

Thank you so much, I can see that it’s obviously something that bothers many women my age. Only wonder why there’s so little knowledge shared. Mostly it’s either “matter of fact” information or soppy books about women trying to reinvent themselves... not much about how it really can be. It seems as if a lot of it is still hush hush...

[hypercat54 in reply to Sigh_42]

Well I had a number of friends and acquaintances who suffered too so I knew I wasn't alone with it. it did really help sharing our stories. x

[Ketzel]

Oh sister, I hear you! I'm 50 and had everything removed (ooph- and hysterectomy). I was in a similar situation. I had a medical reason to get the surgery (fibroids), but it wasn't life threatening in a physical sense. I had many discussions with my doctor. I said please take it all out. In the emotional/suicidal sense, it was totally necessary. I didn't want to live. I felt the best times of my life were over. The surgery is no fun, and my body went through a tough adjustment. I had the surgery over a year ago, and I'm finally feeling that maybe I still do want to participate in life. I lost weight - didn't try, just did. I take Estradiol (estrogen) every day to make up for the loss of the ovaries. I'm in a place now where I'm dealing with a bunch of baggage that I'm unloading. Speak with your Obgyn. There are bioidentical hormone creams, cortisol/adrenal support creams, and surgery as a last resort. I feel for you.

[Sigh_42 in reply to Ketzel]

Oh thank you!!! I hear you! So far I still managed without anything, because of my husband also who basically says those are the years of melancholy for a woman. But even then I sometimes need to hear how others are coping, because the understandings a man is limited. So grateful for your answer, hope you get better in time too 🙏😊

[hypercat54 in reply to Sigh_42]

Your husband wouldn't say that if he was female! x

[Ketzel]

I'm so grateful for this site. I feel less alone. This is a piece of the healing process that was missing for me. I love my friends, but I don't want to drown them in my neuroses. Having this outlet is a life saver- really. I can help others when they are in the midst of bad times. And when I'm in a bad time, I can express myself without guilt to this group of wonderful, generous folks. My menopause contributed to my depression and anxiety. At least I can say that I made it through that phase. With the number of times I tried to end things, there must be a reason I survived. It makes me feel useful to help others and have frank discussions about our horrible disease.

[Sigh_42 in reply to Ketzel]

I absolutely agree, and feel the same, thank you! However, I still think there should be more information and support out there for women in their menopause.