Depressed and anxiety

[Williams3lw]

I am really having a bad week its been hard to manage. I have been taking meds for about two weeks for anxiety depression and PTSD. Im starting therapy this week. I call 988 all the time. I can't get up some days to do the simple things. I am hopeless. I cry all the time I don't even know why.I do the breathing it doesn't work.I just want to be OK.

[litethatnevergoesout]

hang in there. it takes time.

[Stilltrying2]

Hello Williams3lw,

I am sorry that you are struggling. You said that you have a therapy appointment and you have started taking medication. These are 2 big steps you are taking. Keep working with your doctor on your medication. Together you will find a medicine that is best for you. I know for me it took a while for the medication to reach a therapeutic level. Try to be patient.

I know for me I have to force myself to do things. I feel so much better when I take a walk. It is difficult, but a change in scenery can result in a change in your thought pattern. It can also release chemicals in your brain that help regulate your mood. It is not a “cure all”, but it does help me. Maybe it can help you too.

You are on the right track. You will find the way forward.

[Williams3lw in reply to Stilltrying2]

I try but can't get out the bed.

[litethatnevergoesout in reply to Williams3lw]

can you stand up and make your bed? Just straighten out the sheets and blankets and pillows. lay back down when your done and use a throw blanket if you need to have covers. I do this when I am struggling like that, some days I make my bed 50 times.

[Williams3lw in reply to litethatnevergoesout]

I'm doing that today

[Stilltrying2 in reply to Williams3lw]

Litethatnevergoesout is correct. If you can’t go for a walk, then aim for something smaller. Fluff the pillows, walk to the window.

[GrillMan]

I promise you that things will get better. It may take a couple more weeks to feel the medicine working, but talking to your therapist will take a lot of weight off your shoulders. The crying will lessen with time. Meanwhile, be gentle with yourself and try to keep up with sleep and regular meals. This can be difficult, but I know you can do it.

[Williams3lw in reply to GrillMan]

That is the problem I don't feel hungry or thirsty. I know I'm 245 I should be eating.

[Agora1]

Believe in that it will be okay Williams3lw. Medication can take between 4-6 weeks to

reach full efficacy. Therapy to address the fear and hopeless issues go right along with

the medication. During that time, finding other methods such as breathing and meditation

will be a bonus in controlling your anxiety. Time is on your side as you take each step

towards healing. You are in the right place with people who care and are able to share

their own experiences with you. There is hope in the not so distant future for you

Welcome to this community support forum. xx

[Williams3lw]

I need you guys I don't know what to do. I'm in need of all help

[Agora1 in reply to Williams3lw]

Right now Williams3lw, it's about taking in all the experience of others and then finding

some that may work for you. If you feel too overwhelmed at this time, just sit back and

absorb what we are saying.

I too, felt like you many years ago. There was no forum, just me struggling to find the

answers to my fear and symptoms. Tears, shaking that went into Agoraphobia and yet

I somehow knew that I would come out at the other end if I could just stay focused on

winning. Anxiety lies to us and once we believe those thoughts, we become paralyzed

with fear and even depression. We feel trapped, no way out. But there is a way out and

you have the key my new friend. Once you find that key to open the door of your mind,

you will be free to live an amazing life. I couldn't believe that I had the key within me

all this time. Once I found it, well what can I say except Life is Amazing once again.

Don't give up. Let us walk beside you as you take each step forward and sometimes one

step back. It's all about the healing process. You will win when the time is right and you

are ready. xx

[Williams3lw in reply to Agora1]

I feel I am ready. I really thank you. You sound like you have had the exact feelings I am experiencing now. It is in lighting to read your replies. Do you still have points where it to powerful to do things just as simple as brushing your teeth, eating getting out of bed? I can go days without eating and bare minimum water.

[Agora1 in reply to Williams3lw]

Williams, I do not have any of those issues anymore however, this didn't happen

overnight. It was a retraining of my brain and my habits. It was about finding other

methods that worked for me. Self Hypnosis, Affirmations, Relaxation Techniques,

Visionary Meditation. Living in the Present Moment is a huge release of stress.

Biofeedback, Water exercise, Breathing retraining and on and on. YouTube became

my "go to". Many professionals on these videos that I watched and listened to over

and over.

Breaking through Fear of Fear was a big win.

Taking care of yourself is a priority. Eating is a nourishment that must be kept up

'or your brain feels the starvation and can't function right. There isn't enough I

can say about hydrating. Water is essential for the body to function properly by

providing enough blood flow and oxygen to our heart, lungs and brain.

