Anxious depressed and lonely - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

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Anxious depressed and lonely

LaLiLu profile image

Hi, I just joined this morning. It has actually taken me several hours to get up the nerve to even say hi. For the past couple of years I have been dealing with depression and anxiety. It's a very sad and lonely existence, I have a beautiful family that I love very much. My children are all grown with families of their own and are all very busy living life. I have a wonderful husband that lives mostly alone because I spend most of my time in my room. We have meals together and watch a little TV together but that's pretty much it. I have been retired for a year and a half, and have gone downhill since. I feel as though I have completely lost who I am. The one thing I have that brings me happiness a few times a week is my youngest grandson, he is almost 3. When he is here I feel alive again and my heart is full, as soon as he leaves I can't wait to get back in my bed. I started taking anti depressants almost 2 months ago, I really don't feel any different. Just feeling lost.

24 Replies


LaLiLu profile image
LaLiLu in reply to Iloveart7

Thank you!

Welcome, I just joined as well.

LaLiLu profile image
LaLiLu in reply to Giants_fan

Yes I just read your post. Welcome to you as well.

hi why don't you take up volunteering in the local community its a great way to do something good with your time and the chance to meet new friends.and before I forget welcome to you also.

Loneliness can make you feel really depressed. You are not alone. Some people have said they feel lonely even when they are with people. Isn't that strange?

LaLiLu profile image
LaLiLu in reply to

Aloha, and thank you. I understand that feeling very well, feeling alone even in a room full of people! That feeling of not belonging. Never understood why though. 🤔😊

in reply to LaLiLu

I can understand how different life is once you have retired and your family have left the nest. Your grandson sounds great. It's wonderful to have that contact with the very young. You are useful and needed. Suppose it takes time to reconnect with your husband as the underlying depression can prevent you from wanting to go out. We try to have a couple of days a week going out for a drive, or a walk - having a cup of coffee or packing a picnic. Do you think you have grown apart - as you are so happy with your grandson this is the one motivation to keep going. If you disappeared a light would go out in your families lives. Know where you are coming from feeling the odd one out - sometimes your responses can be slower to conversation and you switch off and withdraw. Do you avoid conflict or have a row? It's finding that spark again which might turn your life around.

LaLiLu profile image
LaLiLu in reply to

Wow thank you for your encouraging words. My husband and I just returned from a very nice walk. It was me that got up got dressed and lead him out the front door! It's usually him trying to get me to crawl out of my cave. Somedays I don't even get out of bed. First steps!

Hello and welcome.

I’m glad you found us here 😊

You are not alone...


hi well as depression retirement has its affect on suddenly,stop what you've been doing all your life,and have thoughts like who am I,and so retired and y not alone in your feelings.i have every thing beutifull house .wonderfull nieces and sister.

but feel more secure in my own little world.i don't realy have a ancer for you lal,pehasps

one day,you will wake up and feel like starting afresh.anyway best of luck,you should make

many friends on this site,because they are all wonderfull people.peekeneese.

Hi peekeneese, thank you for your kind words. I know my retirement plays a huge role in my depression. My entire life I have always had that reason to get up and do, now I look inside and I can't find it. I'm sure I will eventually find myself, until then all of the kind words here have put a smile on my face. Thank you

in reply to LaLiLu

You're right about the downside of retirement. It's not easy to replace the structure, purpose and social contact that a job gives you. I think it's important to find something (several things) meaningful and challenging to fill that gap. I know I need to do more, but sometimes, especially in winter, it's easy to find excuses for not moving out the chair !

I know how you feel, because of my anxiety and depression I am alone even though my kids live with me they have decided to isolate me cause this is the only way they can deal with me. Ive been retired over 2 years, I've been trying to find a job but no one will hire me because of my age. My grandson lives with me, I love him to death but he so hyper that he makes me anxious. I do spend time with him, but not as much as I would like to. My medication is helping but I'm still having issues. You said your medication isn't helping you, you should change it?


The question is what define us as human been? And the answer is the fact that we care about the others. So let us be human and think less to us and more to others.

Welcome Lalilu


Hi I know how you feel..I had my grandson live with me for two and half years along with my son and his mum ..when they moved out I felt lost and sad..had to give my job up two hrs ago as my daughter has autism and tourettes...j know how lonely it can get...I developed anxiety and health anxiety last year which rendered me to my daughter just kept sHing I want my mum back which made me feel so bad...slowly I am returning..try and do one positive thing everyday even a little walk that's what I done to build my confidence again ..even if I just sat in the garden or sorted through things that needed throwing...

Chappy12 profile image
Chappy12 in reply to Chappy12

Two years

I spent nearly 4 months in my bed or on it..frightened to leave because I wasn't sleeping..due to anxiety..convinced myself I was dying regardless of medical tests all coming back good...I developed hypochondria.fear of being left on my own ..sleeping on my was horrible...slowly but surely I came out of my room..walked to shop on my own not big things little things and I was's about restoring that faith in yourself...I haven't sat in my bedroom for four mths now..I'm sleeping better..I go out with my grandson as long as someone else is with me.. I need to work on this one area still .but it will come . Xxx

Welcome to this great group! And yes - I have heard from many people it's hard to retire. The golden years? Leave you wondering "what now?" But I agree with Kenster1. Volunteering may really help you. Maybe reading to kids in the elementary school or helping at a retirement home? The walks are great for you too! Keep it up!

Hi, I am new also. I have almost the same life as you, my husband is either working or watching football! So I watch tv in my room. My kids are all grown also. So are my grandkids! We have 3 great grandsons, but they all live far away from us. My step son and his (14) year fiancé moved into our basement in November. Now I stay in my bedroom even more. I can’t wait to go shopping because I just hate being home. They are working on getting their own place. But it’s slow... he’s only working a part time job and she does nothing 🙁

Anyway, I feel like the maid, cooking and cleaning constantly!! Then I go to my room! I’m SO depressed! I pray that they move soon. It doesn’t help that it’s freezing cold outside!! Can’t even walk! We live out in the woods on a dirt road.

So I feel trapped, trying desperately to have patients. I have been suggesting hubby take me places on Saturdays, that has helped a little.

Maybe you could get your husband to take you to a movie or dinner.

Welcome LaLiLu! When you have full days with nothing really pressing to do ,it can be scary and depressing at first. I volunteer two days a week at local centers. I also made a list of books I wanted to read( but never had the time to read) and purchased them. I'm on my third book now. I also purchased some online classes that sounded interesting and do them when I feel in a funk. Maybe plan a short trip with your husband. Even a day trip is good.

Hi, I’m 59 and I have suffered with depression and anxiety all my life. Some days are good and others just unbearable. I haven’t been out my house for 6 years. I do go to church on Wednesday and Sunday. My faith gives me hope. I tried to commit suicide several years ago. I was in a coma for a month. The doctors said I wouldn’t make it through the night. As you can see, I made it. I was on life support for a month. I’ve taken so many meds for such a long time. Now I think they aren’t working so well. I can certainly understand what you are going through. Ever want to talk, I’m always here.

Welcome sweetheart xx

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