Try living a normal lifestyle and still depressed?

[supreemkai]

I guess from my own experience, I’ve always had negative thoughts for as long as I could remember. I have tried to live “normally” as in exercising, being around people, keeping busy, having a job, going out with people, hobby, etc, everything doctors/medical advice says to counter depression. Although I don’t remember feeling as bad as I do right now, I always remember feeling off, feeling down, negative thoughts, hopeless, lost. I guess I kind of give up, because even if I try to be a normal healthy person I still have this. I don’t know what else to write. I just feel hopeless that I’ll ever get any better. I don’t know.

[9everton]

O how much I relate to your post,I to have suffered anxiety and depression for most of my life.Since Christmas( I was told I had Glaucoma) my anxiety has hit an all time low,like you I have been trying exercise,joined therapy group trying to meditate but this overwhelming feeling of sadness and fear is with me all day every day,I wake up after about three hours sleep and I have to get up and stand by my back door and practice deep breathing I can’t stop crying and my inside goes into a trembling mess.You can write to me anytime I have met some amazing people on this forum ( Thank You Jeff) and they have been their with their support I hope you stay strong and let us try and beat this curse for ever big hug to you xx

[hypercat54]

Hi it sounds like it is way past time to start dealing with the negative thoughts and find their source. Once you can do this you can start healing. Are you seeing a counsellor? x

[supreemkai in reply to hypercat54]

Online therapy, once a week on video call. I’ve been doing cbt but I don’t know if it’s really doing anything

[hypercat54 in reply to supreemkai]

Well I have lived with depression my whole life and have ways to cope with it. I do what I said in my reply and also consciously follow each negative thought with a positive one. I didn't even at one time realise I was doing it. So every time for example I tell myself off for being lazy, I always follow it with a positive thought such as well done for getting up at all feeling the way I do. This helps me a lot but there are still times I go through the whole 'What does it matter anyway' and 'I can't be bothered with it any more and wish I was out of it'. I know with me this passes in time so I just cling on and wait. x