I haven't been on here in a while, but I have to get these thoughts out some kind of way. I can't bring myself to say how I feel to anyone I know including my therapist. I am 43 with no kids and never married. I used to question why I'm single, but I discovered the answer yesterday. I have gained alot of weight and I feel disgusted with myself. I hate the way I look. Absolutely despise it. How can someone else accept and love me when I don't love myself? I hate being around people. I went to a birthday party last night and I felt so uneasy. It was mostly family and a few asked if I was ok. I guess my discomfort showed on my face, but I did what I always do and lied. I said I was ok. I am not ok. I don't know how to be ok. I want to starve myself so I can lose weight. Even considered bulimia despite knowing that's not a healthy choice. I'm tired of smiling when I am lonely, sad, hurt, angry, and frustrated inside. I'm tired of fighting these thoughts and feelings. I just want to stay in bed.
Disgusted and depressed: I haven't been... - Anxiety and Depre...
Disgusted and depressed
Try to fill up on healthy proteins, like vegetable and berry shakes and a few nuts. Be consistent and positive.
Thank you for the suggestion. The positive part is the struggle, but I'm working on it.
It's hard to be around others when you don't feel good about yourself. Please don't do anything drastic to lose weight. It's unhealthy and the weight comes back easily. Start by trying small things. The way I got myself to drink more water was by using a tip from a friend. If I drink a cup of coffee I then drink the same amount of water. Same thing with soda. A glass of soda then a glass of water. Before I realized it I was drinking mostly water. If I am hungry I eat a piece of fruit before I eat something else. That way I am sure I'm not eating because of my emotions. Park your car a bit farther from a store entrance if the weather is nice. If you feel up to it use the stairs. But do it for yourself not because of what others may think. Everyone has something unique to offer the world. You are important. Always remember that.
P.S. The friend who gave me the tip to start drinking more water didn't get married until she was 51. The right person didn't come in to her life until she was older. She has been happily married for seven years now.
Very helpful information. Thank you so much for sharing.
I hope it helps. I don't feel good about myself either. My weight is pretty stable but there are many other things that make me feel bad. I don't look in a mirror unless I have to. But like everyone else I'm still a work in progress.
I ate poorly in college when I was going through bad times there..gained so much weight someone asked me when I was due.. Crash diets.. Try to incorporate fresh foods and if you drink regular sodas or juice, cut back.. And remember we are here for you
The same has happened to me. I’ve gained like 30 pounds and have shame about it. I’m in my 40’s and single, too. Part of me just feels so hopeless. It just hurts so deeply. I wish I had more hopeful words. I keep moving my body and don’t eat late at night. I feel you, though. It’ll get better.
I appreciate your feedback. I'm sorry you feel that way, but it helps to feel like I'm not alone. It will get better for both of us I hope.
Hey there!That’s good you got that out! Trust me a lot of us feel the same way except we don’t say it. So you’re one step ahead. If you don’t like how you look change it. Once you start to like what you see then other feelings will change too. Find a healthy weight loss for you and go for it.
Thank you for the encouragement!
It's definitely hard to put on the facade. It's good to be happy sure, but it is important to have genuine feelings and work through it naturally.. I know personally how it is to be with family who means well but it's exhausting to hide how you are truly feeling. This is a safe place to feel how you genuinely feel 😍
Thank you for those encouraging words 😊
Of course 😁. If you ever want to chat off the forum I'm here
Hugs!! I Too Have Gained Weight Over The Last Six Or Seven Years And I Question How Others Can Like Me If I Don't Feel The Same About Myself. I Recently Decided To At Least Be As Nice To Myself As I Am To Others, So I Ordered Some Match Tea Powder And Bought Powdered Collegin, And Mix Up A Scoop Of Each With Some Honey In Milk For A Cold Sweet Drink Each Morning. It's A Small Move, But Its A Step To Start To Feel Better About Me And Build A Good Relationship With Myself. Please Give yourself A Hug From Me And Know That You Have A Friend.
Hi, it sort of sucks that for many of us watching our weight is a life time battle. A first step is to write down what you eat. The first week be kind (don’t even guesstimate calories of food. 2 nd week write down what the package or internet says the calories are approximately of whatever you eat. If you screw up one day eat a little less to make up for it. Good luck!!!
Thank you for the advice.
The thing with starving yourself is that it will lead to more weight gain in the end. So never, ever do that. It messes up your metabolism further.There are good ways of losing weight.
But also, research shows that people who lose weight while fantasising about a leaner body are less successful than those who do it to be healthy. That’s because your brain can’t tell the difference between fantasy and reality. It kind of thinks you’ve already achieved that, and then gets frustrated when you still have to “diet”.
I’ve done the ketogenic diet in the past months. The healthy version, of course, not “dirty keto”. It was hard at first. And then it wasn’t.
You can absolutely overcome this.
But you need a little strategy. Going into this while bullying yourself: “I hate you, I hate how you look, you better get in shape fast or I will just be disgusted with you” seems like a short track to the desired end, but as you know, bullying doesn’t work. It’s a negative thing, and we don’t respond well to negativity.
Great advice. I do want to be healthier and that's a better way for me to focus on weight loss. Thank you.
I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. I have struggled with my weight and I know exactly how you feel. It's hard to articulate to others how you are actually feeling. Have you talked with a doctor about your feelings? Maybe talking with a trusted friend or counselor will help. You are a very special person and you are not alone!
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