I feel like...

[Ree2019]

I feel like i'm on an island alone, and though I may have visitors from time to time i.e. my fiance and kids, I am the only one that is not permitted to leave. I feel like i'm never good enough. I feel like people only care about me when its beneficial for them. I feel like running away and starting over, but that only makes me feel guilty for even thinking about leaving my children and that only makes me feel angry for being so weak. I feel like i'm so damaged that i'm only damaging those close to me. Sometimes i I feel like a child who is lost and scared. I feel that although those closet to try to be understanding, they will never truly understand. Mostly I just feel sad. Sad that i cant just be "normal". Sad that my own mind is getting in the way of my happiness. And sad because i know I'm not the only one feeling like this.

[Hidden]

Hi there sorry to hear you are going through a hard time, hope you feel better soon, think lots of people on here feel similar to the way you are feeling now or have done in the past,

running away is the not answer as all the problems go with you I know this cause I have tried it, I would love to leave where I am and start again but no point until i feel better cause think I will feel the same where ever I go. wish we could all somehow just get well and all this pain depression and anxiety and lost feeling would go away for all of us

[Ree2019 in reply to Hidden]

Yeah you're probably right

[Hidden]

I'm sorry you feel the way you do...feel free to send me a message if you feel like it.

[Ree2019 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much

[suzzze]

I feel like... u transcribed my exact thoughts.

[LadyO4]

I can appreciate what you share - I have felt so alone at times too. When you say you never feel good enough, I would be interested to know where your list of criteria came from. Your past? broken relationships? A controlling parent? Low self-esteem? It doesn't take long before a lifetime of negative comments begins to shape your self worth. What does being "good enough" look like to you? It's funny how the world has been given so much power to decide who we should be.

Underneath all the layers of wanting to be a certain kind of person, is already a beautiful person that just hasn't been discovered yet. When a person removes the self judgement, the self expectations, the self condemnation, they can begin to see a side of themselves that is a part of who they are.

You have gifts, talents, strengths, a character, a personality, and a purpose for being alive that really determines who you are. Do you want to know what those are? Getting connected to the right people and relationships can draw out of you all these amazing qualities you possess. Do you believe it's possible to change your outlook?

Depression robs a person from being able to see this about themselves, and depression is reversible. When hormone levels are completely out of balance, it affects your mind, body, soul, and spirit. They all work together, and when one is hurting, they all hurt.

Treating the depression without the use of any drug will take you to the root cause of the problem and give you options for reversing it. Do you believe this is possible?

Don't ever stop believing you have more of life waiting for you. You don't have to stay stuck. There is an enemy to your soul that wants to make you feel worthless and useless. That is a lie. You were created for a reason, but the depression is blocking your view.

I hope you are able to consider the fact that there are ways to feel better. Hope could be closer than you think.

[Ree2019 in reply to LadyO4]

i dont take drugs and im kind of thinking about trying some because doing this on my own isnt working

[Ragdoll15]

Reading your post was just like reading about myself.

[RoseEnchanted]

I feel you..... is like you’re describing me!!! But you know I feel the same way, and I want to do something for me. That is why I am setting a goal for me and myself; to at least accomplished one thing at a time. Be brave my friend and love yourself like you’ve never loved someone. Be courageous, is time to grow some bone!!!

[Ree2019 in reply to RoseEnchanted]

its hard trying to find my inner self when all i know is being a mom and wife

[Hidden]

Yes, you are not the only one. It is hard for others to relate but I get it completely. Let your loved ones in. They love you regardless. Don't feel guilty for wanting to run. I get that but you can't escape yourself. You are worthy and you can love and be good for others. The battle is within yourself. Have you tried medication or counseling? There is hope. I'm glad you are here sharing. We will help you and we care and understand.

[Ree2019]

Thank you so much!

[RoseEnchanted]

You’ll get it. Sooner or later. Just think that being able to do what you like does not make you less of a mother and wife.