Tired of feeling lost

[Ag1985]

Hello my name is Ari I'm 32 years old . I been going thru some hard times. I feel hopeless, tired , sad always having negative thoughts bout myself. I'm tired of crying and feeling lost. I need help but I don't know where to start. Please help

[melbrown]

Hi Ari. I'm sorry you are going through this pain. Do you have a regular doctor you see? They can help direct you what to do. My doctor is currently helping me. I'm sure there are other ways too.... sure others have ideas. Hope this helps a little. You are reaching out & that's a good start.

Melisss

[Ag1985 in reply to melbrown]

Hi Meliss thanks for your reply . I recently moved to this state and not seeing a doctor . Honestly I don't even know how to bring it up . I feel so dumb, I've always felt strong and thought I could overcome anything but at this moment I feel so useless and even afraid of getting out. How did you ask your Dr. For help?

Respectfully

Ari

[Hidden in reply to Ag1985]

I felt like you Ive always been string and independent it was hard to admit that I was struggling. I went to the doctor with something else then kind of slipped it in that I was a bit low. 10 minutes later he knew how bad I really was had put me on meds and sent a referral for psychiatry assessment. I wish I had sought help sooner before it got so bad. Because I was too emaberrased to ask I ended up in the day hospital for 5 weeks whereas if I had gone sooner I would never have got that bad. My doctor was lovely they have heard it so many times before and will not judge you for it. Please do go and ask for help because it really does make a difference.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Ha ha just realised this was 2 moths ago not sure why it popped up today! Hope you found the courage to go and are starting to feel better x

[Toscana111]

What's the main reason of your pain?

Why are you feeling lost? I'm going through the same feelings. I'm lost and lost myself in the search of what I should do with my life. Be strong.

[Ag1985 in reply to Toscana111]

Hi Toscana, I'm sorry you going thru this as well. I'm 32 years and have 2 wonderful boys recently I move in with my fiancé and because of his job we move up North. I left everything for him my job my family . I relocate the kids to new schools. I'm not working because my fiancé wants me to be available for the boys and him. But lately he seems very distant and he won't talk to me about his reasons. I want to go back home but I'm jobless don't want to move the kids from the school again. I just feel very lost. What about you why do you feel lost ?

[Toscana111 in reply to Ag1985]

Well my situation is smillar in some ways.

I live far away from my hometown too. And Everytime I come back from a extended stay to my host country , I go through mayor anxiety. My new life falls apart. And I start thinking thinking thinking if I should move back home to be closer to family and roots.

But I have a nice life where I am now I just don't seem to see it or feel it when I'm so anxious and sad.

Did you talk to your fiance about your feelings?

[Ag1985 in reply to Toscana111]

Toscana I believe it's normal to miss home and feel sad and anxious after been around your love ones then having to come back to your normal life . I do relate to those feelings. You say that you life it's good where you are ? That's a great thing just hang in there . We woman go they hormonal changes personally I feel worse about myself and my life those days. Not sure if it's your case. Yes I have tried to talked to my fiancé but he seems to get offended and defensive all the time. We talk less we see each other less he says all I do is complain and cry. I do cry a lot and I don't know why !! I feel very emotional and it's hard to focus on anything else when I feel like this. I'm here alone with my boys and they depend on me I need to be strong but I don't know how to be. Have you being diagnosed with depression or anxiety?

[Toscana111 in reply to Ag1985]

I think I am going through depression. I'm seeing a doctor in a few days.

I've been on meds a big part of my life. I've suffered from anxiety and depression more than once. You think as you get older things get better but they get complicated. I live in a really nice place but it's not home and my head keeps bringing me back to my hometown. It's very confusing because I would love to be happy where I am. But when your head takes over your entire being nothing makes sense.

Are you far from your family? Have you looked for a part time job?

How old are your boys?

I'd love to be a mother. Im 34. But I'm scarded to raise my child far from my mom. It's obsessive.

How are your boys coping with the move?

[Ag1985 in reply to Toscana111]

You know I've always been told that I have issues!! Meaning that my head takes me to think I'm all kids of ways. But always been afraid to tell a Dr about this feelings. I'm afraid to be on medication . But like you said you think that it will get better but it's not. My kids are 14 and 9 they miss home a lot too especially their dad. I understand that you want to have a child around your family. It's part of a heathy development on a child I believe. My parents and my siblings all love and care so much about my boys. They have a feeling that something is not right but I can't say anything to them. They all never agreed on me moving this far . Are you married do you have a special person in your life that you can count on? Home is where your heart is and if you don't have kids is easier to start over again. Do you feel that medication has help you feel better in the past and just not working anymore? I been applying for part time job but nothing yet! though of trying yoga or something that can keep my mind off of negative thoughts but I'm scared to even ask . Hope you are feeling better today

[Toscana111 in reply to Ag1985]

I get to go home twice a year. Once for two months and then one more time for 2 weeks. Then my family come and visit. I'm from Toronto and I really never liked the cold winters and fast paste life. I live in Italy with my husband. He is a wonderful man. But I don't see it when I'm so depressed and confused about where I want to spend the rest of my life.

My family is very supportive about my choices and encourage me to stay where I am. They believe that anxiety would fallow me wherever I am. I'm very close to my mom and dad. I work 7 months a year. It's a seasonal job. So that's why I get to go for that long. Yet Everytime I return from a long stay I crack. The not nothing what I should do with my life.

Usually when I start work I feel better cause I'm busy and little time to think. But when I'm in this state of mine I'd like to die. It's that bad.

My advice for you is to go get help by a pro. And yes medications can help. But do you think your depressed? Homesick?

