I feel disconnected and lonely.

[Lizanimal]

I don't work because of my anxiety/panic/depression and have lost contact with all of my friends since my husband and I moved 3 years ago and admittedly I was ashamed of my unemployment and the fact that I gained weight and so I withdrew contact from them. But even if I was in contact with them I feel so removed emotionally from those I love like my husband and my mom who are the only contact I have daily. I know I love my husband, I don't know what I'd do without his presence-life would not be worth living without him for sure. But on the daily I just cannot feel the love I am given by him, like he will do something that I say would make me feel loved and it just doesn't. Everything feels hollow, I feel like I'm faking a good mood sometimes because it hurts him that I'm just sad all the time. I just feel like I'm not even human and I'm trying to relate and care for others but it just feels so awkward and wrong and doesn't touch the emptiness. Is this the depression maybe or am I just a robot?

[Hidden]

That's the depression. It makes you feel numb and hollow. Even if you manage to feel something it only lasts a very short while: like just a few minutes.I know about those numb feelings very well.

[hypercat54]

Well you are certainly not a robot so this must be the depression. I presume you are seeking medical help? If not then it might be a good idea to have a chat with your doctor. x

[Lizanimal in reply to hypercat54]

I see a therapist once a week/every 2 weeks.

[Hidden]

Hi, I am wondering if you are codependent personality that has led to your issues. I say that because after years of not understanding why I was anxious and depressed and unable to connect deeply with my husband. I now go to CoDa meetings and talk with a therapist, journal a lot. It’s been an emotional journey but I am feeling something change inside me for the better. I’m 39 so this has taken me many many years

[Lizanimal in reply to Hidden]

I have suspected that I may have a codependance issue and even went as far as reading half a book about it.