I don't want to overwhelm you. A little each day for your brain to digest and

think about. I'm glad you are here. I do believe that you are ready. xx

[Vonus5591]

Have you tried visualisation, go in your mind to best spots that you had on holiday or place you seen in magazine or tv. Take a moment to calm your breathing. Or visualise something lovely like nature walk or singing birds or ocean and tides or the different flowers. By placing yourself in these settings and pretend to use your senses. Or just look at night stars and moon. Take just a moment for yourself to be and allow yourself to relax. Just meditation is easier if you visualise as well.

Therapy is always good as you see what is actually holding you back from living your life and the deeper you explore with someone is easier way to cope because you can rely on their senses to cope. Learn with them coping and use what they have taught you, like replacing your thoughts with more positive will produce outcomes you desire.

Medication can really help, I found this really is key, too.

[Williams3lw in reply to Vonus5591]

I am very impatient. I work hard on Patience also so that is a big factor also.

[Williams3lw in reply to Vonus5591]

I try doing that also. It gets to a point were I cry uncontrollably because I think the worst at some point and I'm back where I started or worst.

[Vonus5591 in reply to Williams3lw]

In safe hands of psychiatrist you need to explore the reasons and face all your problems or issues or feelings

[Williams3lw in reply to Vonus5591]

I have a appointment today I hope we can find some real results. I will bring that up then also.

[Javahead]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm also having a hard time. I know some people do breathing exercises but I can't even calm down enough to breath. Never think you are hopeless. Hope is something we all have to work on. Hope gives us a reason to live. What dreams did you use to have? Maybe revisit some of those dreams. Make new dreams. It's hard and that's why we're here but please don't give up HOPE.🙏

[Williams3lw in reply to Javahead]

The dreams are like me reliving me being shot where I'm no longer here. I have had them for many years. I can't imagine my kids without me or me without my kids. The worst feeling and thought in this world. So scary

[Williams3lw]

I am trying not to but the depression and anxiety is building so strong. I never thought it was real until 2022. That's when I really reached out for help. I had my daughter in 2016 she was born 25 weeks. She was born dead. She was 1.9 pounds. Scariest day of my life.I felt it then but I had to be strong for my family. But a kept running away because I didn't know what to do. Now I cry and visualize my wife dealing with that on her own also. Then 2022 we lost a cousin she was 35 years old on 4 different life's supports couldn't find the reason why. Doctors told us she was the sickest a person could be and still living. Then I lost a little brother 30 years old.No known cause of death. Then being shot after that a lot was going on. It all hit me at once. Now I look at pictures of my family so happy it brings tears to my eyes because I am not okay mentally to bring my kids that kind of joy any more. I just want to be OK. Not perfect just okay enough to bring sunshine to my 3 little princesses and my one little prince. My Queen also. I can't if I'm not okay

[BlueAgave in reply to Williams3lw]

You're doing the right things now by getting help and the medications will help as well. You've had so many losses, no one can deal with that without some help. You are not hopeless, you are human with emotions. With some time, you will start feeling better and be able to get out of bed and be with your family. One minute at a time, one hour, one day. We are here for you ❤️

[MyDogisMyTherapist in reply to Williams3lw]

Oh my goodness I just read this part of your story. You have literally been through hell. I think grief counseling where you can process these very painful events might be a life saver. I love David Kessler. He has beautiful online support groups (NO one is turned away due to lack of funds) His website is grief.com and his support groups are called Tender Hearts. I think he helped me get in touch with so much that I was able to work through and be free from in time. I will always carry some degree of sorrow about having had cancer at a young age and having a hysterectomy at 22 to save my life from that. But I am so much better now

[Williams3lw in reply to MyDogisMyTherapist]

Just alot. I was never really aware of the mental toll it has on someone until like 2021-22 and it hasn't really stopped since. I like helping people so I thought why not ask for help. I have surrened all of me for help. To try any and everything. Thank you.

I have a story. When my daughter was born she was one pound 9 ounces. She's 8 now. I was coming from the hospital to go get my oldest daughter from school. My car stopped on the highway. Broke down. I have 15 minutes left driving but on foot probably 2-3 hours. So I began to run toward my destination. 3 to 4 minutes I'm running a car pulls over. Its a woman with big dark sunglasses on. She ask"is that your car broke down" . I answer yes . She says I'm headed towards Lawrence I'll take you if you need. I replayed yes I'm headed to Lawrence. I get in her car she says let's pray first before we pull off. We say amen. Then she ask where I was going. I tell her I just left the hospital about an hour away and my baby is in the nicu. Premature baby. She replies I worked in the nicu for 25 30 years. We pull up to get my daughter. Before I get out she tells me she gets her check deposited to her bank account every paycheck. God had told her to put this in a envelope. White envelope sealed closed. She hands it to me I began to cry I asked her name she said it didn't matter God told her to do it. I never seen her heard from her. I get out I tell her thank you. I get my daughter from school. I hug her she ask where is the car. I tell her on the highway broke down . I tell her someone gave me a ride and this envelope. We open the envelope. The price to tow my car and fix my car 305dollars no cents. That was the same exact that was in the envelope. I was so amazed. Still to this day I want to find her. But I just thank God because that's who she said sent her.

