It's been 3 years since I've had really serious thoughts of self harm and in the past when these thoughts have popped up I've been able to manage them by listening to music, meditating, reading, video games or exercising. But for some reason this time the thougths aren't really going away. So I've been relying on my own will to stop myself from self-harm. And its getting harder and harder because my will is weakening as the urge isn't receding. I don't want to succumb to my old s-h ways that overshadowed my life for 5+years because I've worked so hard to take the proper steps (counseling, meditation, communication with those close to me) to prevent my self from going down the terrible rod of self-harm again. I feel like I'm barely hanging on, I've spent about an hour a day for the past 3 day staring at my old scars and crying my eyes out wishing they would just dissappear for my body forever as well as the memories of all those time I self-harmed. It's just so hard. But I guess I just need to forcing myself to believe that s-h is bad and it'll only make things worse.