Hi, I just joined the group and am pretty desperate at this point. I have been suffering from anxiety and depression for quite some time now, about 8-9 years. The first trigger was a panic attack where it literally was the most traumatic experience of my life because I had no idea what was going on. To this day, it still haunts me and I am always afraid it is going to happen again. Luckily that particular situation has not come up again, but instead, I am having panic attacks for other reasons. From then on, I have been on an SSRI and am prescribed to a benzodiazepine for when I have an actual attack. I have done a lot of reading on the various anxiety and depressive disorders and have tried to get things under control but nothing has been long lasting. I have seen a few therapists in my day, but the process of finding a therapist that I like and one who is affordable is one of the worst experiences ever. It just seems like at any moment, I can break out into a panic attack. I am very big on trying to limit myself with the medications, i.e. I am taking a very low does of the SSRI and I have a long debate in my head before I actually take a benzodiazepine, and even then I only take half of one. My goal is to be able to kick the SSRI and benzodiazepines to the curb, and live my life again, free of panic attacks. There is just so much more that I want to write and so much more that I want to discuss, but this is my first post so I will leave it at that.