Yoga is wonderful. But you need constant. Meditate also can help

[Ag1985 in reply to Toscana111]

It's wonderful that you get to be home for that much time I know it probablydon't seem to you but really it's a blessing to be able to stay 2 months. You parents and husbandsound wonderful as well. Yes I totally understand you when yet you still feel depressed and feel like dying. That's how I been feeling I see my boys they are healthy kids they are full of energy I should be happy just to have them. But it's not them it's me! I believe I'm depressed and maybe also have somewhat anxiety. At night I feel like my heart starts beating fast I can't sleep I start to sweat and it's like I have a huge weight on my chest and just want to die. I feel that no one can understand me maybe you feel the same ? Does your husbandknow when you have this episodesof depression and if so how does he help you get thru it. ?

[Toscana111]

Omg I so understand you. Going through it right now. It's midnight here and I'm so not well. Had to take some meds to relax. My heart feels like it's going to explode. My head is such in a roller coaster of thoughts, I don't even Know​ who I am anymore.

Haven't had the courage to speak to my husband about this depression episode. He has seen me in the past.

I don't want to hurt him. I'm giving myself a week to start work and get some routine back in my life . If I'm still in the same state after that I will talk with him.

Did you move far from your home? Is your husband enjoying his new job? How long have you been together?

[Ag1985 in reply to Toscana111]

Good morning, I'm sorry you had a bad night also. I been taking valerian root pills and camomile tea to help me relaxed. But it only works for a few hrs then toss and turn all night.

I feel as if my head is attacking me. I have terrible headaches because of thinking so much and crying. How can we stop feeling and thinking like this.

I live in NY right now but my family is in GA in the USA . 2.5 hrs flight but is to expensive to go often.

I been with my fiancé almost 2 years but dating all together 3 years . He is good to my boys and I but I feel that he is not happy with us.

He has change a lot since we moved with him to NY. I love him so much and the thought of him leaving us scares me to dead.

When I ask him about our relationship and if we can set a day for our wedding he gets very defensive and things go bad. I don't want to let him go but I don't want to be in love alone.

This is probably why I'm feeling so down .

How long you been married ? If your husband is aware of this episodes with you I believe you should share this feelings with him. You don't feel bad because of something he is done right.? So make him aware of this . Sometimes it helps to know that your loved one cares and understand you.

We get married thru the goods and the bad! I'm sure that it would make you feel better if you share it with him. 💑

[Toscana111 in reply to Ag1985]

Hey!

Sorry I couldn't write before.

Maybe try giving him some space. Take your boys to the movies. Let him see your independent in this new town.

You should also join a expat group. Look it up expat in Ny.

You can make friends from around the world.

I saw my psychologist today. Had a melt down in her office but I feel better. I have huge issues with dealing with emotions and I fantasize about how my life would be back near family.

I will talk to my husband. Eventually. When I get my act together. Right now am way to vulnerable.

Try meditation....Please try. Down load any app from your phone.

I don't know you but I m huging you real thight.

[Ag1985 in reply to Toscana111]

Thank you for the hugs 🤗. I so happy that you taked to your psychologist and that you feel better.

I've always wanted to talk to someone about this but always been to afraid of been judge find out that really I'm nuts!

Fiancé is going back home for the weekend by himself ... again for job he says. This makes me feel so insecure and anxious.

I will take the boys out tomorrow after school. That will hopefully help .

I never been a fan of social media don't have face book or nothing like it. But I'm glad I can chat with you.

Would your husband ever consider moving to your hometown?

Hugs

[Toscana111 in reply to Ag1985]

Good morning!

You should find the courage to do so...Go see a psychologist. Try it. Don't be ashamed.

Why don't you go back and visit family too?

Do you enjoy ny? Try and socialize a bit. Baby step...Go to local library maybe try a yoga class. Try to make a life of your own. Not depend on your fiance.

Trust is very important in a relationship. It's crucial. Ask him straight out if you should worry about something. If he feels happy in this relationship.

As for my husband, well no he doesn't concider it. Canadian winters are long. And life is different in North America.

Are you still job searching?

I'm starting work today. I'm tired of thinking so now I'll need to concentrate on work and not so much on my thoughts. Baby step.

[Ag1985 in reply to Toscana111]

Good morning.🌞

Im so glad you going back to work and keep yourself busy.

I miss those days , I was very independent when me and my fiancé met but I really didn't have time for my boys . Their grades started to go down and the little one started to gain so much weight because of anxiety.

When we got engaged he ask me to stop working for him and the boys . At first I was scared but he is a great provider. But he controls all the finance that makes me feel controlled.

He didn't take us with him back home because his expenses are paid for and of course is not cheap for 3 to travel.

Do you have family in Italy or in laws ? Maybe you both need to work on having a baby. You will miss home less because you will make your own family.

You are at a very good age to conceive.

I don't like the winters here in NY myself cold weather is. It for me . I guess it can be somewhat like Toronto .

Italy? I always picture it warm with friendly people. Here we have a lot of Italians . Our landlord is Italian very nice people.

I talked to my man before he left yesterday about seeing a Dr. He made fun of me he said it's all in my head . He has changed so much lately.

Have a great day at work look forward to hear how it went . Hugs

[Toscana111 in reply to Ag1985]

Horrible. I've never felt so depressed. I can't stand myself.

I'm hoping a good night sleep will help.

I'll write tomorrow

[Ag1985 in reply to Toscana111]

Im so sorry. Have a good night rest.

[HopingCat]

Sorry you feel this way but you can start by going to a phycologist and psychiatrist

[Ag1985 in reply to HopingCat]

Thank you 😊 I'm really giving it a thought of making an appointment