Lost

[Sad_Sausan]

I've lived with depression my whole life and it has beaten me down.

I was the only boy with 3 sisters and a mother and father who hated their life and took it out on me. Physical abuse (slaps, hits, belts, hangers, fist, feet) and emotional terror was my life most days of my childhood. I'm 27 now and have been seeking and receiving treatment for about 6 years.

It has steadily gotten worse over my life and the last 6 months have been a serious test on my will to live.. it's virtually gone. The only thing keeping me alive is the fact that I dont want to die. I've almost ended it 3 times and I dont think there will 4th "try" as they say.

I dont have much time left, I'm lost.

[Hidden]

First off welcome to the site. Your story is such a sad one yet here's the good news....you suffered at the hands of your dad...not you...shame on him and one day he WILL answer, aren't you glad to know you aren't like that. i'm here for you. Dump trucks of love, peace, light, joy & hugs!

[Sad_Sausan in reply to Hidden]

Thank you 😁

[Hidden in reply to Sad_Sausan]

It's my pleasure...I went through some things but no way like you did....let it go...best thing for you to do!

Dump trucks of love, peace, light, joy & hugs!

[Sad_Sausan in reply to Hidden]

It's hard to let go of the two people who were suppose to love you. Who said they did.

[Hidden in reply to Sad_Sausan]

I'm no replacement but I do love you!!!

[Sad_Sausan in reply to Hidden]

At the end of the day I think I just want to feel loved. It's hard believe that anyone that says I love you.

[Hidden in reply to Sad_Sausan]

Well believe me...I don't say anything I don't mean!!!!

[kenster1]

hi mate you do have time believe me and you have plenty of amazing years ahead of you.i had some of what you suffered at home apart from feet/fists I was know as the bxxxxxd child at times not nice growing up with those thoughts.life will always be a test even for people who don't suffer.our test is just a little harder at times.keep at it keep talking try new things from time to time.most importantly keep the faith.

[Sad_Sausan in reply to kenster1]

I'm not sure what to have faith in.

[kenster1 in reply to Sad_Sausan]

have faith in yourself that you can have a happier life.

[Agora1]

Lost no more Sad_Sausan. I'm glad you found this amazing forum and I'd like

to Welcome you to a safe place to come where you will be heard. We understand

and we care about each other. We support you by making you feel less alone and

hopeless. As we share our own life's journey with each other, we learn and get

strength and comfort in how others have faced similar issues.

Stay strong my friend, you are young. Take our hand as we walk this journey with

you. You found us for a reason. x

[upsetmamma]

Hi sad! I’m so glad you posted on this forum. This group is great at talking things out. They are understanding, warm, and nurturing. I’m so sorry to hear your story. Shame on your parents. You are a blessing! You seem like such a kind and beautiful soul. I think you will make a fabulous parent. Maybe that could be something to look forward to?!?!