I feel like shit.

[SoniaGorgeous]

You know how Everybody is keep on saying that “your life is Great!!! You ShOuD Be hApPy, tHerE ArE PeOPle wHo Is LiVinG Worse than you..” you get the idea anyway.

And they are right i think, but i feel genuinely unhappy and sad I’m crying all thd time when alone in my room, i keep on ”hibernating“ (sleeping all the time) just to not be awake and not feel shitty about myself, my mind is sabotaging me, i feel awful always sad, people around me says that I’m viewing everything through “a Negative lenses “, i used to be so positive and optimistic my heart was on my sleeves, always open for new friendships and eager even to go out and have fun. Now it’s the complete opposite, i hate going out, I don’t have a purpose, i feel like a waste of space, i get frustrated pretty easily.

by nature i hate opening up and talking about my problems, especially to my loved ones, because i hate to bother them with my issues.

So when i finally told them i feel depressed and tired they told me “it will pass, You Are Strong!!, you never even Cry in public, it’s temporary, there are people who feel a-lot worse than you“ thats what my family said.

But I really do feel bad and empty, i have a black hole in my heart that is consuming everything good in my life turning it into something unbearable, I’m afraid of my future, I’m afraid of losing people i love due to my unstable state of mind, I can’t even trust my judgments anymore. Sorry for it to be too long i just needed to let it out. Thanks.

[Hidden]

I get it. Overly positive never helps me. I just need people to listen and be there with me as I let the sadness or anxiety out. I’m here to listen. Post, it’s really helping me and hope it helps you too 💛

[SoniaGorgeous in reply to Hidden]

Thank you very much! I’m glad you get me, I really just want someone to listen without judging me.

[Agora1 in reply to SoniaGorgeous]

We never judge here Sonia, this is a safe place for you to come. xx

[SoniaGorgeous in reply to Agora1]

Thank you so much!

[Hidden in reply to SoniaGorgeous]

That’s all I ever need too. Lots of people on here to listen 😁

[Daz2310]

I really feel your pain I feel everything you do your not alone here and my inbox always open for a more detailed chat , stay strong hun

[SoniaGorgeous in reply to Daz2310]

Thank you, you have no idea how much I appreciate it!!

[Daz2310 in reply to SoniaGorgeous]

I’m a regular here any time day or night 👍🏻

[Agora1]

Sonia, what do you think turned your positive ways into such negativity?

Unless people have been through anxiety/depression they cannot possibly

understand what it's like to feel this emotional pain.

But we all do on this site. World wide, men and women alike feel the same

as you do. We help support each other through sharing our individual

journeys. We learn from each other with love and respect. I'm glad to welcome

you here with us. xx

[SoniaGorgeous in reply to Agora1]

Thank you for having me, I really appreciate all your support.

I think i feel like this because I don’t speak about my issues a lot, always kept them to myself as i said i hate to bother people with my problems, and since 2013 life wasn’t so easy on me, constant disappointments and betrayals and heartbreaks, but the last straw was when I became my moms personal therapist (while struggling with my own issues) i helped her through her break up with my dad (whom i love dearly), for 3 years i was her supporter until she felt better, but she still puts on me all her issues and I can’t take it anymore, i feel guilty for being tired of being a supporter. When i tell her about my issues she will instantly tells me about hers (comparing her struggles to mine) i think this situation drained me, it’s a constant (Your Father did me wrong blah blah blah...) and my sisters sided with her on putting a blame on my dad, so I’m trying to support my mom while still advocating for my dad.

I’m just lost. Tbh I don’t know what made me lose interest in life.

[Agora1 in reply to SoniaGorgeous]

Sonia, children no matter what age, should never become a sounding board

between mom and dad. When parents divorce, their world comes crashing

down. The security and stability of the family is shaken. Along with your own

issues, disappointments, betrayals and heartbreaks, it isn't surprising that

you lost interest in life. A black cloud of depression is hanging over you and

you have no one who will listen or that you want to bother.

But Sonia, it is important that you talk these things out with a professional.

You are worthy of that. You need to love yourself enough to take this pain

away. Of course you feel lost. The jar can only get so full before it starts

spilling over. I hope you do seek help for yourself. We will still be here to

support you as well. xx

[SoniaGorgeous in reply to Agora1]

You’re 100% right, i feel and agree with everything you said!!

