Wow so this was interesting. I just randomly had a panic attack. Being in the dark was scaring me (I love being in the dark) and I couldn't fall asleep. And now I'm frantic as hell and I'm exhausted and burnt out. I really feel somewhat sick and tired.
I really want to leave this place. I don't want to be here. It's not good for me and I'm feeling terrible about myself and in general just SAD. I feel such a strong urge to just...run away. I want to go back home I can't do this. I wake up every day and there's nothing for me to ACTUALLY do. Yeah, I could do random things or watch movies but I don't actually have a REAL purpose. Like what am I doing with my life nothing. I've been on holiday for 4 months and I have 5 more months and I don't think I can make it. I really don't think I can.
I need help. I need to escape. I hate it here and I really just want to leave.