Fear of being mentally ill or not ill enough?

[Kat63]

Sometimes I think that the past 6 weeks since I lost my job have really driven me crazy. I’ve been experiencing serious anxiety, with occasional panic attacks.

If I really have lost my mind, gone crazy, become mentally ill, I’m scared that I’ll never be able to have a normal life again. I’ll have to go live with my father. At 55 years old, I would feel deeply ashamed to have to do that.

On the other hand - if I’m having all this anxiety, but I don’t really have a mental illness - is there any help available for me? I can’t get through this part of my life alone, without any help. Whether or not I really am crazy, sometimes I *feel* crazy. I do have a Rx for Ativan, but the doctor won’t give me much at a time, so I hesitate to use it. What if I use up all the Ativan, and then have the worst panic attack/freak out that it’s possible to have?

I’m scared that if I’m *not* crazy, I’m not sick enough to get good help.

[Skydreamer42]

I am 25, living on disability income for panic attacks and other anxiety based conditions, and I live with a pair of trusted friends who are approximately your age and also on disability income for similar conditions. It's possible to survive like this, though I admit it is a different quality of life. I wish you all the best.

[Skydreamer42]

It does no harm to seek professional help, Kat63. It can do a lot of good. It can help you gain perspective on how in fact you are doing. I would recommend it. Talk to your General Practitioner and take the steps to evaluate your mental health, seek referrals to mental health practicioners. If you are in need of supplementary income it is possible to get it. When I had no resources a case manager was assigned to me to help get resources. I wish you much luck.

[Kat63 in reply to Skydreamer42]

Do you live in the U.S.?

[Skydreamer42 in reply to Kat63]

Yes. I have lived in Santa Clara county in California since 2017, prior to that I had lived in New Jersey my whole life.

[Kat63 in reply to Skydreamer42]

Oh, OK. I live in Virginia. Just wondering what resources are available. Some parts of Virginia have better resources than others.

[Skydreamer42 in reply to Kat63]

A fair enough statement, but we are in the same country. There are resources available. Much of the difficulty involved in me attaining my resources has been my inexperience navigating the world overall. My mental health team has advocated for me considerably. You may ask me questions if you require answers. It's nearly time for me to begin an appointment with my case manager, but I will get back to you. I hope you will pursue options available to you.

[_amabelizzario]

Hey Kat63! There is always help, don't think that you are not sick enough. I think if there is something bothering then you can have the best assistance. Explain everything with details, if necessary write what you've been feeling, anything different and if you can, get more than one opinion. I hope you feel better soon. Don't worry about what you have to do, just focus on doing what is necessary to make you be healthy again. It's going to be alright.

I wish you all the best

[JAYnLA]

Whenever my desire to 'not move' comes along, I indulge for a bit. If I can get some sleep I think that's usually good, since I haven't been sleeping well for a while. If I can't, I know that I need to do the opposite. I need to get up, shower and have a day. I usually start by taking a walk. I relate to your post and once you get more acquainted with this condition it won't be as baffling as it seems today.