Despite our parents going through tough time, we as their children went through the hardest times of our lives, Thank you for your support and kind words they mean a lot to me.

[Daz2310]

Let it out mate that’s point to the group

[Bluzzle]

I remember so many times people saying to me "but your so pretty", "what do you have to be sad about your young?" , "You are lucky that you have it as good as you do." and so on... but to me it was something that was just there no matter what. Even when everything in life is going well, you could still find me crying, breaking down in panic, unable to get out of bed, avoiding everything, and also ruining relationships without even realizing what I was doing. Everything youve said in this post reminded me of times Ive gone through for years alone, when everyone began telling me I needed help. I felt so isolated and "crazy." You are not alone, as you can see from everyone elses support, but from my experience things do fluctuate. Even if it takes a month or longer, eventually you will get a brighter day! Living with depression and anxiety is sadly an everyday task and I hope you find the support and skills to find ways to bring more brighter days into your life! Thank you for your post!

[SoniaGorgeous in reply to Bluzzle]

I’m glad you’re feeling better now, you gave me hope.

Thank you dear for your support it means a lot to me! I also feel crazy and i isolate myself in order not to disappoint anybody, i also feel like everyone is against me and not understanding what I’m feeling.

[Bluzzle in reply to SoniaGorgeous]

It means a lot that you say that! Just remember that you are not crazy you are just learning how to cope with your emotions. If you need space to figure out how to handle relationships and emotions there is nothing wrong with taking it and we all understand you and can relate! Ive learned no one is really against me when my brain thinks they are, people are really only worried about themselves a large majority of the time. I hope you find some light and happiness in something!

[SoniaGorgeous in reply to Bluzzle]

I’m beyond grateful, Thank you so much for your kind words they mean a lot to me.

when I joined this group i knew I’d find support, but I never thought I’ll feel this accepted and supported!

I wish you well❤️

[Krn210]

I despise that saying “don’t be sad when other people have it much worse.” How is that any different than saying “hey, stop being happy because there are other people that are happier than you.” Not to mention depression and anxiety are a totally different ball park. If we all could just stop it we would. *hugs*

[SoniaGorgeous in reply to Krn210]

It really makes me feel guilty, like maybes they are right and I’m just ungrateful...?

Thank you for your support, i feel very grateful to be here.

[Hidden]

I echo

Exactly ncoo7

I had a terrible doctor who jumped down my throat Day one

No bitching

Terrible horrible

Communication is part of relationships for better or fircwirse

How u feel

Is how u feel

How u feel is how u feel

I totally agree with nc007

This is the safe house

U can say anytging here

[SoniaGorgeous in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much!! I really appreciate it.

[Hidden]

Welcome yur family here

U would do itvforvanynof us

Seeing ur happy meter coming up and unfeeling better ah now that’s special

[Under_Over-Achiever]

You don't have to feel any other way besides how you feel. You are allowed to be sad or unhappy. Just because you have more or have it better than someone else doesn't mean your not allowed to struggle and feel how you feel. Happiness is relative to everyone's individual situation. I have been try in to "sit in my feelings." I still struggle with what that even means, but I mindfully think about what is bothering me instead of trying to run away from the feelings or just feel bad about it. It stay with that uncomfortable feeling as long as I can here and there over time until it becomes bearable and doesn't feel so overwhelming. Hope that helps.

[SoniaGorgeous in reply to Under_Over-Achiever]

Thank you for this!

I just know that my mental state is bothering or worrying everyone around me, and yet I can’t make myself feel better, even tho I’ve been meditating for 2 years now, but lately i cannot find peace of mind.

I hope you will feel better!

[8L0ND1E]

I feel this way often as well. I’m glad you’re here with us, much support!

[SoniaGorgeous in reply to 8L0ND1E]

Thank you for having me, i feel so supported!

[courageovercomfort]

I can relate to this so much! On the outside I have many things (job, home, family, friends). My husband is notorious for saying things like “just be thankful you have so much”. But depression does not discriminate. And is not a matter of “just be positive”. I am finally learning this and know that I have a depression and anxiety disorder. Not something I chose. I am finding a lot of support on this app and hope you do as well 🦋