Self harm denial

[777sigh]

I guess I'll just start off by saying that yes, I did used to self harm. I would cut my wrist in two places over and over so as to minimize the amount of scars, but now that I look at my arms and legs, I realize I have numerous scars, they just all look a little different. Around a year ago I cutted. I admit that. But ever since my mom figured out I have really done it at all after. Occasionally my therapist will bring it up, but I hate talking about it so I'll change the subject. Anyways I thought that I was self harm free until just recently when I realized that I was actually still self harming, just not cutting. I would mainly scratch at my thumb or leg until it bleeds then when it turns into a scab I would pick at that. I also at one point resorted to hitting my wrist with a rock. That was until I realized that I could get permanate nerve damage in my hand and I stopped doing that. But this whole thing is so frustrating. I try to stop hurting myself, but no matter how hard I try, that is still the only way I can truely cope.I'm just worried that one of these days someone Outside my family will find out, or worste that I'll actually permanently damage myself. I don't know what to do

[ThyroidJ]

I’m sorry you have experienced this

[777sigh in reply to ThyroidJ]

*Sigh* Me too

[fauxartist]

why are you not talking about this and what triggers the urge to self harm...if you don't trust your therapist enough to open up to them.....get a therapist who understands self harm....it's their job and your not the only one they have seen with scars and that self harm so there's nothing new there or anything that's going to shock them....they are there to help you dealing with the compulsion to self harm....they are there to help you.

[777sigh in reply to fauxartist]

I really should, but I feel like whenever the topic comes up they either look disappointed, annoyed, or pitiful...Maybe I just haven’t found the right therapist yet

[fauxartist in reply to 777sigh]

wrong therapist then.....they should show no judgement or emotion other than mild concern....and that does you no good.....get a therapist you can trust.....