[BlueAgave in reply to Williams3lw]

That is such an amazing story! Thank you for sharing. Maybe someday you will find her, but probably not meant to. Just pay it forward as you can and continue God's work and love ❤️

[Jambo12]

Hi Williams . Have you tried writing your thoughts down / journaling ? I think your right about getting the help you need , it’s the first step to recovery and you will in time once you have the tools to deal with big emotions , negative thought patterns .

Just remember your not going through this alone ❤️❤️

I’m struggling with chronic anxiety at the moment . Just recovered from Covid and it’s set me back with mental health . Had to be off work , which causes me more anxiety .

[Hidden]

you’re super brave for putting your story out there- be proud of that. I can only speak for myself but I’ve felt very similar and felt completely hopeless. Try to focus on the fact that you’re reaching out for professional help- that’s the first step. You won’t feel so helpless because youll be actively doing something and will have someone whose sole purpose is to be there for you. Also, know you’re never alone. Keep posting and reaching out to others.

It really hit me, the end of your post, “I just want to be ok”. I feel like that’s my motto.

Also- just something I’ve learned over the years with my own and others experiences- if you meet a therapist and you don’t feel comfortable with them or like you connect with them, you are not obligated to stay with them.

Keep your head up!!!!

[MyDogisMyTherapist]

hello there. I don’t come on this site that often but I happened to read your post tonight, and felt the need to respond. I just wanted to offer my story as a means of providing a wee bit of hope. I have endured many decades of extreme depression, waking up wishing I would not wake up…and was on many different antidepressants (for 36 years!) during that time and did loads of therapy. I can tell you that as of today the depression is completely gone. This is what changed me:

1. I stopped using alcohol 7 months ago (this was a big decision because I am not a typical “alcoholic”, as I never had more than one glass of wine a night. But the alcohol was a crutch for me. I wasn’t dealing with life. I was numbing.

2. I love the warmth and strength I find at AA meetings and other 12 step fellowships which have deepened my spiritual life.

3. I feel very loved and not isolated because of the support in those meetings. I have a small home group I go to 5x week in the very early hours.

4. I became willing to let go of old beliefs (which were TRULY) depressing.

5. This one is a biggie: I became willing to “rock the boat” a little and stand up for myself and be authentic with people, especially my closest relationships, like my marriage. That’s been particularly hard, as a former people pleaser. But it is truly important. I needed a lot of therapy to support me in how to do this

6. I vigorously exercise 4x a week, an hour each time. That helps so much with stress.

7. I’ve learned to appreciate and foster my creativity. I love to write.

8. I have been really facing and dealing with childhood issues in therapy. Never felt like I measured up to my Dad’s expectations of me. I’ve actually tapered down (very very slowly) off my medication and I’ve been on nothing for 6 months now this is miraculous because I was always afraid to go off them, since I felt so bad while on them!! I was afraid I would feel really suicidal. That has not been the case whatsoever. I feel clearer and more authentic than ever. It is nice not to have the side effects.

9. My career these days is to facilitate grief groups. That’s my training, I have an MA in psychology, and I really a have been enjoying being there for others, whether it’s eating disorder recovery or people who are in grief—I find that incredibly meaningful. But I don’t think I could have done this part until I had some firm footing in depression recovery

10. I am committed to a new mindset that says EVERYTHING can be restored, there is simply no personal problem or obstacle too big that I cannot overcome it.

I hope something I said helps. And most of all I really hope you find healing and don’t give up. When you get through to the other side I believe you will be so grateful. 🐶

I LOVE some of the suggestions I have read here, about YouTube videos on meditation and affirmations. By all means YES! It is good to slowly retrain our brains with better thoughts!

Louise Hay’s 101 Power Thoughts is truly life changing. Good luck my friend. Please don’t ever give up.

[Williams3lw]

Thank you everyone. It truly is a blessing to have such beautiful souls to communicate with. U guys barley even know me and you all are showing me love. I will try this things and put my best foot forward. I learned it won't be smooth it will be bumpy. I might take a step or a few steps back but that is my recovery process. I have faith and hope to over come these feelings and this mental state I'm in. Again I thank you all so very much from the depths of my soul and the bottom of my heart I appreciate the caring post.