Dating and depression

[Strongest123]

Hello everyone. Hope everyone here is staying strong. I’ve been diagnosed with severe depression and I’ve had OCD since childhood. I was recently retired from my employer due to my illness. I’ve been seeing a therapist for over a year now, a psychotherapist. I like him cause he’s compassionate, he asks the right questions and he does get into the root cause of all my issues. I’ve been single for quite sometime, and I’ve debated going out on dates, just cause of my disability. Anyways I finally did go out on a date last week. I was talking to this women for a a few weeks till we finally set a meeting date. I live in North Jersey and she lives in Brooklyn so it was a bit far, but I decided to go for it. Make a long story short, we wound up at an Italian restaurant and had a pretty nice time. I really didn’t want to eat anything on a first date, I prefer going for coffee so as not to spend too much. But anyways we did and the conversation was pretty good. We hugged at the end of the date and she actually kissed me which was nice. She texted me that she had a great time and she would love to see me again. That was on a Sunday and the following morning I texted her good morning, she took a while to respond then she responded, not a good morning. I told her to think about the nice time we had then she texted me. I don’t have time to think about personal things now. I really thought that comment was totally inappropriate and totally insensitive. I haven’t heard from her since. So much for dating. Anyways that’s just one person what shocked me was the complete 360 degree turnaround.

Samson

[SirGrits]

Hey Strongest123, I'm a bit of a dinosaur on this one. But my read on it is that maybe she didn't mean what you took from her texts. Like I said I'm a dinosaur, but 100% of the time (in my old guy experience) the printed word--from texts and emails--sounds harsher/colder than what the author intended. Her comment about not having time for personal things may have been referencing that moment in time--in which she was probably at work, trying to get work things done or something.

If you truly had a great time on your date and want to do another, go for it. Maybe text or call her in the afternoon? I can't tell from your story that she did a 100% turnaround. It seems more likely that she felt she could share her frustration of the day with you.

But honestly, if you're a little put off by this; it's ok to move on to someone else. Either way, don't beat yourself up over any of it. And try not to over think it too.

[Strongest123 in reply to SirGrits]

Thank you for your response I appreciate it

[Agora1]

Hi Samson, try not to read more into her comment then she might have meant.

We never know what's going on in someone's life, especially someone we recently

met. I think that's encouraging in that you had a good time and she was cordial

to you at the end of the evening. Some aren't morning people. I wouldn't assume

her comment was directed to you personally.

Some people have been so hurt in prior relationships that once they take that step

forward, they get cold feet and need to step back. Give her the benefit of the doubt.

The "ball is in her court now" give her a chance to contact you. If she doesn't, it wasn't

meant to be and it's better to find out now.

Finding someone when you least expect it can happen on any given day. You will know

when it's right. Whatever happens, do not let this prevent you from dating. If you think

you are ready then go for it. You deserve to enjoy your life and live it to the fullest.

My best to you.

[Downandout123]

Hi Strongest123, because of the distance between you, I'm assuming you met her on a dating site? If so, I'm just here to tell you that I've been using them forever, without much luck. People are not who they say they are. They tell you one thing and do another. They are in it for their own agenda. Maybe it's different for men, but it's not easy for women who are looking for a monogomous relationship.You have to develop a really tough skin and try not to take things personally. I know-much easier said than done.😣 Just keep trying, and good luck!