Odd self-harm thoughts

[Wolf_in_a_Jar]

Over the past few weeks my self-harm thoughts have kind of been returning. I've honestly had a tough time rationalizing myself out of self-harming. So far I've been successful in not relapsing, but I'm scared that I'll cave soon

[fauxartist]

whats going on right now that has you upset to this point right now, can you share a bit more about what your feeling and why....we're here for you, it may take a bit for some of us to get back to you , but that's okay, we do get back.

[Wolf_in_a_Jar in reply to fauxartist]

I am in a transition phase right now. I graduated school in the fall and am beginning grad school this upcoming fall. I’ve been searching for jobs/volunteering and had a decent amount of interviews but haven’t been able to land anything. I’ve been keeping myself busy during the day but I suppose I’m kind of frustrated and have too much time to think and in the past self-harm was the best way to stop the thoughts. I’ve been journaling, exercising, drawing but those are starting to lose their effectiveness in preventing my self harm thoughts. I want to have something that just provides me an instant release from my depression/anxiety/racing thoughts..that’s why self-harm sounds appealing. I do have Ativan which really does help but the first time I was on it I abused it so now that I’m on it again I only take it when I’m about to have an anxiety attack or the urge to cut gets too strong.

[fauxartist in reply to Wolf_in_a_Jar]

Yes...what Elliott-sWorld was saying about doing something creative...I know you said you were board with what had been working for you..so try something different..music, are there any art therapy classes around, I wasn't very good at it, but I loved painting...if you go to a dollar store you can get a cheap set of paints and brushes, You said you liked drawing, you could watercolor your drawings in. I am currently working on a book where I want to have illustrations of my characters and some of the different landscapes etc. Before that I just did a little book for myself about the herbs I love to cook with and use for healing purposes, had simply printed old sketches of herbal prints and glued them in and then wrote what I did with each one and what they were used for. I also did a recipe's book, same way, photo's, and the results of trying new bread recipe's, all the notes of adjusting them to make them work better. Saw these beautiful simple bird houses made of old found weathered wood, cost nothing but were really nice.

The world of imagination is yours....you can get out of this depression/anxiety...even if you do have to take your meds for crisis purpose....that's what they are for, but you can also do something that makes you happy. Hang in there....this too will pass, hold on.

[ImLost3]

I feel like we have a lot in common when I run I fell like the world around me disappears and that’s what I love. You should go for a run. Hope I can help. You really did help me with your words remember your not alone.

[fauxartist]

if you really feel you need that release, another here posted to another in crisis about wanting to do self harm....she said she makes ice cubes and dyes them with red coloring. Then when she just feels she has to self harm...she takes out an ice cube and it simulates her feelings of release without having to actually harm herself.