I feel like noone understands.

[Hopeful_wish]

New here...

I'm upset and feel like I could cry because, ever since diagnosed with agoraphobia and anxiety I've told my mom when I'm in a situation that makes me uncomfortable. Just to give her insite as to what goes through my mind verses others. However, lately she says "oh, girl it's okay your with family, you have no reason the be nervous". In my mind I do though. It's like now instead of working with me she kinda devalues how I truly feel, and I'm left rigid trying to act like I'm "normal" knowing damn well I'm freaking out inside and worried about what everyone is thinking about me. It's so stressful. That's the shorter version -.-

[Celtic27]

Hi there could the problem is that your mom doesn't understand you illness fully she's maybe not come across it so try and help your mom understand what it is really like for you all the time! You say you've got anxiety but has your doctor ever suggested you may have depression sometime it isn't immediately aparrent that this is the case it might be worth going back to your doctor and tell them how you feel and see if they can help you! Please take care and get well soon!

[Hopeful_wish in reply to Celtic27]

I use to keep things to myself but after my therapist told me I'm not the only one, I started opening up to her more. It was like the more I opened up to her the more she would brush me off and say it all in your head. For example: we went to get our toes done ( which is suppose to be relaxing, but it gave me mixed feelings. I was happy to finally take the first step and get out of the house more, but on the other hand I was nervous because I was worried about people looking at me and thinking I was weird. Before the lady even started on my toes I was ready to go, but I made myself stay because it was part of my exposure therapy. I was trying to keep my chin up and be normal but I had freaked out on the inside that once I finally got good breathing through I literally was tired and it was like full exhaustion had set in. So, when it was all over I told my mom thanks for inviting me, but on the inside it felt like I was screaming. I told her that even though I was struggling I was happy I went and she says "really, hm" "oh, girl your fine". So this has happened in many instances and i though i was making progress with her, but now she left me feeling like I have no one to talk to and have to find help on my own yet again.

My therapist mentioned depression, but she wants me to get a physical which I plan to schedule tomorrow. She wants to see if nutritional deficiencies cause my depression before medicine is involved. Hopefully it will provide some clarity. I guess I feel deep breaths and meditation are not enough, but maybe I need to be more disciplined. Idk.

[Hopeful_wish in reply to Celtic27]

Thank you so much 🤗

[Celtic27 in reply to Hopeful_wish]

I'm thinking that maybe once you've had the tests done and if it shows you have depression why not ask your mom to attend your appointment to see if that help improve her understanding of your illness! You sound as if you've got a great therapist which always helps! If you have depression it's not the end of the world rather the start of a new you don't worry about meds as long as you fallow your therapists advice you will be fine! I hope things improve for you let me know how you get on if that's OK all the best david 😊

[Hopeful_wish in reply to Celtic27]

Your right! I think I'll try that next, small steps right

-Blessings

[Sunnidayz1]

I know what you are feeling when you get panicky. I have been there. I still experience agoraphobia and social anxiety sometimes. Im glad to hear your mom is trying to be so supportive. It's hard to describe to someone what goes on in the head when panic sets in.

If we could just "not be afraid" we would. If they was a switch to stop it anyone would.

The truth is to get through this it's not easy at all.

[Hopeful_wish in reply to Sunnidayz1]

Yes it's very hard, and it makes you feel vulnerable, but you've got to be uncomfortable to have growth or change. If I stay set in my old ways I won't make any progress. So regardless, I'm gonna strive to be a better me. After all "God puts the best things in life on the other side of fear"- Will Smith said this in his motivational video and it was surprisingly accurate. You should check it out on YouTube it made my mind shift gears, lol. Thank you.

Blessings🌷

[Sunnidayz1 in reply to Hopeful_wish]

That is a beautiful quote. I believe in God and the bible is all that I need.

I have been where you've been. My goal is to come down from meds. Everyday I get better and better. There is a cure. I am almost there.

[Hopeful_wish in reply to Sunnidayz1]

You are so right! Keep your chin up, and I wish you the best of luck, and I hope you stay in touch.

Blessings🌷