Scared of how life has become. Hoping for better

[betterdayswillcome]

Background - in March of this year I had a panic attack that floored me. First and only time in my life I’d ever experienced it. My GP put me on Lexapro, I was not a fan of that. Was on That 12 weeks. GP switched me to Wellbutrin which was HORRENDOUS. Was on that for 12 weeks. In October of this year I got off everything and had been doing that until a major anxiety attack yesterday. My Psychiatrist who now handles my meds has given me Prozac and I’m starting that tomorrow. I’m scared. I’m worried. I don’t know how I’ll react or deal with it. This is all so new to me. I just have so much fear of my mind going crazy.

[Agora1]

betterdayswillcome...nothing is worse than waiting for the "trial and error" period of medications to come into effect.

I'm sorry you are going through this but I'm glad that you have become a part of this forum.

We have all been through the same experience and can hopefully allow you not to feel so alone, so scared. It's going to be okay. We are a caring and understanding site to be on. Reach out to us while you are in this anxious period. We may be able to help you by sharing our own life experiences with mental health.

As for myself, I have gotten through the difficult times. I have found myself again. Through medication, intense therapy as well as finding other methods to calm the extreme anxiety, I am now here to pass by success forward. Welcome to an amazing and safe forum xx

[betterdayswillcome in reply to Agora1]

thank you for your reply! That is the part that worries me the most, the trial and error. The first two meds made it feel worse rather than better. Hopefully this one will be better. And I’m extremely glad to be here. It seems like an awesome place with lots of great people and info.

[Blueruth]

you had one panic attack and now you are on addictive meds? I don't mean to make light of your situation. It must be terribly scary. But meds are the only option. Are you seeing a therapist? Curious but did either doctor even tell you to see one? A therapist can help you understand why and give you mental tools so you can regain a sense of control. Meds make you feel better but they aren't really a fix.

[betterdayswillcome in reply to Blueruth]

I was a bit contrite in my initial post. I had my first attack in March and ended up in the ER. I wish that was the only one, but there have been many many more. To the point of not being able to work and interact as I normally had

My GP did refer me to a therapist in May after 6 weeks on meds. I wasn’t well versed in this area so I wasn’t a better self advocate at first and didn’t push for a therapist before meds, but we don’t know what we don’t know. I have been working with a therapist for a few months now.

[Hidden in reply to betterdayswillcome]

I always try to do some more holistic things than just relying on medication. Take a long shower before going to bed, drinking some chamomile tea, journaling, meditation, stuff like that. Even trying yoga. I’ve come close to having a couple of panic attacks. Taking deep breaths and trying to slow down is what helps me.

[betterdayswillcome in reply to Hidden]

thank you for the reply. I did buy the Calm app and started the guided meditations and breathing exercises. It has been a big help in keeping me away from the ER when the attacks come on. Journaling is something I really do need to try as well. I’ve never been much of a writer and feel like it may be a good way to get my thoughts out and feel safe about it

[Hidden in reply to betterdayswillcome]

Sure. And if you’re worried about someone reading what you’re writing you can always just write out everything you’re feeling and then rip it up or burn it a few days later. Sometimes it’s just helpful to get it all out on paper so it’s not stuck in your mind.

[Oshunlvr in reply to Blueruth]

What we post isn't ever the full story, we tend to give the highlights of the situation because most of us have been there and get the gist of the problem.

[Oshunlvr]

It took me a while to find the right cocktail for me. Some meds were awful some worked, some counseling did nothing but journaling was a home run etc. There is no overnight fix. Talk often to people who understand, it helps so much. Good luck!

[Haribo58]

So sorry your having such a tough time with everything. I was on prozac (fluoxetine) for around 5yrs, I found them extremely beneficial and they helped me along my route to recovery, I eventually weaned myself off them gradually many years ago now and am now not on any medication. When you experience a panic/anxiety attack it's stored as a memory just like other things and because the experience is so terrifying we tend to become stuck in a cycle of fear, scared incase we get another attack, the more fearful we become the worse we feel, please try not to despair there are many people who recover enough to get back to normal life again. Use the medication as a tool to help you on your journey to better times, other tools you can use are mindfulness and self help by learning how anxiety works and how it affects our thinking, knowledge is a wonderful thing, the more you understand the less afraid you become xxx

[betterdayswillcome in reply to Haribo58]

thank you! This is exactly where I’m at and you’re where I hope to be. Right now it’s just a constant cycle of fear. I’m more worried about another panic attack than I am worried about actual feelings. Hopefully the third time is the charm with medicine and it can get me on a path back to feeling myself. Thank you again for the response.

[Epsom1]

I wish you well, hope you have supportive friends or at least one person who can be there for you

[Dansing]

HI,

You are not alone, we are here all for each other.

I was having those attacks for weeks...I understand f your fear of meds.

I tried like 5 or 6 meds.

I was so scared off each newmed I tried.

I begun with a quarter of pill to see how my brain reacts .

But the most helped me was the lexapro.

This med stopped the attacks after 2 weeks.

Hugs to you and good luck.

[betterdayswillcome]

Thank you for your reply! Passing like a kidney stone sounds like the perfect way to summarize this period, I’m definitely going to steal that saying.

