Very bad again

[Orangeblossom85]

I wanted to keep positive but unfortunately this mask is really wearing me off.

I would love to tell you all that it’s all ok and fill you all up with hope. Unfortunately I’m very bad again. I don’t feel anxious. I feel lost. I feel gone. I feel that I can’t change my world and I can’t change who I am.

I only have five hours left to my morning alarm. I’m dreadful. Crying in my bed tears of a crocodile! I haven’t been crying so hard and so painfully for long long time. This pain inside me kills me. Rips my chest...

[Orangeblossom85]

I’m very sorry for my poor English, seems like my mind is rotting...

[Sillysausage234]

We never give up hope,your doing so good getting to your job hope you can get some sleep 💤

[aaronm]

I'm sorry its a difficult time but Alan is right. We are still cheering for you and will always do so. We are here through the good times and the bad. We are here to support and cry with you but also to laugh and joke.

[NCAQuilter]

Your English is fine. English is my native language, yet sometimes I really make a mess of it!

I'm really sorry you feel so bad.You were so positive just a few days ago, but that's depression - up, then down. Please call your doctor first thing in the morning and tell them you complete feelings; don't hold anything back. If you have been holding back for any reason they need to know why. It helps them with their treatment of you. If you are taking medication, then maybe some change may help.

My love and shoulder to cry on are with you.

[Orangeblossom85 in reply to NCAQuilter]

My brain is not working... I have no idea how I managed to drive to work. I’m so excessively tired! Exhausted! I see that I need 12h of sleep, which means waking up around 1 pm......

[AnonymousLlama]

It's okay not to feel "positive" all the time. I think it's more important to accept what you're feeling and confront it. Otherwise you just end up just stressing yourself out more (feeling anxiety about feeling anxiety).

[Hollick in reply to AnonymousLlama]

I agree..I hate when we get caught up on pretentious upbeat positive attitude. It's okay to feel what you're really feeling in the moment, let's not fake our emotions. We've all done it, it's natural but not healthy if it's not true to your current self and state of mind and for long periods of time... I hope it makes sense.. wishing everyone well..take care, it's very cold outside. Warm thoughts to all.

[Hidden]

I’m sorry for how you feel.

Thinking of you.

🌹🌹xx

[Agora1]

Orangeblossom, let me wipe your tears. You are safe. You are not alone.

We are all here to support you. Sending love your way xx

[Orangeblossom85 in reply to Agora1]

I must tell you that after crying so hard and writing this post I was able to fall asleep and I slept without waking up the whole 5 hours.

[Agora1 in reply to Orangeblossom85]

I'm so glad. xx

[Hidden]

You are perfect the way you are you just need the lost feeling to go away and for the tears to stop, everything is going to be ok and most likely you will feel better soon I hope, take care, love yourself even on those bad days when you feel dreadful, you are not alone we are all here for you.

[ConcernedCaliMom]

You’ve got this Orangeblossom85! Even though u don’t feel like you do. Please don’t give up. We have all been there, where r are today, and yesterday. But there will be a time when u feel the slightest bit of light creeping out of that dark tunnel. U are amazing. Don’t forget that. Sending a giant air HUG 🤗❤️😍

[Orangeblossom85 in reply to ConcernedCaliMom]

Thank you so very much ! I know I will hang there and just wait through... it just that my state surprises me and scares me! I don’t want to come back to these dark places ever again!

[JEG325]

Have I asked you to join one of my free chatlines? It would give you your own small circle of friends to talk to. If you say yes I will add your username to 'Circle Of Friends' 4. There are currently 8 members and I will probably wind up with 12 to 14 members. You can then talk to anyone who is on the chatline. They're open 24/7. Okay? We can help make you feel a lot less lost, I guarantee it!

[Orangeblossom85 in reply to JEG325]

Sure i want to!

[JEG325 in reply to Orangeblossom85]

Awesome! You're in!

[Starrlight]

(((((((((((( 💜))))))))))))

[Quest4peace]

So glad you got your much needed sleep. Prayers for you that you’ll start to feel better soon