This IS “feeling normal” for me

[Kat63]

I feel anxious, insecure, and depressed all at the same time. My self-esteem is terrible. I feel like people don’t really like me very much. I even doubt if my boyfriend and my family really like me the way I am - I feel like they’re just accepting me, but don’t really enjoy my company.

And I think this is how life is going to be from now on. I’ve had good luck with jobs and money, so I feel bad complaining about feeling unloved. First world problems. But I’ve had trouble being close to people all my life, and I’ve tried everything I can think of to change. I just want to feel like I fit in with other people, and that people like having me around.

I’m trying to get to a point of just accepting that this is how life will be from now on - kind of bleak. I miss times in my past when I felt better, but I’m afraid things like that will never happen again. I’m almost 58 years old, so it’s too late for a lot of things.

[Cb1963]

Hello Kat63, now I don't want to sound to nosey, but do you have a large social circle of friends? Maybe you are missing out a bit on life perhaps? Or do you prefer to have your home comforts? Its difficult trying to understand everything all at once and I was just trying to build up a picture,life can be frustrating, and sometimes we all don't know what we want as we get older, that includes myself,I try not to over think things, and maybe you are a deep thinker, and this can run riot in your head, yes I dwell on the past, and of all the good times I've had,and I hope I'll have some more,I'm roughly the same age as you, and I still have an ember burning in my stomach to do more things with my life,but and this is a big but, I just do things on the spur of the moment,and it's to please me,yep,because if no one else will do it, well, I'm going to be stuck,bored,and unhappy,and that's not me, we are all different,and are personalities are who we are,this is what makes the world go round,as for being to late,don't look at clock,it's your life,and try to enjoy it😊

[Kat63 in reply to Cb1963]

I think a big part of my problem is the COVID lifestyle. I’m introverted, and sort of a homebody…..but this is getting to be too much alone time even for me. I need to get out more, but I’m afraid to join any activities, like a gym.

My family is 650 miles away, and I haven’t seen them in two years - thanks to the COVID virus. I did get to see my best friend in August, and my aunt in June. But that just makes me want more time with the people I love and like.

[Cb1963 in reply to Kat63]

Ah yes, I understand, i also have family a far away, but not quite that far, maybe 280 miles, and have done numerous journeys, but always on the train, and use a advanced ticketing website to keep costs down, i enjoy the travelling, and make it part of my schedule,perhaps the covid situation has got you into a different routine,and if you can manage to do something different during your weekly routine you may feel differently.

Don't be afraid of trying something new,this will open your mind,body and soul to something that can help ease you into a taking you to places that you haven't tried before, and who knows you might enjoy it,and that's what life is all about,we can end up being stuck in a very monotonous situation, and you need to break the mould, best of luck 😀

[Roxylox]

Hello snd welcome. Opposite to you. I'vr had no luck with jobs. Also though, lots of pdople fon"t like me I feel the only one who really does is my husband, I'm 56. I really don,'t geel that's too late.

I thinl people don't like me 'cos I'm a little socially awkward and they simply don't understand me. So they think I'm weird. I do likd myself though, do you like yourself?

[Kat63 in reply to Roxylox]

Sometimes I like myself, but a lot of the time I really don’t.

[Roxylox in reply to Kat63]

What's not to like? You don't have to answer. I too have a couple of friends who are quite a distance away .

[Daveacr1959]

Hi, I can only share what helps me. 7-8 hours of sleep each night. 45 minutes of daily cardio exercise to produce endorphins that battle your anxiety and depression. After my Luke warm shower, a 5 minute pure cold shower. Google cold shower therapy for anxiety and depression. Then I don’t think the rain and sun made all the life on the planet by accident. So I talk to god . Just like I’m talking to you. No book has helped me figure out god . I just think it’s all too amazing to be an accident. So I am thankful to god . I take my medicine from the dr . And these things and my family help me.