It definitely isn’t fun but I’m glad to have found a community with so many people willing to share their experiences and help me through mine. I have friends I’m open with and talk about this with but none have gone through it, and I’m happy they don’t know the feeling.

Hopefully this new medication works better than the last and combined with CBT and meditation/breathing exercises I can develop a routine that can bring me closer to my old homeostasis

[czw1959]

If I could say one thing to you I would try to get off the Pharmaceuticals and do everything that I can to learn coping skills, exercise, meditation. They also have something called TMS therapy. I'm still on Pharmaceuticals I'm 63 years old and wish I never started taking them. There are other ways my love.

[betterdayswillcome in reply to czw1959]

They definitely scare me. I’ve been extremely vocal with the medical team I’m working with that I’m not a fan of medicine and want to use it as a stepping stone while I’m in therapy and learning coping mechanisms.

[bethelbee]

I like how you stated it isn't our place to tell others what they should or shouldn't do. I've said something similar on this site a few times. It should be more like 'I tried xyz and it helped me'. Obviously we all respond to different meds and other treatments differently.

[bethelbee]

I hope you are able to find something that works for you! I was on meds for decades(am 67)the first being Prozac when it first came out( in the late 80's)and it worked for about 10 years til it stopped working. Next was Celexa with the same results, then over the next many years was trial and error with some working and others not or those that gave me bad side effects. Finally became treatment resistant to meds. Luckily a couple years ago my therapist recommended TMS which has been a game changer and life saver for me. Obviously we all respond differently to different treatments. Hope things work out for you!!

[designguy]

I tried using natural supplements for my anxiety/depression but they didn't make any difference and then started on meds. I went through a half-dozen over a period of years without any success. I finally did a psychopharmacological test that used my dna to help determine which meds might be best suited for me genetically. It showed that none of the meds I had tried before were right for me so I started on one it recommended which was a different type of med (Pristiq) and it has worked for me. My test was from Genesight and paid for by my insurance. As you know, we all react differently to meds and it is a lot of trial and error starting on them but this test helped reduce that for me.

The other thing I found and is common, is that meds alone won't eliminate your anxiety/panic it took learning what it really is and a constructive way to deal with it to help me. I recommend the DARE Anxiety book and youtube videos to learn how to deal with it.

[betterdayswillcome in reply to designguy]

thank you for your reply! I made a note to look into the genesight and will definitely be looking into the DARE Anxiety book.

I have always had a respect for medications but never believe they’re the cure, and I think that’s part of what scares me so much about trying new meds. The first two not working for me and knowing the issues they caused has made me gun shy. But after 6 weeks with nothing and progressively getting worse I know I need something. Hopefully this along with getting deeper into therapy can help

[designguy in reply to betterdayswillcome]

I would have preferred the natural route but on my dads side of the family there is a history of depression so I assumed I was predisposed to it and I got over the fear of trying the meds. I figured I had nothing to lose, I could always quit them if I don't like them so why not try, glad I did. I did wind up working with a functional medicine psych med practitioner who takes a holistic approach to meds which I have found helpful and comforting.

[SayNOtoPanic]

so sorry you’re going through this. You’re not alone and my full empathy goes out to you cause it’s scary. The fear itself and worry keeps feeding it. Prayers up to you. Not sure if you’ve heard of the late Dr Weekes, there’s a book Hope and Help for your nerves. It is on audible but also YouTube and/or paper version if you prefer reading over listening. I would recommend it for sure to get more understanding and push through. Hang in there.

[Tara52 in reply to SayNOtoPanic]

That book helped me also.🙂

[SayNOtoPanic in reply to Tara52]

Thanks for sharing Tara. So glad to hear! It’s a regular listen for me.

[RMHiker]

I developed anxiety and depression during cancer treatment. Although I'm done with the treatments, I'm still suffering with anxiety and depression, though it has gotten better. I'm trying my third antidepressant, first Lexapro, then Celexa, and now Trintellix. The anxiety responded well to Gabapentin. It made a tremendous difference. I still have some anxiety at times, but it's not nearly as bad, so it gives me hope that I will get better. I've started seeing a therapist and I also exercise on my treadmill 5 days a week. Exercise helps a lot! Also check out Therapy In A Nutshell and Douglas Bloch on YouTube. Their videos are very educational and comforting. I pray you get better soon 🙏

[betterdayswillcome in reply to RMHiker]

thank you for your reply! And congrats on being done with cancer treatments!! Exercise is something that I haven’t tried. My doctor had suggested it but I was so consistently scared of a heart attack that I couldn’t do it. Hopefully soon I’ll get back into it, I can’t imagine it won’t help. And I will check out those YouTube pages, thank you!

[Tara52]

Have you had any therapy to determine why you are having so many fear thoughts? Did you go through some trauma last March? I hope the prozac helps and that you are feeling better soon.Hugs!💗

[betterdayswillcome in reply to Tara52]

Hey there, I have discussed it with friends, family and just recently started therapy and discussed it there but not in detail yet. I had 3 friends and a grandmother pass in a span of 5 months. All 3 friends were young and unexpected, one of whom was my best friend. That’s been the worst. Any activity he and I used to do, which is a LOT, triggers me now. I have an unhealthy worry of dying young and unexpected because of my friends. So that is what I’m fighting inside my head.